Paid Members Au Posted May 29, 2009 Paid Members Share Posted May 29, 2009 Police have finally admitted they got it wrong in the shooting of Jean Charles de Menez. It was his naughty brother Dennis they were after. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Almighty Rod Posted May 29, 2009 Share Posted May 29, 2009 Police have finally admitted they got it wrong in the shooting of Jean Charles de Menez. It was his naughty brother Dennis they were after. Was about to post this, amazing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators Chest Rockwell Posted May 29, 2009 Moderators Share Posted May 29, 2009 That made me laugh... and then I realised that it doesn't work so well if you spell his surname correctly and I was upset. I can't go around using a factually incorrect joke! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
d-d-d-dAz Posted May 29, 2009 Share Posted May 29, 2009 No idea if i've posted in this thread but, still, these give me many a laugh when i've had a few... Â How do you get a child off of a swing...? Â <-- click on 'spoiler' to show/hide the spoiler ...Twat it in the face with an axe. Â [close spoiler] ");document.close();Â Â Â Â Â Why does Rupert The Bear wear yellow trousers? Â <-- click on 'spoiler' to show/hide the spoiler because he's a massive cunt. Â [close spoiler] ");document.close();Â Â Â Â Why do you put a baby in a blender feet first? Â <-- click on 'spoiler' to show/hide the spoiler ...so you can look it in the eyes whilst you masturbate. Â [close spoiler] ");document.close();Â Â Â Â Â Â And, here's a bonus, fresh-today joke for everyone; Â What's brown and twiggy? Â <-- click on 'spoiler' to show/hide the spoiler A 60's pop-culture figure that has just been seriously shat on. Â [close spoiler] ");document.close(); Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kendal mint cake Posted May 29, 2009 Share Posted May 29, 2009 Wonderful jokes for a wannabe pig... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lancastrino Posted May 29, 2009 Share Posted May 29, 2009 A Bus pulls up at a stop and a British guy tries to get on Paki driver says "Sorry - I'm Jampak phul" British guy says "I don't care what your fucking name is. Let me on you stinking piece of shit!!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Emperorseb Posted May 29, 2009 Share Posted May 29, 2009 D is for Lysdexia Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Barrington Posted May 29, 2009 Share Posted May 29, 2009 An Irish family were found frozen to death outside of a cinema one December. They were lining up for 'closed for three weeks' Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
uncle mick Posted May 29, 2009 Share Posted May 29, 2009 welder needed in manchester. there is a double decker needs it's roof welding back on. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KingOfMetal Posted May 29, 2009 Share Posted May 29, 2009 Whats at the bottom of the ocean and shakes? Â A nervous wreack Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Carbomb Posted May 29, 2009 Paid Members Share Posted May 29, 2009 What did Bruce Lee want for Christmas? Â Â Â Â ATOYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tony B. Liar Posted May 30, 2009 Share Posted May 30, 2009 Arnold Schwarzenegger was dissapointed as he didnt get any eggs from the easter bunny this year. Â His assistant asks him, "Do you still like easter Arnold?" Â To which he replys... Â "Dont worry.... I Still Love Easter Baby" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SteelEdge Posted June 1, 2009 Share Posted June 1, 2009 Whats the worst thing an assistant in a grenade shop can say to a customer? Â Can I have your PIN please? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Just Me Posted June 1, 2009 Share Posted June 1, 2009 I wouldn't expect an assistant in any kind of shop to ask that. You'd better call your bank if that seems like normal behaviour to you. Goodness me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members JLM Posted June 3, 2009 Paid Members Share Posted June 3, 2009 That "nervous wreck" one is gold. Haven't heard that before. Â dAz, you totally kill the hilarity of the Rupert gag by putting "massive" in there. The punchline has to be short and brutal so as to take the listener by surprise. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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