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I don't understand why anyone is suprised that Reigns has turned into a smiley, happy loser of a babyface. WWE do this with all there top tier faces.

 

Rumble is in Philly yeah? The reaction Reigns will face there will make Batista's last year look like he was wrestling on Impact or something.

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Its a testiment to how unlikable people who write WWE are in real life that they think this is how a babyface should act. You only have to hear those ex-WWE writers interviews to know how they are mostly a bunch of smug, untalented cunts who blag their way through to make it sound as is nothing was their fault when writing for WWE.

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The writing in wrestling is pretty similar to the writing for Nickelodeon's babyfaces, I think. I don't know if that's because they're aiming for the same ages, but if you ever look at any of the teen live action sitcoms on there, Kenan and Kel or Drake and Josh or whatever, it's all the same kind of mugging and obnoxious non-jokes as WWE.

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Hey, it's Smackdown, and tonight I'm going to SUPER POSITIVE about EVERYTHING!

Show starts with Seth Rollins coming out with his goons to brag about manipulating John Cena into bringing back The Authority. He then asked for a ten bell salute for the careers of Erick Rowan, The Ryback, and dolph Ziggler. This wasn't in poor taste AT ALL!

Before the bell could strike ten times, he was interrupted by Roman Reigns. He did a STUNNING promo that wasn't at all embarassing, and the line, "suffering succotash!" didn't DEMEAN EVERY ONE OF US in any way. He then sent Rollins and his goons packing.

Kane then came out, looking spiffy in his suit and tie, and announced that Reigns would face Rollins and The Big Show in a handicap match tonight, unless Reigns could find anyone crazy enough to be his partner, warning that they'd face the consequences if they did.

Backstage, The Miz asked Kane if he would take The Dust Brothers out of their tag titles re-match with the Usos tonight. Kane agreed but Mizdow HILARIOUSLY spilled water on Kane and Kane withdrew his offer.

Hey. it's Adam Rose! He's fighting Big E again, since their original meeting on Raw sadly ended in a disqualification for Rose. Rose is accompanied by his Rosebuds, and also by Cesaro and Tyson Kidd. Cesaro has a t-shirt that says, "King of Swing", which is true. Tyson is wearing one which says, "Fact Dropper". This is also true.

Rose and Big E have a decent professional wrestling match, which Big E won with his finisher, the Big Ending. Kidd and Cesaro, or the Rosebuds, did not interfere. Clean finishes are the way forward for Smackdown in 2015.

After a commercial, we're back in the ring with The Ascension. They do another SIDE-SPLITTING promo, name-dropping The Powers Of Pain and the Road Warriors. Then they proceed to DESTROY two jobbers, who are again unnamed. As is my wont, I'll call them Fattoo & Pal. Fattoo got worked over good and took the Fall Of Man, while his Pal didn't even get in the ring.

Backstage, the Usos told Not Renee that those three guys getting fired on Raw was not fair, just like them having to defend their titles in a three-way. These things are, of course, EQUALLY UNFAIR.

I love women! And there's no more perfect WWE Diva for this show than Alicia Fox! She's so awesome she's a heel again for no reason after being a babyface for no reason for a while. She's VERSATILE.

She's fighting Naomi or, since she's wearing an Usos' t-shirt to the ring now, Mrs Uso. Mrs Uso has most of the match but Alicia Fox wins with her feet on the ropes for extra leverage. This feud MUST CONTINUE!

Bray Wyatt cut a talky and said he was wrong about Dean Ambrose, and that Dean is just like everyone else. He says he's going to win the Royal Rumble. I'D LIKE TO SEE THAT!

They announced Daniel Bryan would have his first match for a year on Smackdown next week, except that on the British feed they cut the audio for that bit and it DIDN'T SOUND ODD AT ALL. It certainly didn't sound like Michael Cole had fallen asleep mid-sentence! Good job!

Hey, it's the Usos! They're defending their tag titles against the Dust Brothers and Miz & Mizdow! Fresh match-ups would be nice but these guys REALLY know this match by now! It should be AWESOME!

