Have you ever snapped your 'banjo string'

[Stylin_and_Profilin]

This may have previously popped up on here but it was definitely a long time ago if it was the case.

 

As the title suggests, has anyone had the unfortunate situation of the banjo snapping? Mine went when i was a student but apart from a couple of hours TLC and box of tissues later to stem the bleeding it passed off without much incident, more importantly the girl in question wasn't aware and to be honest i wasn't either untill i went for a pee. None the less not a particularly pleasant experience looking down when going to the loo and seeing blood all over your apparatus and surrounding areas.

 

On the whole that sounds like i got off quite lightly as i've heard horror stories of people having to trek home in light coloured trousers or jeans back to their place after similar incidents and others not being able to stop the flow of blood until three or fours hours later whilst having to go stealth mode back and forward to the toilet whilst still living with their parents

 

Anyone got any amusing experiences to share ? Anyone had it more than once? How long were you off the job for as a result?

[WU LYF 4 LYF]

Not done it myself, but it happened to a friend called Sam on holiday in Malia. Our other friend called Alex had slept with a girl the night before, and Sam was the type who loved to be the head of the group and the best with the ladies - he was pretty pissed off that someone had got laid on the holiday before him. Consequently, he decided to stay up all night until he fucked someone, he was legitimately pissed off about this at the bar.

 

Anyway, he ended up getting with this horribly ugly girl - there's bad, and then there's her, she was absolutely hanging, and he usually has pretty good standards, he's done modeling so pulls an array of beauties. The story was that she'd shagged someone else already the night before, though I don't know if that's true, it was 12PM by time she went off to her room with Sam.

 

The long and short of it is, he was out of it after a load of booze and a couple of pills, and was at that stage where you can get it up, but it takes forever to come. So he was pounding her especially hard to get it over with, and the next thing we knew, he was stumbling into our room boxers soaked in blood and going to the shower as he'd snapped his banjo. He has never lived the incident down since, I've never laughed so much as I did at that time.

 

* Names have been changed to respect the privacy of those involved - don't want the high courts issuing a gagging order

[Your Fight Site]

No. And I don't want to either

[tiger_rick]

Topic title makes me wince just at the thought. My eyes are watering.

[DJ Kris]

I personally haven't, however I know 2 people that have! The first, we'll call him Richard was simply having rather rough sex with his (now ex) Mrs and snapped it. I think he was a little concerned but not too much.

 

The second friend, we'll call him Johnny was a little more amusing. Johnny snapped his, we don't know how although we suspect he did it wanking, anyway he totally panicked and told his Mum, now for me that would be bad enough, but his Mum decided the best way to handle this delicate and slightly humiliating situation was by taking him to the hospital! Yep, she drove poor embarrassed Johnny to A&E. I believe he sat there for a couple of hours only to be looked at for about a minute before being send on his way.

[martyngnr]

Mine snapped when I was about 16. It didn't hurt too much but I'm not ashamed to admit that on sight of a blood-filled condom I cried like a baby.

In the end I had to go to the Doctor as it wouldn't heal and I needed an operation to sort my frenelum. Not fun.

[Ronnie]

It happened to my younger brother a few years ago. We were supposed to convene at my parents' house before setting off to my sister's for her engagement party and introduction to the new side of the family. My brother hadn't turned up on time and my mother was fuming, leaving him a couple of angry voicemails to condemn his selfishness. He eventually phoned back to say he would make his own way and request directions, to which he was told "I'm not giving you the address. You'll have to phone your sister." I don't know how that was supposed to help things, but he didn't argue the point. So, he phoned my sister and was given a torrent of abuse from her as well, since she and my mother had already been gossipping about his tardiness.

 

It was all for naught, really. Yes, he turned up ten minutes later than we did, but it was still before time. I gave him a nod and told him I'd picked up a card for him to sign, thinking that he wouldn't have had time to get one. Off we went to my car to pick it up.

 

- "I suppose I'd better tell you why I'm late."

 

- "I know why you're late, mate", winking in the direction of his girlfriend.

 

- "No, it's not that. Well, yeah, we 'ave, but ... Well, put it this way; I've been 'avin' two stitches put in me nob!"

 

It turns out that the poor sap had twanged his banjo a few hours before, pissing blood everywhere. Now, my brother is quite manly in his approach; he wouldn't let another guy touch his cock if it were the last thing sticking out of quicksand, and so he flat-out refused to go to the hospital. His girlfriend got him to agree to get as far as McDonald's; if it stopped bleeding by then, she'd let him go about his business but if not ..."

 

All seemed to be going well. The bleeding seemed to have stopped, the pain subsided, so he figured he'd go into the cubicle to see how his fella was bearing up. He made the mistake of touching his banjo, it immediately shifted out of the way, and he was inundated with blood once again. A taxi was called and he headed off to the hospital, the old chap swathed in McDonald's serviettes.

