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Movies that make your balls swell (sorry ladies)


John Matrix

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Full Eclipse* - A wonderfully moronic action/sci-fi/horror starring MVP & Patsy Kensit where they play cops (I think?) who have been genetically modified with werewolf DNA & therefore have mad skills which translate to bad wire work & wearing yellow contact lenses.

 

 

*just cause I remember this shit doesn't equate to an endorsement.

 

:laugh: sounds like exactly the kind of shite I would have watched him in on TV.

 

 

 

edit - My (possibly unfair) dislike of the Transporter probably stems from two things:

 

1) I watched it after Crank and nothing could live up to that

2) I don't really care much for car chases

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Speaking of Ice-T, I always had a soft spot for New Jack City when I was a teenager, it seemed like some scary, hard-bastard shit in the vein of a kick-ass action movie but with drugs.

 

Watched it a couple of years ago, and realised it's meant to be a hugely anti-drugs movie, but I always thought Snipes was cool as here as an impressionable teenager.

 

800px-NJC089.jpg

 

Franchi Spaz 12. Yeah!

 

 

EDIT: missed a page, and it had already been mentioned. Great minds.

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Has Killer Elite got no love on here with Statham, De Niro, Owen and Purcell? It's one of my top films.

 

I watched the original a couple of weeks ago and it was absolutely fucking dreadful. The remake didn't have much to live up to.

 

New Jack City is fantastic. There were a whole load of great 'urban thrillers' around that time - see also Trespass and Judgment Night, both of which are great. Especially Trespass.

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I was only listening to the Crank 2 soundtrack on the way to work this morning thinking, I'd love to see Chev Chelios one more time.

<-- click on 'spoiler' to show/hide the spoiler

The Stath is phenomenal. Pure man and I nearly shite myself when I saw him roll in as the new baddy in the Fast & Furious franchise

 

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Lundgrens Punisher is fantastic. I actually liked the fact the logo wasn't brought into it.

My favourite Punisher (actor wise) was Stevenson's as he practically is Ennis' Castle brought to life. But movie wise, Lundgren's just pips it.

I did like Tom Jane's Dirty Laundry. Just on a pure fanboy level, though.

 

What about Vin Dizzil? I'm a huge fan of Pitch Black, so I'm looking forward to a return to the R Rated Riddick world with...Riddick.

 

Gladders, do you remember the soundtrack to Judgement Night? Absolute brilliance! Almost eclipsed the movie.

Point Break, Roadhouse and Fortress also get a nod from me!

 

Anyone ever see Hud with Paul Newman?

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Has Killer Elite got no love on here with Statham, De Niro, Owen and Purcell? It's one of my top films.

 

I watched the original a couple of weeks ago and it was absolutely fucking dreadful. The remake didn't have much to live up to.

 

New Jack City is fantastic. There were a whole load of great 'urban thrillers' around that time - see also Trespass and Judgment Night, both of which are great. Especially Trespass.

 

I didn't know there was an original. I will have to Wikipedia that one.

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I didn't know there was an original. I will have to Wikipedia that one.

 

Don't bother. It's shite.

 

Mind you, you'll probably like it.

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I like a film where someone tears around a city out for revenge.

 

On that tip, Point Blank puts hairs on your chest.

 

point-blank-lee-marvin.jpg

 

There's so many moments in that film where you leap off your sofa going "yeah, come on!" It's right up there with the manliest of films.

 

 

See also The Yakuza and The Limey

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The Yakuza is great, everyone should see it.

 

Another Lee Marvin film that could fit here is Prime Cut. It's absolutely bonkers - Gene Hackman has been bumping off gangsters sent to kill him and turning them into sausages at his cattle farm and sending them back to the mob in Chicago, so Marvin goes after him. Sissy Spacek gets them out as well. Superb film.

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I'm NOT on board with The Last Boyscout, but Hudson Hawk is ridiculously underrated. It was so panned at the time, the whole franchise was canned. Didn't watch it until years later, and it's great. There's an interview with Willis somewhere where he talks about how they came up with the character and all that, and it's clear it was a labour of love.

 

Not hugely manly though, if I'm honest.

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