KFR42 Posted June 3, 2009 Share Posted June 3, 2009 That "nervous wreck" one is gold. Haven't heard that before. Â Seriously? I'm shocked theres anyone over the age of 5 who hasn't heard that joke. Its right up there with why did the chicken cross the road for well known classic gags. Except this one is actually funny, unlike the chicken one. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Lion_of_the_Midlands Posted June 3, 2009 Paid Members Share Posted June 3, 2009 Whats the worst thing an assistant in a grenade shop can say to a customer?  Can I have your PIN please?  Stop stealing the crap puns from the advert on Talksport.  What do you get if you cross the Atlantic Ocean with a French Airbus  <-- click on 'spoiler' to show/hide the spoiler About Half Way  [close spoiler] ");document.close(); Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Barrington Posted June 3, 2009 Share Posted June 3, 2009 A man shipped from from Iraq was waiting for news from the doctor about the condition of his injuries. The doctor walks in and asks "do you wnat the good new or the bad news first?" The soldier replies "The bad news so I have sonething to look forward to hearing" "Ok, the bad news is we have to amputate your left leg" "Well what good news could there possibly be" To which the doc replies "I've just won the fucking lottery" Â What can be white or black and goes up and down in a baby's cot? A paedos ass Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PunKer Posted June 4, 2009 Share Posted June 4, 2009 So Micheal Jackson has now got skin cancer... Â Everyone now! Don't blame it on the sunshine......... Â that joke made me lol in the middle of a very busy pub Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members CoreyVandal Posted June 4, 2009 Paid Members Share Posted June 4, 2009 When is it bedtime in Michael Jacksons house? Â When the big hand touches the little hand.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Just Me Posted June 4, 2009 Share Posted June 4, 2009 If you get an email from the Department of Health, advising not to eat tinned pork due to the risk of swine flu, ignore it. Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â It's just spam. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members seph Posted June 4, 2009 Paid Members Share Posted June 4, 2009 I'm not saying Lindsay Lohan has any infections, but she gave blood last month and within a week they called Dustin Hoffman. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pete_the_treat Posted June 4, 2009 Share Posted June 4, 2009 What do you call a footballer with a pair of curtains for his backside? Â Â Ces Fabric-ass! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Arch Stanton Posted June 4, 2009 Paid Members Share Posted June 4, 2009 If you get an email from the Department of Health, advising not to eat tinned pork due to the risk of swine flu, ignore it.              It's just spam. Now THAT'S a joke! Awesome. I can't believe I haven't heard this yet. It's just a shame that now that the Swine Flu hysteria has died down it's almost a little too late to start spreading it around. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Keith Houchen Posted June 16, 2009 Share Posted June 16, 2009 Ah well, it didn't take long. Â What have Mitsuharu Misawa and Barrymore's mate Stuart Lubbock got in common? They both got battered to death in the ring. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FanboyMPW Posted June 16, 2009 Share Posted June 16, 2009 what has eight legs and four cunts? Â ..................... nickleback. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Au Posted June 16, 2009 Paid Members Share Posted June 16, 2009 Ah well, it didn't take long. What have Mitsuharu Misawa and Barrymore's mate Stuart Lubbock got in common? They both got battered to death in the ring. Just saw this and thought "Er... What?". Then I clicked over to the main forum.  Lame Didn't expect to come back from the weekend to find that out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Barrington Posted June 16, 2009 Share Posted June 16, 2009 How'd u make a Haervey Wallbanger? Â Have Jordan move the furniture. Â Jordan was clearing out some of Peter Andre's things from the shed. She yells 'What do you wanna do with your spade' To which he replies 'Fuck off he's Dwight Yorke's not mine' Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members herbie747 Posted June 16, 2009 Paid Members Share Posted June 16, 2009 A man goes into a pet shop, puts a bomb on the counter and shouts "You've got one minute to get out before the bomb goes off"Â A tortoise in the back shouts, "You cunt!" Â I LOL'd, legit. Very good! Â Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FanboyMPW Posted June 16, 2009 Share Posted June 16, 2009 me too, not for the fact it was a tortoise, just because its got the word cunt in it Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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