lying parents

[SuperBacon]

Reminded by Monkee in the "Things that scared you as a kid", when I was about 5 my Dad told me that my Uncle Dave was one of the werewolves in Michael Jacksons Thriller video. I told everyone I ever met as that was fucking cool obviously.

When I was about 16, he revealed that he had been lying and it was just a joke. For no reason.

 

And the cunt wonders why I hate him.

[Sergio Mendacious]

Lying cunt dads just trying to confuse their gullible kids should have their own circle of hell — my dad, weaving slightly from a few pints, telling me that one of the locals down the Traveller's Rest was a board member at Forest and we were a day away from signing Matt LeTissier, or some bloke called Roy from down the Robin Hood was actually Kendo Nagasaki. All of these events tend to blur together into one horrible showreel, where my dad tells me these lies, takes my 5 commemorative £2 coins out of a drawer for spending money and replaces them later with 10 pound coins, and then throws a spider at my face.

[Gus Mears]

some bloke called Roy from down the Robin Hood was actually Kendo Nagasaki. 

 

XD

 

My personal one of these is Dad telling me "my band turned down Dave Grohl as bass player in the 80's and I was the only one who wanted him to be involved". 

[Sergio Mendacious]

My dad's got a real problem with the lies — he's sprung some real whoppers on people right in front of my mum, with no warning and seemingly without any reason, and she's had to roll with it and back him up. He didn't go to university, except he told his coworkers at a dinner that he attended Cambridge — I don't know how she took that in stride.

[Your Fight Site]

My mum told me my cat had "ran away" after I moved out. My nana one day let slip she gave it away. Cheers, mum.

[cobra_gordo]

I had no idea until my mid-teens that when my mum and dad told me when I was 5 or 6 that my rabbit Snowy had "gone to the farm" that it had infact died and wasn't on some retreat for animals. Bastards.

[Guest]

I had no idea until my mid-teens that when my mum and dad told me when I was 5 or 6 that my rabbit Snowy had "gone to the farm" that it had infact died and wasn't on some retreat for animals. Bastards.

Not sure if serious, but that's a perfectly common and reasonable lie to tell a child that a parent thinks might be too young to handle the death of a beloved pet.

 

My sister on the other hand, nine years my senior, would never answer a question of mine with "I don't know."

 

And so it was that, when asked why this triangular "arrow" road marking was pointing against the direction of travel, she explained that it was to give lorries advance warning to start turning in.

 

[cobra_gordo]

 

I had no idea until my mid-teens that when my mum and dad told me when I was 5 or 6 that my rabbit Snowy had "gone to the farm" that it had infact died and wasn't on some retreat for animals. Bastards.

Not sure if serious, but that's a perfectly common and reasonable lie to tell a child that a parent thinks might be too young to handle the death of a beloved pet.

 

 

Totally serious. It was more the fact that I genuinely didn't know I'd been lied to until I was about 14.

[Guest]

Probably quite an awkward conversation to begin, six years after the fact.

[Kaz Hayashi]

There was a bloke over the road called Ray.

 

My dad used to tell my brother when he was 5 or 6 that he was his real Dad. I eventually wised up and realised it was my Dads sense of humour. So every year we send him a Birthday Card from Ray.

[sammorgz]

My step dad convinced me that Lily Savage was his sister. He must have had a fair giggle at my expense.

[drkopen]

As a little child my mother told me that pot noodle was bird food.

 

A lie I happily believed until my late teens.

[Sergio Mendacious]

My parents got sick of me waking up at 4am or earlier on weekend mornings (I wanted to see what weird cartoons were on at that hour — probably when I was aged around five), so they tried to lie to me that it was Friday morning. Didn't realize that would lead me to go back to bed, then get up and get ready for school three hours later.

[Keith Houchen]

I hated having to go to mass, my mum always made me go.  Whenever I said "Dad doesn't go though" after being given the eternal torture in Hell speech if I didn't go, he'd say that he went to St Mary's when we were at St Osburgs.  Was really annoyed with the fucker when I discovered St Mary's was really the Coundon pub.

[Bellenda Carlisle]

When I was really small my old man gave me a small spark plug from a car and told me it was an alien spaceship with the last of a tiny race of aliens living in it. They were protected in there but could never come out because they couldn't survive on earth. He said I was old enough to look after it now so I guarded with my life. He was well into Sci-fi and smoking weed which explains a lot, I believed it til I forgot about it because the bastard never told me the truth. I reminded him years later, he couldn't remember it but thought it was great.