lying parents

[Guest]

I like that one. Though he'd have had some explaining to do to your mum when you ran back into a burning building to rescue the helpless aliens in your bedside drawer.

[Surf Digby]

 

I had no idea until my mid-teens that when my mum and dad told me when I was 5 or 6 that my rabbit Snowy had "gone to the farm" that it had infact died and wasn't on some retreat for animals. Bastards.

Not sure if serious, but that's a perfectly common and reasonable lie to tell a child that a parent thinks might be too young to handle the death of a beloved pet.

 

How about when your parents tell you that the cat has run away, so you and your sisters spend an afternoon desperately searching the entire estate, with younger sister ending up crying because the cat is never found.

 

And then 15+ years later you learn that the cat never ran away. While we were out looking for it, it was "safely" sat in a cardboard box in the boot of my Mum's car as she was going to take it to the local shelter as she hadn't bonded with it.

 

Is that common and perfectly reasonable? Is it?

[Kaz Hayashi]

How about when your parents tell you that the cat has run away, so you and your sisters spend an afternoon desperately searching the entire estate, with younger sister ending up crying because the cat is never found.

 

And then 15+ years later you learn that the cat never ran away. While we were out looking for it, it was "safely" sat in a cardboard box in the boot of my Mum's car as she was going to take it to the local shelter as she hadn't bonded with it.

 

Is that common and perfectly reasonable? Is it?

Probably is to drkopen.. he believed that pot noodle was bird food until his late teens.

 

LATE TEENS

 

Thats probably the most disturbing thing in this thread.. apart from surfs cat shoe box horror.

[Guest]

And then 15+ years later you learn that the cat never ran away. While we were out looking for it, it was "safely" sat in a cardboard box in the boot of my Mum's car as she was going to take it to the local shelter as she hadn't bonded with it.

 

Is that common and perfectly reasonable? Is it?

Lying to protect a child's emotional state and lying to protect yourself from the judgement of said child are two different things, so you can reassure this hypothetical friend of a friend that no, not all mums are heartless cuntbadgers.

[Harry Wiseau]

right here's a thing. related to this topic as i'm the lying parent but I need advice - This morning as I was going to work my eldest boy asked if he could watch Gremlins as there is a Gremlins set in the new wave of Lego Dimensions packs and it's a Christmassy film. So I put it on and went to work (my wife and youngest are at home) then when I got to work she phones to say "had you forgotten about the bit where she says about her dad getting stuck up the chimney and that's how she found out there was no Santa?"  FUCK! Fuck fuckity fuck! he's 8 so I know a lot of people will say he should already know, and he probably does have an idea BUT he's a bit.. innocent(?) he's aspergers and can be younger than his age in certain aspects (while completely older than his years in many other ways and things he likes etc) but I know he won't say anything to his mom, it'll be me he says something to when he's in bed tonight, just after he's got me to get him some water. He didn't say anything during the film but he stores everything away and comes back to stuff later. knowing how he is I know that once he is sure of.. the thing nobody wants to admit is true, he'll be telling his little brother as soon as he's old enough to understand.

 

So I need to find a way of keeping the magic alive. I don't want to say yes he's real I was having a glass of port and a bit of cheese with him last night, but it would break my heart to have to say.. that thing to him four days before Christmas. I'm thinking that watching MIracle on 34th Street might go some way to helping but I don't know how or if i should address it otherwise.

[Kaz Hayashi]

Right, we (wife) have had this chat about what to say about Santa. I'm going to approach it like I will with god.

For the concept of tradition and the magic etc, but if the question is asked, I'll just say that some people believe it, some people don't, no one really knows for sure and nobody is right or wrong.

The people who dress up in in Aldi are specially chosen helpers also called Santa because the real one is busy getting the presents and sleigh ready.

 

As I say, I'm going to have the same chat about god at some point.

 

Also, can anyone honestly say when thinking back, when you found out he wasn't real were you actually heartbroken?

I've asked a couple of people and we all have said 'not really'.

I don't think gets are as bothered as we pretend they will be.

[Guest]

Tell him that the one present Santa needs at Christmas is something his elves can't make, and that's time. So lots of grown-ups try to make his job easier by dressing up like him and helping out. But none of them can ever be as good at it as the real Santa, so they often make mistakes like that girl's dad when he got himself stuck in the chimney. Only the real Santa can manage that part, obviously!

[Retro Red]

Tell him the film is set in a made up place where gremlins exist and Santa doesn't. Hopefully he might make the logic leap that since gremlins aren't real then surely everything they say in the movie is made up too. Worth a shot.

[Gus Mears]

I found out the Tooth Fairy wasn't real when my Mum got shitfaced and passed out on the sofa with my tooth and a pound coin next to her on the living room table. I then deduced than Father Christmas wasn't real either. Cheers Mum.

[The British Bushwacker]

My dad's best mates son once told me his Dad used to play for Manchester United despite his Dad looking like a helium filled Barry Gibb i believed it, My Dad nearly pissed himself when i told him, said the bloke would've had a job tying the laces in a pair of football boots and had never kicked a football in his life

[Harry Wiseau]

he's always know that the guys in the shops etc aren't the real ones, just guys that help out,and he's heard loads of songs etc that mention believing or not believing but Gremlins is the first thing he's seen that's explicitly stated "there's no such thing"

 

Tell him that the one present Santa needs at Christmas is something his elves can't make, and that's time. So lots of grown-ups try to make his job easier by dressing up like him and helping out. But none of them can ever be as good at it as the real Santa, so they often make mistakes like that girl's dad when he got himself stuck in the chimney. Only the real Santa can manage that part, obviously!

exactly, what was he thinking getting in the chimney in the first place?

 

Also, can anyone honestly say when thinking back, when you found out he wasn't real were you actually heartbroken?

it's not him that'll be heartbroken, it's me that'll have wobbly lip at having to say it out loud to him.

 

Tell him the film is set in a made up place where gremlins exist and Santa doesn't. Hopefully he might make the logic leap that since gremlins aren't real then surely everything they say in the movie is made up too. Worth a shot.

I like this, the way his mind works that could buy me a year or two extra magic.

 

excellent stuff chaps, I won't bring the topic up if he doesn't but i'll drop a couple of inspired nuggets into converstion over the next few days and hopefully Christmas shall continue to be magic, for one more Christmas at least!

[Guest]

It does make you wonder why they felt the need to put that line in the film at all. It adds nothing to the story and just makes it that bit less appropriate for its target audience.

 

Another example is the first of the modern Transformers movies, which contains a line explicitly referring to masturbation. Erm, what? Imagine sitting with your kid watching the big robot cars when suddenly that enters the dialogue. Plainly unnecessary, even if the current series does appeal to both young and old.

[Gus Mears]

Agreed, no need for this gratuitous sex and violence in kids films. I was appalled at the start of Toy Story 3 when Woody is cracking one out over a Kristy Canyon film.

[Guest]

Nominal determinism at its most foul.

[Mr.E]

My dad told me, when I was a kid, that if you unscrew your belly button your bum will fall off.

 

For a long time, I was petrified it'd unscrew by itself and my arse would fall off without me noticing. I also spent a long time wondering what noise it would make if it did fall off....like a meaty splat? or a hollow metallic clang?

 

Came to my senses before I reached my teens, but its a real random thing to tell a child. I've since passed on this lye to my daughter, who is also equally as confused by the whole situation.