Paid Members Gus Mears Posted October 28, 2016 Paid Members Share Posted October 28, 2016 Like most people, I generally keep a selection of fresh seafood dishes there. Lobsters in clam volute, sea bass with cabbage, the occasional red snapper. Otherwise I keep an ornate 19th century dining table in one pocket and a life sized marble bust of Zippy from Rainbow in the other. Never been a fan of sea bass. Not tried red snapper though. It's a bit shit in all honesty (snapper). Although dissing the sea bass is sacrilegious, I'm all about that bass. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members PunkStep Posted October 28, 2016 Paid Members Share Posted October 28, 2016 Sea bass is bloody lovely. Toadfish (not the fat goatee from Neighbours) is rotten, however. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Arn Anderson's Darb Posted October 28, 2016 Members Share Posted October 28, 2016 Like most people, I generally keep a selection of fresh seafood dishes there. Lobsters in clam volute, sea bass with cabbage, the occasional red snapper. Otherwise I keep an ornate 19th century dining table in one pocket and a life sized marble bust of Zippy from Rainbow in the other. Never been a fan of sea bass. Not tried red snapper though. It's a bit shit in all honesty (snapper). Although dissing the sea bass is sacrilegious, I'm all about that bass. Nicely done Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators Chest Rockwell Posted October 28, 2016 Moderators Share Posted October 28, 2016 Drugs, cash, the ticket for the coat check. Those are the only things I've ever put in that pocket. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators Astro Hollywood Posted October 28, 2016 Moderators Share Posted October 28, 2016 (edited) Hair ties. edit: no, not hair ties. Something cool. Bullets and crystal meth and rubber johnnies for my big penis. Edited October 28, 2016 by Astro Hollywood Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Scott Malbranque Posted October 28, 2016 Paid Members Share Posted October 28, 2016 Ian, I absolutely love you and all, but that was the most confusing, bizarre pedal I’ve ever had. I’ll just spoiler all this and declare it NSFW, because. Just know, throughout, you were on my mind, Ian, as the pressure of trying to establish – and maintain - a reasonable upright (using manners like nipple tweaking and draping a pair of the missus’ undercrackers over my snout) was fucking cruel. So last night, herself went to the pit. I said “Ah I’ll stay up for a bit and watch the transfer news on Sky Sports News”. It was the first thing that came to mind, and I’m lucky she wasn’t ball savvy and say “The window doesn’t open for another two months?” but she just said “Turn off the lights and don’t leave the doors open”. I left it about ten minutes and went out to the utility room. When your pots are gone and you’re creeping around, everything you do sounds so fucking loud and coarse, doesn’t it? Like, I was space walk tippy toeing through the kitchen, shushing myself at every movement and opening the utility room door sounded like I’d kicked a Rottweiler in the bollox. So, I went onto the forum and clicked on Ians XHamster link. It doesn’t take much to get me all plummed up, and I’m a very open minded man - and for all my many faults, I don’t think one of you could deny me that – but the (for want of a better word) opening few seconds of that scene in particular were joyless. It begins with what looks like a man trying to pull some kidney beans out of some damp pita bread, so that wasn’t the best start for me, and I’m a bloke who has wrenched the stomach out of himself to pretty Hispanic women. Some of whom have a bigger willy than me. I fell at the first hurdle and felt I let Ian, Chest, Billy Plops, Chokey, The Yashi, Stavo, down, so I had to key in Cherokee D’Ass Interracial White into the XHamster search string to fluff myself before hitting back, and continuing with the task to hand. Right, so after I got myself over the opening few seconds, I was greeted with the UK Dirt Icon that is that Mario chap – who’s also the image of our Houchey, so I had that to deal with on top of everything else - eagerly and happily using double digits on Bernard Mannings’ draped, dangling trench and stuffing said digits into her throat, which she found agreeable. I fucking wouldn’t, but she did. The bang/smell of Werthers didn’t cross my mind once, Ian. I could just practically smell putrefying trout. Immediately following Bernard Manning was a handsome gent bestriding and making progress on what I’d imagine the spawn of Ted Crilly and Sister Asumpta to look like. This sequence was confusing as I found the handsome gentlemans shaven bumcheeks more attractive than her, but I regained focus and carried on attempting to draw milt. I skipped a bit towards the end to see if there were any cowgirl sequences that lasted longer than the ten second one at around 4 minutes (which is not enough, as you’d be mid-stride and keep having to stop, rewind and your fingers are always too big for that poxy stream line so it goes back too far which is just frustrating), as focusing on badge is always a sure winner for me no matter who or what the subject, but she had an outy and it looked like she was sprouting a strain of nectarine from her badge which I couldn’t be dealing with. So after skipping forward to Bernard Manning jockeying Houchey and subsequently and frantically skipping back and forth throughout the video, I found my peace with the climax over the lesser of two evils’ chest, and emptied a two day build up all over my Quiksilver t-shirt. It was quite anti-climactic, much like this post, and I expected better of myself but maybe I’m more ageist than I thought, or I just haven’t found the right type of aged woman yet. As I was cleaning and disinfecting the area and shame, the video was still playing, and this made me laugh. Houchey and Bernard Manning post coitus: I rinsed the Quiksilver t-shirt in the utility room sink and put it in the washine machine. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members FLips Posted October 28, 2016 Paid Members Share Posted October 28, 2016 Wow that's his double. Commendable effort. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Gus Mears Posted October 28, 2016 Paid Members Share Posted October 28, 2016 Well done Scott, excellent work. I'm immensely proud and utterly disgusted at you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
King Coconut Posted October 28, 2016 Share Posted October 28, 2016 I'll be using Houchen and Manning myself. Glorious stuff! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ladiesman345 Posted October 28, 2016 Share Posted October 28, 2016 She's got a cracking pair of tits on her. No doubt about that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Gus Mears Posted October 28, 2016 Paid Members Share Posted October 28, 2016 Am I the only one seeing Homer Simpson's face when I'm looking at her jugs and Big Daddy-esque stomach? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators Chest Rockwell Posted October 28, 2016 Moderators Share Posted October 28, 2016 I fucking love you Scotty. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Lenin Posted October 28, 2016 Paid Members Share Posted October 28, 2016 Had to go home from work to get changed after a urinal disaster. Standing there streaming away and I thought "I'm going to crack a fart" so I gave it a wee push and the warmth that engulfed my back and legs was horrifying. First time in 11 years I've shat myself. Not a worse feeling in the world and I've only myself to blame. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members IANdrewDiceClay Posted October 28, 2016 Paid Members Share Posted October 28, 2016 More than lived up to the hype. Houchen's looks like many a British porn star. "It begins with what looks like a man trying to pull some kidney beans out of some damp pita bread" is my favourite line, possibly ever on this forum. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Undefeated Steak Posted October 29, 2016 Share Posted October 29, 2016 Didn't know where else to put this and it's a big comedown compared to Malbranque's beautiful story. Anyway, media buzzwords are bad at the best of times but their latest, "NotSpots" where people can't get phone coverage might be the worst yet. Doesn't even make sense. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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