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That's good. Sometimes a change of environment can be a big difference. I count myself lucky as I can almost pass myself off as normal sometimes, but then I'll find myself on the brink of tears in Tesco because I'm not as familiar with where everything is compared to Asda, or I'll be at work and suddenly my brain will start buffering. It'd still be nice to have a diagnosis so I can start trying to get some support without people thinking I'm on the blag. I've been waiting 2 years to even hear back from the Autism Service after I sent paperwork back to them. 

Sorry. Way to hijack a thread. 

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Ralphy.  The road to find a disease, condition, illness or something else to fit your past and determine your future is a fruitless endeavour in so much that you are looking for something to defi

I hate to get involved in such subjects, because I'm no expert on the matter but one thing is crystal clear. You are not the right person to be analysing your own behaviour or diagnosing it. 

I know that this would be a break of habit for you but I implore you to take notice of @King Coconut and actually listen to the advice you are given for once.

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18 minutes ago, jazzygeofferz said:

That's good. Sometimes a change of environment can be a big difference. I count myself lucky as I can almost pass myself off as normal sometimes, but then I'll find myself on the brink of tears in Tesco because I'm not as familiar with where everything is compared to Asda, or I'll be at work and suddenly my brain will start buffering. It'd still be nice to have a diagnosis so I can start trying to get some support without people thinking I'm on the blag. I've been waiting 2 years to even hear back from the Autism Service after I sent paperwork back to them. 

Sorry. Way to hijack a thread. 

Absolutely not. It's an Autism Thread!

 I have a similar experience to you. I am, other than being obsessive about things like films and Disney, I struggle with things, and never knew why. At University I was told I was dyslexic, but as I was in my final year, they wouldn't pay for a test, and I was a student with tight parents. I had struggled in school and college but always was able to managed to do well enough to move on. I eventually left Uni after 4 years with a third and a useless degree in media. As I have gotten olden, I have had people outside my family,  as well as my wife and mother in law tell me they think I am autistic and I just laughed it off. But having a son who is, and by learning more about what Autism is, I do believe I am, but on the low end. I finally managed to pluck up the courage to speak to my doctor last year after doing the 10 question test., and told me they couldn't refer me, as my local area don't have a program for adults, but when I speak to a councilor about my mental health issues they maybe able to refer me.   I am not even after any financial support, I just want to have some understanding as to why I am the way I am, and I do things in the way that I do. And if it isn't Autism, what is it?

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I'm fairly convinced I'm on the spectrum as well. Having learned so much about it because of my kid, I'm almost certain my dad had it, and it was likely quite prevalent on his side of the family as we've been told by various sources that they were all "a bit weird". My maternal uncle definitely has something, his son has Aspergers so I've got it on both sides. 

Once you learn about it, and when you realise it's in your family already, certain things about your past tend to crystallise a bit. Difficulties making friends at school, horrific reactions to change in circumstances, some unusual sensory stuff, just a constant feeling that your brain is wired slightly differently than everyone else because you always seem a bit out of kilter with them...

I think I've rote learned a lot of social interaction stuff so I can pass as somewhat normal, but it means biting my tongue and holding back my initial reaction to something because it almost always results in a strange look. And yet to me, it would be a completely normal way of responding. And I seem to have always found it easier communicating with "nerds" i.e. people on the spectrum as well. Atypical people tend to communicate better with other atypical people from what I've read. 

Sorry, I'm rambling a bit here. I just wanted to talk about it, I haven't told many people, but I feel a lot happier in myself and more comfortable with my past knowing that's "its a thing" for me. 

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Took 8 years of badgering medical professionals to get this far. As a kid I was referred to an occupational therapist because of my piss poor hand-eye coordination, but was home alone the day she came to see me and was told not to let anybody in, plus I was watching the last episode of Bodyline. Told a GP I was suspecting it and he said support for adults is laughable, sent me for CBT, even though I mentioned to the therapist what I thought was going on. 

Another GP said he thought I was on the spectrum, but that he wasn't going to send me for diagnosis because he didn't believe in "labels", and finally my current GP referred me to a psychiatrist about 2 and a half years ago. 

I've heard it can be between 2-6 years from paperwork going to the Autism Service and hearing back. My manager at work is good at dealing with/supporting me. I know my HR director will be as I've known him over 20 years. It'd just be nice to know. Less of a burden if that makes sense. 

Free bus pass would be nice, but I doubt it'll happen. 

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Well if it helps shortly after my sons diagnosis me and the mrs where taken for genetic testing. He has a shortened 5 and 15 which compounds his autism SPD and global delay 

On the results. the mrs was fine.........He got the 5 from me.

As hallicks says you start putting it together and suddenly remember walking on your toes most of your childhood, refusing to wear certain clothes because they where "itchy" obsessive collecting of things that then had to be put in a certain order. 

