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If you could only punch ONE person in the face


CuckedByMenry

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Posted

For the sake of a backstory, we'll say a genie has granted you one wish of his choosing (he's a stingy genie). The wish? You get to punch one person, full-on in the face, with no repercussions. So....

 

Who?

Why?

Where?

How? (Dragon punch, discus punch, punching with a fist caked in wasps, etc)

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Posted

Robbie Williams. And I wouldn't say anything. No words, just physical action.

 

Actually, that was just to crowbar a Day Today quote in there. I'd tell him that he's not allowed to use the assault on his face as the basis for some kind of pathetic tortured genius act, like how he ruined that hilarious footage of someone running onstage and pushing him into the orchestra pit by weeping in the dressing room afterwoods and doing the whole "What makes a human being do that to another human? Have I done something wrong?!" attention seeking bullshit.

 

Take the fist and shut the fuck up.

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Posted

This won't be popular, but my cheating whore of an ex.

 

I've not enjoyed any of the punches I've ever thrown, most in defence of myself or a friend, but I'd at least find that cathartic.

 

No words, just physical action.

 

Smother the man.

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Posted

Who? Peter Andre.

Why? Because he wanted to adopt Harvey, which got Dwight Yorke upset.

Where? Round the back of Tescos up our way, where there's no camera.

How? Fist to the temple, followed by various insults about how he's not fit to adopt Harvey.

Posted
This won't be popular, but my cheating whore of an ex.

 

I've not enjoyed any of the punches I've ever thrown, most in defence of myself or a friend, but I'd at least find that cathartic.

 

I'm with you on that. I got arrested for slapping a phone out my ex's hand, and right after I wish I'd just popped her right in the jaw. I'd have gotten the same punishment as it all falls under domestic violence.

 

However, that's just a thought and given the chance I probably wouldn't want to do it.

 

Otherwise, Gary Neville. I don't think I need to explain that one.

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Posted
However, that's just a thought and given the chance I probably wouldn't want to do it.

 

Even with no repercussions, as per the spirit of the OP?

 

How? Fist to the temple, followed by various insults about how he's not fit to adopt Harvey.

 

You'd have to be blind not to see that.

Posted

Some twat where I use to live, an absolute waste of space, oxygen and everyone's time.

 

Closed fist Haymaker, no talking or build up to it, just take him out while he's talking his usual self promoting shit and knock him down a peg or 20.

Posted
However, that's just a thought and given the chance I probably wouldn't want to do it.

 

Even with no repercussions, as per the spirit of the OP?

 

If by no repurcussions you mean no guilt and no 'you hit a woman' stigma, then by all means I'd have done it at that time. I wouldn't want to now, but somewhere in the back of my mind I wish I did!

 

Oh and I've never heard of that Robbie Williams thing, just Youtubed it. Wow.

 

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Posted

James Corden with a double handed spinning discus punch on live tv while he's telling a joke to camera

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Posted

Jamie Redknapp. Whilst he's playing on the Wii with his family. His kids would then put Wii Boxing on and repeatedly wallop his Mii until his television bleeds.

 

Graeme Souness would be watching on, bellowing with laughter.

Posted

chris_moyles_1289788c.jpg

 

A clean, crisp series of jabs right in front of all his swell celebrity chums resulting either in either a coma on his behalf or some severe dissapointment on mine.

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