 

He hobbled into reception, where his misery was soon to be compounded, since the receptionist was placed in a booth behind some sort of glass. As a result, my brother's embarrassed, mumbled "I've cut my foreskin" was met by a loud "I'm sorry, sir. Could you speak up?" This played out again, leading my uncomfortable, ill-tempered brother to near-enough shout in frustration "Look! I've about fuckin' 'alf-Jewed meself, alright?!"

 

They took him through whereupon he had to have the aforementioned stitches put in. Whilst there, my mother called and, perhaps smartly, he elected not to answer but instead wait for her to leave a message. Of course, these were angry things in which his character was called into question at the same time as a doctor was jabbing about his cock with a needle.

 

Still, he made it there in the end and saw the silver lining to a particularly miserable cloud: "At least the fucking things are dissolvable."

[Quentin]

I did it when I was about 18. I'd got together with a girl and we were just at it like rabbits. Then one sunny Sunday afternoon we went for a quickie before her mum came to pick her up and I felt a PING kind of feeling. I kept going because I'm hardcore like that but it got pretty painful. I pulled out and the rubber was just full of blood. I freaked out and she started crying. I ran off to the bathroom and got in the shower to clean the blood and survey the damage. There was just a broken strand left that wouldn't stop bleeding. While I was considering going to hospital because the blood just kept coming, her mum pulled up outside and parped the horn. She just about stopped bawling and left still shaking and hyperventilating and I was left bleeding to death from the cock. All I could think was that I didn't want to be found dead this way. I wrapped a damp flannel round my meat to stop the bleeding and tried to calm down checking it occasionally. It stopped eventually and I just prayed that I wouldn't get a boner any time soon.

 

After about a week of playing it safe and trying to resist the urge to fuck my constantly up for it teenage bird, I moronically decided it had been long enough and tried to have a go on her. Well obviously I ended up in the same situation again (albeit slightly more prepared though incredibly frustrated this time). I decided it would be best to take a solid month off which at that age, with the offer on tap the way it was, was absolute agony.

 

My comeback was spectacular in case you were wondering. And ever since, there has been no worry of it happening again. It doesn't grow back or anything. You can stretch it a much as you want. No bother.

[Slapnut]

I've done it, it's not that bad, just fucking scary. I didn't even notice at first. I felt a little bit of a sting and thought it was "normal" sex pain (if there's such thing). It was only when I turned the light on and noticed the blood I started to put 2 and 2 together. So much blood...

 

One thing I did notice though was that my dick shrank for about a week, I'm assuming out of shock or something.

 

Worst thing about it was that it was on holiday with the in-laws who happened to be in the next room. That was fun.

[King Pitcos]

I don't think I have, although I once caught what felt and looked like a nasty STD once, without having sex. I'd had about four wanks in the day, which seemed to have irritated something. Then I was in bed with a girl on the night and though we didn't bang (come on, I like wrestling), at one point she climbed over me and landed knee-first on my penis. I was in horrendous pain for about two weeks solid, and the end of my nob had doubled in size. It hurt to move, it hurt to piss, it hurt when it touched any kind of fabric, it hurt when it touched air. Eventually I started spraying Savlon on it and it did go back to normal over time.

[The Reverend]

Topic title makes me wince just at the thought. My eyes are watering.

 

Shit - me too! I can't even read this. Got my legs crossed even thinking about it!

[patiirc]

Nope and other than whats on here, dont know anyone who has either Is it a common thing then?

[d-d-d-dAz]

I have.

 

What made it worst was that the 'injury' happened during the first innings of a dirty weekend. I'd spent an absolute fortune on a hotel, we'd been out for a meal which cost, again, a fortune and then when we got back to the room I was so determined to get my moneys worth (...so to speak) that I got a little over enthusiastic.

 

It goes without saying that with this particular 'injury' a short spell on the sidelines is required, so after spending a fortune on a hotel, and a fortune on a nice meal we spent the evening in the room watching Austin Powers 'The Spy Who Shagged Me' (Yeah, fuck off irony) and going to bed at a reasonable hour.

[digforvictory]

I've done it, it's not that bad, just fucking scary. I didn't even notice at first. I felt a little bit of a sting and thought it was "normal" sex pain (if there's such thing). It was only when I turned the light on and noticed the blood I started to put 2 and 2 together. So much blood...

 

One thing I did notice though was that my dick shrank for about a week, I'm assuming out of shock or something.

 

Worst thing about it was that it was on holiday with the in-laws who happened to be in the next room. That was fun.

 

Fucking hell that image is terrifying. I'm going to live my life now in constant fear of it happening to me.

 

I don't know what it's called but I too have experienced the little sting when peeing after sex so you're not alone. I mean it might be a serious problem and we're both fucked but at least you're not alone eh?

[Your Fight Site]

I'm going to say it before any one else does: foreplay is the key.