Im alot better now, however if things dont go the way they are supposed to even little things i find it very hard to deal with. 

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One of the things I struggle with is plans. The best example I have is Saturday is the day I normally am at home with the kids while the wife works. She’ll tell me when she’s coming back. If she comes back at a different time then what she told me I find it a massive annoyance when all it means is an extra 30 minutes of family time. But it’s because in my head I’ve worked out what time things are going to happen/be done, and that changes those plans. I know it’s stupid

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It's not stupid at all. I try and plan to be anywhere I need to be plenty early. I was over an hour early for a job interview once because I wasn't entirely sure where it was. Things not going exactly as planned can be a nightmare. I get anxious when I'm only going to be 10 minutes early to work instead of 20.  

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If anything you all have made me feel better by knowing I’m not the only one. So I appreciate you being so open. Threads like this and the mental health one are what I love about this place

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I am very obsessive about which way my clothes have to hang in the wardrobe and in what order, tshirts through to jumpers going from white through the light colours and then darker colours and finishing with black. 

I also find it hard to change plans last minute and like things to go exactly as I have planned them in my head. 

A few other traits I have are cleaning a lot. I left the house the other day and saw some dishes beside the sink, I got to the end of the street and had to turn back to go and wash them as I knew they would play on my mind. 

I am not sure if it is autism, ocd or something else but it can get me really down at times. 

Sorry to blurt that all out, I don't really know where else to put it. 

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Some things like OCD, anxiety, depression etc are symptoms of Autism, which is why it can be misdiagnosed sometimes. I like to be prepared for some things. At work I'm usually told a few days in advance before I have to lead a shift, just to make sure I'm ready. I've done it at the last minute, but it's generally better to be told in advance. 

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Almost had what's sometimes called a "meltdown" today at work. Was trying to process something, and doing a job I wasn't expecting to be doing. Needed to slow down and organise my head properly. Made it through. 

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27 minutes ago, jazzygeofferz said:

Almost had what's sometimes called a "meltdown" today at work. Was trying to process something, and doing a job I wasn't expecting to be doing. Needed to slow down and organise my head properly. Made it through. 

I’m very similar. If someone throws me a curveball I start to freak out. Trying to organise fitting that in with what I’m supposed to be doing already. Luckily it’s quiet season at work at the moment, so I have less to do so when it happens it usually doesn’t disrupt things. Well done for knowing how to sort yourself though

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28 minutes ago, Hannibal Scorch said:

I’m very similar. If someone throws me a curveball I start to freak out. Trying to organise fitting that in with what I’m supposed to be doing already. Luckily it’s quiet season at work at the moment, so I have less to do so when it happens it usually doesn’t disrupt things. Well done for knowing how to sort yourself though

It's quiet season for us as well, but I've been handed a massive task by my manager and our HR director. I know what needs doing. I just need to organise everything so it flows right.

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Bloody double post again. Sorry. I had to "do emotions" at work today. Suddenly I felt like I had to decide whether to appear normal psychologically and lumber around like a clumsy oaf, or walk around like a normal person and be unable to talk. I've also been agonising that I may have upset somebody by refusing a cup of their coffee in the wrong tone of voice, but don't want to text them about it for fear of appearing weird (more weird than usual). I've got tonight and tomorrow to try and get myself back into some semblance of coherence as I've got the next meeting about my onboarding project on Thursday morning. I'm currently listening to Sea Change by Beck, which is my meltdown album of choice, to try and calm my mind. 

Sorry again for the double post. 

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6 minutes ago, jazzygeofferz said:

Bloody double post again. Sorry. I had to "do emotions" at work today. Suddenly I felt like I had to decide whether to appear normal psychologically and lumber around like a clumsy oaf, or walk around like a normal person and be unable to talk. I've also been agonising that I may have upset somebody by refusing a cup of their coffee in the wrong tone of voice, but don't want to text them about it for fear of appearing weird (more weird than usual). I've got tonight and tomorrow to try and get myself back into some semblance of coherence as I've got the next meeting about my onboarding project on Thursday morning. I'm currently listening to Sea Change by Beck, which is my meltdown album of choice, to try and calm my mind. 

Sorry again for the double post. 

People shouldn't care about doubling posting. You can't wait for someone to respond. This place sometimes....

Anyway, sorry to hear about your day. At least you are aware you may have done something in the wrong tone. I find out when I am told I have. The likelyhood is everything is fine and no-one is upset. But if you feel you may have just text. Say something like sorry you may of been a bit of with you earlier, you just caught me at a bad time. That way it gives them a reason to respond and you can rest your mind a bit. That's what I would do anyway.

Do you have problems walking normally? I only recently found out I walk on my toes first rather then heal first and never knew there was a right way. But have been conscious about it ever since.

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