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Make the most uninspiring WrestleMania possible


HarmonicGenerator
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... using the current WWE rosters.

They’ve got loads of mega talented wrestlers these days, but they’ve also got some cack ones (or at least some very dull and boring ones). Use this lower card to make a tedious WrestleMania.

I would find the following hard to watch.

Jinder Mahal vs Tye Dillinger in a No Countout Match for the WWE Title

Alicia Fox vs Tamina for the Women’s Title

Mike Kanellis vs Sin Cara in a Hair vs Hair match.

Curt Hawkins vs Zack Ryder, no stipulations.

No Way Jose vs Sam Gradwell representing NXT UK

The Colons vs The Ascension for the Tag Team titles

Forgotten Sons fight each other in an NXT showcase Triple Threat match

Dana Brooke vs Sonya Deville

Baron Corbin vs Mojo Rawley, Submission match.

 

Show goes 6 hours. Beat that!

Edited by HarmonicGenerator
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Nia v Tamina (60 minute Iron Woman match)

Mojo v No Way Jose (Falls count anywhere)

The Ascension v The B Team (2 out of 3 falls)

Mike Kanellis v TJP (for the US & IC belt)

Baron Corbin v Zack Ryder (no time limit, for the WWE World and Universal title)

spoiler!

match goes 435 minutes, 56 secs and turns into an empty arena match 1 minute in as all the fans walk out. WrestleMania run time clocks in at a grand total of 12 hours, 37 minutes. Available on home video release on 8 VHS tapes!!!

 

 

 

 

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PRE-SHOW

Andre The Giant memorial battle royal (winner: Nia Jax)

The Revival (c) vs. Baron Corbin & Drew McIntyre for the RAW Tag Team Championships (winners: Corbin & McIntyre)

Mojo Rawley vs. EC3 (winner: Rawley)

Curt Hawkins vs. Zack Ryder (winner: Ryder)

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

MAIN CARD

Shane McMahon & The Miz (c) vs. Rusev & Shinsuke Nakamura for the SmackDown Tag Team Championships (winners: McMahon & Miz)

Finn Balor vs. Bobby Lashley (winner: Lashley)

The Usos vs. Heavy Machinery (winner: n/a - double count-out)

Asuka (c) vs. Lana for the SmackDown Women's Championship (winner: Lana)

R-Truth (c) vs. Tye Dillinger vs. Randy Orton for the United States Championship (winner: Orton)

Becky Lynch vs. Ronda Rousey with Triple H as the Special Referee (winner: Rousey via submission, but Lynch doesn't tap out)

Daniel Bryan (c) vs. Sheamus for the WWE Championship (winner: Daniel Bryan)

Brock Lesnar (c) vs. Braun Strowman for the Universal Championship (winner: Lesnar)

Ruby Riott (c) vs. Charlotte Flair for the RAW Women's Championship (winner: Charlotte)

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Pre-show:

Women’s battle royal – won by Nia Jax. It’s a 45 minute battle royal, which ends with Nia and Tamina going at it for 35 minutes, trying to eliminate each other.

Main show:

Bobby Lashley vs Mojo Rawley – won by Bobby Lashley

Bobby Lashley vs Tye Dillinger – won by Bobby Lashley

Comedy Interlude: Dolph Ziggler does a 30 minute stand-up comedy slot about his interpretations of modern life. And isn't allowed to mention wrestling. Or cosplay Motley Crue as he does it.

Bobby Lashley vs The Ascension – 1vs2 Handicap match. Won by Bobby Lashley.

Bobby Lashley vs Baron Corbin – won by Bobby Lashley

Musical interlude – Michael Buble plays a selection of his greatest hits. Bobby Lashley duets on one of them.

Women’s title: Dana Brooke vs Becky Lynch – Brooke wins in 30 seconds, via cheap roll-up. Special referee – Bobby Lashley

Bobby Lashley vs Curtis Axel

Main event for the WWE & Universal title:

Bobby Lashley vs Jinder Mahal, in a special Iron Man, Falls Count Nowhere match in which it’s only possible to win if your opponent is intentionally DQ’ed.

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The crazy thing is it’s possible to book a fairly underwhelming card with top contenders...

Universal title: Brock Lesnar vs Braun Strowman

WWE Title: Daniel Bryan vs. AJ Styles

Raw Women’s title: Ronda Rousey vs Charlotte (w/Becky Lynch as guest referee) - more deflating than underwhelming, perhaps 

Smackdown Women’s title: Asuka vs Mandy Rose

IC Champ vs US Champ: Bobby Lashley vs R-Truth (battle of the brands)

Kurt Angle vs Baron Corbin

Seth Rollins vs. Dean Ambrose 

Randy Orton vs Rey Mysterio

Edited by RedRooster
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single 16 man gauntlet match featuring

Mojo Rawley

Jindar Mahal

Titus O Neal

Curt Hawkins

Baron Corbin

Zack Ryder

EC3

Dolph Ziggler

Each wrestler gets to enter twice so you get double Corbin.

Gets down to final 2 after 3 hours of Mojo and Titus. Double countout so Shane O Mac dances to the ring and jumps in declaring himself the winner 

Pre-Show 

No Way Jose vs a returning Adam Rose in a Conga off

Edited by Sheffbag
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WWE Universal Championship

Brock Lesnar and Paul Heyman vs Seth Rollins: Paul Heyman pins Seth to become Universal Champion

 

WWE Championship

Daniel Bryan vs Rowan: After two weeks Rowan decides he can't sustain the Eco Warrior Lifestyle. The crowd goes mild

 

WWE Smackdown Tag Team Championship

Miz and Shane vs Miz Sr. and Vince: Miz and Shane lose after Miz Sr threatens to curb stomp Baby Miz

 

WWE Raw Tag Team Championship

The Revival vs Braun and Nicky; Nicholas' younger sister. Just Nicholas in drag

 

WWE Hall of Fame Class of 2019

Jillian Hall

Duke The Dumpster Drose

Conrad Thompson

The cast of the A Team for that one time Guest Host of Raw

Headlined by

Hulk Hogan for his "apology" in 2018

 

WWE Raw Womens Championship

Ronda Rousey vs Charlotte Flair (Becky Lynch is suspended ....... above the ring in a shark cage)

The WWE Voice

This special one off hour of the Voice pits the best of WWE against each other.

Baron Corbin singing "Bodies" beats Elias singing "With my Baby Tonight", and Jinder Mahal singing "The Great Khali's Theme" 

 

WWE Smackdown Womens Championship and WWE Womens Tag Team Championship Unification Match.

Nia Jax vs Tamina Snuka (They win the Elminiation Chamber and then both pin Asuka on Smackdown. They argue over who is champion, and decide, after a month, to unify the three prestigious belts)

 

Intercontinental Champion vs United States Champion

Carmella vs Lio Rush. Neither Bobby Lashley or R-Truth can be bothered, so call in their seconds to fight for them. Carmella makes Lio tap out

 

 

 

The Rock makes his return to start the show!! We see him watering some plants, and we watch him sit and wait anxiously for 3 hours to watch the most beautiful sunflowers grow. The colours spell out THE ROCK!! He promptly burns them down. He then pins Dean Ambrose with the Peoples Eyebrow.

 

Pre Show

 

Triple H wins the Andre The Giant Battle Royal by throwing out Finn Balor.

Stephanie wins the "I'm erased from history" Battle Royal by eliminating every single woman in the division. Asuka is first eliminated.

Cruiserweight Championship

Buddy Murphy vs Lucha House Partie's piñata. The piñata wins clean.

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