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Movies that make your balls swell (sorry ladies)


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Showdown In Little Tokyo is ace, Branquey. Pitcos might come along and tell you otherwise but he has terrible taste in films. Cary Hiroyuki Tagawa is an absolute hero.

 

This. Lundgren is never better. Watching him throw around chinamen is a beautiful sight to behold, especially the baldie one who shows up as a villain whenever an oriental villain was needed around that time. Good dialogue and chemistry between the two leads, and the added bonus of Tia Carrere's lady barnet which looks Carlos Valderrama was dunked head first into a barrel of tar.

 

On the Seagal front, i couldnt choose a favourite between Nico, Hard to Kill, Marked for Death and Out for Justice, but echo the love for Forsythe, absolutely BRUTAL villain. I'm pretty sure it also has the most expletive laden single line of dialogue i've ever heard when Seagal refers to him as a "piece of shit, fucking pussy, asshole".

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I've not seen it since the 90's and some would say its a rip off but Surviving the Game starring Ice T was always a good companion piece to Hard Target with similar themes of hunting homeless folk for fun, only released a year apart as well!

 

It's better than Hard Target. I championed this in Gladstone's 90's film thread (I think?). Rutger Hauer > Lance Henriksen.

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I've not seen it since the 90's and some would say its a rip off but Surviving the Game starring Ice T was always a good companion piece to Hard Target with similar themes of hunting homeless folk for fun, only released a year apart as well!

 

It's better than Hard Target. I championed this in Gladstone's 90's film thread (I think?). Rutger Hauer > Lance Henriksen.

 

Haven't seen this yet, but I will do soon.

 

Going back a bit, obviously Sam Peckinpah's films were manlier than hell although I think most of his films are rubbish except Straw Dogs.

 

But I watched one called The Outfit last weekend with Robert Duvall and Joe Don Baker. VERY manly and really excellent.

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I really need to see Surviving the Game with that kind of praise.

 

First time I saw Showdown in Little Tokyo was on the schoolbus home! Our driver didn't give a shit - anything to keep us quiet. Unfortunately some girl complained that her little brother should not be watching such explicit stuff and we didn't get to watch cool movies after that. I couldn't have been more than 10 at the time myself though, so she probably had a point..

 

 

Oh, also - chalk me up as another fan of Lundgren's Punisher.

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With the praise I've heaped on' Surviving the Game' I fear I've set expectations too high? Then again, this is the thread where people are raving about Steven Seagal so maybe not.

 

Never bothered with any of the subsequent remakes, lets face it, they arent gonna touch it. Only
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Promise me you're not saying that as if your ashamed to say it. I fucking LOVE Lundgren's Punisher.

 

Glad that The Punisher has been bought up as it was cracking film, best of the two that I've seen

 

As Dolph has been mentioned then Dark Angel has to be mentioned. Super flying discs, bad ass aliens and a cop that plays by no rules. He can beat super strength bounty hunters who have chased each other all over the shop. That's pretty bad ass!

 

EdIt : Dead Mike answered what I was going to ask.

 

Double Edit. Would Darkman qualify for this thread?

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Haha. Don't worry - I've seen Ice T act before.. I've got no unrealistic expectations.

 

 

Speaking of which.... New Jack City baby! Classic. I know I've seen some other films made by and/or starring Mario Van Peebles, but can't remember the names of any of them. Did he make anything else that is worth watching?

 

 

And while I'm thinking about Wesley Snipes, anyone want to do a little write up that does justice to Demolition Man? In my Top 10 alltime films, that one.

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The Punisher is bloody brilliant. I too bought that from a local bargain bin at a second hand shop and was very pleased with it. To add to the film Big Sexy makes an appearance with his terrible short hair.

 

Talking about Steven Seagal. I thought Exit Wounds was his best film. DMX and Eva Mendez were great additions to the film to.

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I maintain that Taken is one of the most satisfying films ever made. Just about everything you want to happen in the film happens, and to the person it's supposed to happen to. My favourite bit is when the sleazy cunt who picks up the young lasses for the traffickers with his patter about how the taxis are 'so damn expenseev' gets punched in the ribs so much that he jumps in front of a lorry. Statham has been trying to make a proper old school 80s action film for ages, but Neeson nailed it first time (the less said about the second time, the better, obviously). And it only takes about an hour and twenty minutes.

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Taken is pretty perfect.

 

But that said, whilst you mention Statham I have to jump in and defend Crank. Crank was so refreshing at the time. Really original, short, punchy, fast paced, funny and well directed.

 

The only tragedy of it is that I keep expecting Statham to be good because of it but he's not. He's not terrible, I'd happily take him in a major secondary role / buddy action movie. But as the main lead he can't quite cut it for me.

 

Anyone trying to talk to me about The Transporter can fuck off.

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I know I've seen some other films made by and/or starring Mario Van Peebles, but can't remember the names of any of them. Did he make anything else that is worth watching?

 

The two that spring to mind are -

Posse - MVP's black western that I only watched because Big Daddy Kane was in it & HHC magazine were bumming it on release

and

Full Eclipse* - A wonderfully moronic action/sci-fi/horror starring MVP & Patsy Kensit where they play cops (I think?) who have been genetically modified with werewolf DNA & therefore have mad skills which translate to bad wire work & wearing yellow contact lenses.

 

 

 

*just cause I remember this shit doesn't equate to an endorsement.

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Jason Statham is a superb action film star and The Transporter is a great franchise. He's pretty much single-handedly keeping the Hollywood action film alive at the moment. Both Crank films are absolutely great and shot through with a creativity you don't get in many films of any kind. He's done great for himself, the lad.

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