It's actually not bad, and a cut above recent efforts by these teams. Mizdow got some ring time and the Usos won with a splash on Goldust.

After a commercial, Bad News Barrett was in the ring, and - to change things up - he said he had some GOOD NEWS! His good news was that he was the new Intercontinental Champion and that's he's going to win the Rumble! I'D LIKE TO SEE THAT!

He then called out Dolph Ziggler for a re-match but then remembered that Dolph had been fired and couldn't come out after all. That rascal, I bet he didn't forget AT ALL. Best of all, the production team decided to let this joke stand or fall on its own merits by not adding ANY REACTION FROM THE CROWD at all. Purity in sports entertainment!

Sin Cara came out for a match, and they went back and forth. Sin Cara - a masked wrestler rarely seen on the major shows but who wears a mask, thus hiding the identity of the person under that mask - won! The announcers speculated that this would set up a title match between Barrett and the masked Sin Cara, as Barrett DESTROYED Sin Cara after the match.

They aired some interviews from after Raw with the fired superstars. They all sounded TERRIBLY DISAPPOINTED but NOT ANGRY to be fired. I wish them luck with their future endeavours!

Hey, it's the main event! It's Seth Rollins and the Big Show, with the goons and Kane in attendance, versus Roman Reigns and a partner. Except, as the match is about to start, Reigns is on his own! I GUESS NO-ONE WANTED TO RISK IT!

Oh, what's that? Yes, it's Dean Ambrose! He's obviously feeling much better since Raw's DEVASTATING Ambulance Match, certainly well enough for a professional wrestling match!

They had an ACCEPTABLE match! And it ended well, with Roman Reigns pinning Seth Rollins, who must have been having an off-night seeing as how he is a CONTENDER for the World title in two weeks! Ambrose being thrown into the main storyline freshened it up, NOT THAT IT NEEDED IT!

Okay, enough of that shit. This was an Average Show. I actually DID NOT HATE IT, despite its obvious shortcomings. This is forming a pattern...

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Yeah, it's way too early to do any kind of Shield reunion thing. Especially unannounced on your B-show. But I dug the main event because of it so I'm not going to complain too much!

 

And, yeah, the IC belt should really be its own special, separate thing away from the main belt and those feuds. But, man, losing to guy in a mask, eh?

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What Linus said about Alicia Fox was spot on. The Divas division storylines and turns are now based on what happens on Total Divas rather than what happens on Raw/Smackdown. Total Divas is meant to be a backstage, behind the scenes reality TV show. I know it's mostly fixed but that isn't the point. I do get that it's their way of promoting the show but still if this was how things went down Sin Cara and Yoshi Tatsu would have had a few matches with Sheamus a few years back.

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Sin Cara beating Barrett was really fucking weird. He's largely just an NXT guy these days, plus he's shit and he's fat. I guess that does make his senton more devastating though.

 

On the whole SmackDown was actually pretty enjoyable this week. It's only about an hour long once you fast-forward through the ads, Raw replays and random vignettes you've seen before.

 

After The Ascension's promo in which they disrespected the Powers of Pain (a tag team from over a quarter of a century ago), Joey Styles Tweeted this recent photo of the team in which the two of them actually still look bigger, stronger, tougher and meaner than The Ascension do today...

 

B6_KvKaCcAENgH3.jpg

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A sort-of Shield reunion? I don't know whether to be happy or confused that they'd do that.

 

Reigns and Ambrose never stopped being mates. Prior to Roman's injury, his pseudo-feud with Rollins (not to mention his two hundred TV matches with Kane) was about getting revenge for the cinder block thing.

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After The Ascension's promo in which they disrespected the Powers of Pain (a tag team from over a quarter of a century ago), Joey Styles Tweeted this recent photo of the team in which the two of them actually still look bigger, stronger, tougher and meaner than The Ascension do today...

 

B6_KvKaCcAENgH3.jpg

 

 

LMAO, they look 100% better than  The Ascension how old are they now?

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