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How Much Fatter Will Russell Crowe Get?


Devon Malcolm

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I watched Unhinged last night and I thought he looked really tubby in The Nice Guys a few years ago but he's absolutely massive in this. I think the constant psychopathic sweat he had on during this was real. Pretty fun film, too.

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We need more fat a-lister movie stars. John Candy, John Goodman, John Belushi, all the fat Johns, staples of my childhood. Jack Black isn’t even proper fat. My kids need more fat role models, I can’t do it on my own.

Fat angry woman hating Russell Crowe just sold that film to me.

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Mr Danger bemoaning the lack of fatties reminded me of this weird essay on classic Warner Bros fat men in movies I read a while ago, I remember it being bizarre and fetishistic about these obese middle aged actors from black and white films.

http://danagioia.com/essays/film-and-music/warner-brothers-fat-men/

 

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Russell Crowe has all of a sudden remembered his Taid came from Wrexham, and he's bumming us on twitter. So he's a slim handsome and even tempered gentleman.

 

Until he doesn't invest. Then fuck him, fuck his poetry and fuck 30 odd foot of grunts. He wasn't even good enough to be in fucking Pugwall. He's a waste. 

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6 hours ago, Devon Malcolm said:

I watched Unhinged [] he's absolutely massive in this. I think the constant psychopathic sweat he had on during this was real.

Do you think he took the role cos he got to sit down in a car for almost all of it? He probably had a sack of pies on the passenger seat.

 

One thing I enjoyed in the film was from what I remember 

Spoiler

He does outlandish stuff like kill people in broad daylight in busy places, things which would be too indiscreet for even the most hardened horror movie killer.

I liked the explanation as to why he does such unsubtle convoluted attacks without fear of getting apprehended, killed or any kind of reprisal, it was that he just doesn't give a shit.

 

 

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I actually talked about that a little bit in the review I did for it on Letterboxd:-

https://letterboxd.com/settingsun/film/unhinged-2020/

It definitely gives it a sharper edge than most of these sorts of things.

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