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Kidz r dum lol


Devon Malcolm

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No rape confessions please.

 

When I was REALLY young (probably about 23 - not really, maybe around 6 or 7) I thought that the world used to be black and white. When I saw The Wizard Of Oz for the first time, that bit where it all goes colourised? I thought that's when the world became colourised :(

 

The penny dropped though when I watched Laurel & Hardy's Saps At Sea and they tried to feed that convict red paint as a tomato ketchup substitute. So it really is true about films and the effect they can have on impressionable children :angry:

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One day me and my brother were told to clean up our room (I think I was 7 or something) and I refused saying I wanted to play, my brother (10 then) said 'Okay, we'll play tidy up boys, we have to put all the toys in the boxes and put them in the cupboard and who does the most wins'. Technically I won.

 

I could never spell 'because' until I was about 11, so my friend use to tease rotten. That was until he stood up when we were 10 and asked 'How do you spell 'a'?' he didn't have much to tease me after that.

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I though any player in a football team was allowed to handle the ball in their own penalty area. I only found out it was against the rules when I caught a shot in the middle of my first game for the school team. With some pride. Cue laughter from the touchlines from everybody apart from my Dad. That was around the same time that, in an attempt to be different/cool/fucking odd, I decided to support Crystal Palace. Junior school was a bit rough for me.

 

Also, up until I was about 8 I never associated the spoken word sandwich with the written word sandwich. Until the penny dropped, each time I saw it written down I always thought it referred to a witch who lived near the beach.

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I used to think that Dad's Army drew it's name from the fact that my dad once served in the home guard regiment whose misadventures were chronicled so genially by the series. This was definately a strange case of infantile Orwellian double-think, as I was quite aware that the characters on screen were played by actors and that the events being portrayed were fictionalised for comedic effect.

 

Similar bouts of double-think were responsible for my believing that my uncle literally was Vic Reeves rather than just an enthusiastic fan who quoted his catchphrases regularly, and that our car was actually driving over the top of the Runcorn bridge whenever we drove across it despite my being able to see that the tires of our car were in contact with the road's surface simply by looking out of the window.

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Similar bouts of double-think were responsible for my believing that my uncle literally was Vic Reeves rather than just an enthusiastic fan who quoted his catchphrases regularly, and that our car was actually driving over the top of the Runcorn bridge whenever we drove across it despite my being able to see that the tires of our car were in contact with the road's surface simply by looking out of the window.

:laugh: Wasn't just me then.

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I had a pair of black and white striped PJ's that I used to call my "Refugee pyjamas".

 

I used to get the words "Bastard" and "Custard" mixed up, being a 6 year old asking for a "Bowl of bastard, please" at the school canteen will get you in trouble fast.

 

And looking back at the names of my teddy bears I've realised I was probably a mong in my youth, I had ones named "Rib", "Cupboard", "Wardrobe", "Iron", and "Keith", even BritWres stars would laugh at how stupid those names are.

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And looking back at the names of my teddy bears I've realised I was probably a mong in my youth, I had ones named "Rib", "Cupboard", "Wardrobe", "Iron", and "Keith", even BritWres stars would laugh at how stupid those names are.

Keith is a lovely name, for mediocre 80's footballers.

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I too thought the olden days were in black & white. :(

 

Oh no :( Maybe there are others like us out there?

 

One of my flatmates confessed to this a few nights ago. I asked him about it and he said he thought humans just evolved to be able to see things in colour.

 

When I was younger, I was vaguely aware of goths and I was fairly sure that all goths killed themselves in their teenage years. Since you very rarely see/saw adult goths walking around, I thought it must be true.

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I too thought the olden days were in black & white. :(

 

Oh no :( Maybe there are others like us out there?

 

I'm another one. I remember asking my Nan what it used to be like when everything was in black and white.

 

Maybe we should all get black and white avatars to show solidarity in our juvenile idiocy :(

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