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Faux CD

Keith Houchen

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Mentioned in the Irrational annoyances thread that I hate people claiming to have OCD when in truth they don't. So this thread is dedicated to FAUX CD, y'know, silly things that you can't do or have to do in case the world blows up or something. This isn't for proper diagnosed disorders, nor is it an attempt to out whacky each other, its more about little idiosyncracies we have. I will go first (I HAVE TO GO FIRST DAMMIT)


Crisps - I can't eat from a bag of crisps if the bag has been opened upside down, they taste different. Even Brannigans Ham and Pickle flavour (the best crisps in the world) would get thrown away if I opened the bag upside down.


Landline phones - I can't pick them up unless they have rang three times. I put this down to the old thing at work that if you answer your phone within three rings it gives the impression that you aren't busy.


Darts - Before I take my throw, I rub the tips of my fingers on both hands across my lips twice before blowing on each hand twice. Note - this is when stepping up to the oche, not for each individual dart.


Over to you pack of mentalists.

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I am very picky about washing my hands a fair bit, it gets worse when I'm tense so I sometimes have to dry them and re-wash them as they don't feel right. If i'm cooking I'll wash them after handling certain groups of ingredients just so they feel right.


I'm fully aware its a quirk of me, and I find it quite amusing or slightly frustrating depending on how much of a rush I'm in.


I don't like shoes being on or over anything else (stacked on those show racks or on top of each other for example), it just makes me very angry.

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The only thing I can think of right now is when I watch WrestleMania. This is the only time I hog the living room and watch it on the full HD telly. When I was younger and used to stay up for PPVs when this was also the only TV with Sky in the house.


Everything had to be tidy. If there was anything on the floor, or on the TV stand, they had to be put out of sight. It causes mass distraction.


Totally reminds me of this scene from Alan Partridge.


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In between using the toilet and washing my hands I can't touch anything except the tap and even for that I use my wrists to turn it on.


I used to have a odd habit of saving silly things, like empty limited edition crisp packets, every type of Yorkie bar wrapper (there was loads of diff ones at one point). I still have 6 empty cans on my shelf from the '24' Energy drink and the 3 original Relentless cans. Also have every kind of Star Wars soft drink packaging from about 1999. I've broke out of that now before I became a hoarder.


I always use my shirt over my hand to open the back door so I don't touch the handle when letting the cat in or out.


If I eat a box of chocs or summat, I always eat the ones I like least first and work up to the faves.


Thats about it I think.

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I can't have my tea when I get in from work until I've done all my little bits around the house. Whether it be ironing a shirt for the next day, getting a shave, tidying up, putting the washing on or any number of little fiddly household chores, I wouldn't dare sit down to have something to eat if I know I have 'stuff' to do afterwards. It just makes me uncomfortable. I think I got it from years back when I lived with old man after coming home from uni; if we had our tea together and then I got the ironing board out or something, he'd go crackers. As far as he was concerned, having your tea was the sign of the end of your working day and after you'd eaten it you shouldn't do a tap other than sit back and relax, or go for a pint. So I blame him.


I also realised a few months ago that when I turn the telly on, it has to be Sky box first, then the amp, then the telly itself. I remember accidentally knocking the telly on first and it tooks my hands a good ten seconds to work out what the hell to do next.


Another one is when I go to work:


Phone - inside left suit pocket

Wallet - inside right suit pocket

Keys - left trouser pocket

Coins - right trouser pocket


I daren't try another way.

Edited by Frankie Crisp
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Why not put coins and keys in the wallet? Or at least just coins.


I've had that moment where I've done something out of order of how I usually would and I have to think for a few seconds about what I'm doing because I'm not relying on muscle memory.

I've got quite a few keys and putting them inside the wallet would make it all lumpy and it's a decent wallet so I don't want to ruin it. There's also no space for coins as it's only got note and card slots/spaces. Saying that, even when I had other wallets in the past with plenty of space, I've been the same. Must've been something I did years ago and it's just stuck, to the point where anything else would now be weird.

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