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Facebook updates that blow your mind


SpursRiot2012

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Haha, fantastic!

 

There's a girl on my Facebook who makes custom hairbands and socks etc for school kids. Every 6 months or so she has a melt down and cancels all her orders and takes weeks to refund people. The amazing thing is when she restarts her business people still come back and place orders with her. It's one of the most entertaining things I've ever seen on Facebook. Especially because she often types/speaks like the post above. Last night she mentioned having 112 messages between Facebook, Viber and WhatsApp without managing to correctly spell a single one of those apps.

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Anyone have someone like this on their Facebook?

 

Can't believe Jon has sweeped me off my feet. I'm such a happy girly! Can't imagine life without him!

*3 months of lovey dovey pictures ensue*

Sadly me and Jon have decided to split. We just wanted different things in life. *crying face* (This is followed by messages from female friends like 'OMG hun, I'm so sorry, you didn't need him etc)

I made such a mistake. Delighted to announce me and Jon are back together. Love you baby.

*2 months of lovey dovey pictures ensue*

The rumours are correct. Me and Jon are no longer together. He'll always be a good friend but we weren't right together. I am much happier without him, time to re-focus on meeeeee! :) (Followed by sympathetic and/or 'you go, girlfriend!' style messages)

*2 months later*

I'm the happiest girly ever. So loved up with James! Finally found my perfect man!

....aaaaand this goes on and on and on, over and over every few months

 

ARGHHHH!!!!

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Anyone have someone like this on their Facebook?

 

Can't believe Jon has sweeped me off my feet. I'm such a happy girly! Can't imagine life without him!

*3 months of lovey dovey pictures ensue*

Sadly me and Jon have decided to split. We just wanted different things in life. *crying face* (This is followed by messages from female friends like 'OMG hun, I'm so sorry, you didn't need him etc)

I made such a mistake. Delighted to announce me and Jon are back together. Love you baby.

*2 months of lovey dovey pictures ensue*

The rumours are correct. Me and Jon are no longer together. He'll always be a good friend but we weren't right together. I am much happier without him, time to re-focus on meeeeee! :) (Followed by sympathetic and/or 'you go, girlfriend!' style messages)

*2 months later*

I'm the happiest girly ever. So loved up with James! Finally found my perfect man!

....aaaaand this goes on and on and on, over and over every few months

 

ARGHHHH!!!!

Yes, and I also have a sister girl on my friends list who's life is generally:

 

- is in a relationship

- New fella is spoiling me to a weekend away!

- New fella is using his staff discount to get me loads of stuff to redecorate my bedroom

- is single

- I'm a strong independent woman that don't need no man

- is in a relationship

- New fella is taking me to Rome for the weekend!

- Woohoo! Car is fixed and didn't cost me a penny!

- is single.

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A bit like someone who I ended up deleting, who broke up with his girlfriend every 4-6 weeks. It was basically because she won't let him go out on his own, if she's got her son that day then she forbids him to go out and he fucks her off, then they get back together again a few days later. Never mind all his passive aggressive arsey comments all the time.

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OK, I think I may have found one that ticks pretty much all the obnoxious parent boxes -

 

-- Display name is currently *FIRST* Mummy Tobe *LAST*

-- Previous display name shown in parentheses is *FIRST* *LAST* Soontobe *PARTNER'S SURNAME* (sprogging up took precedence, obviously)

-- Job is "Mummy at A Mummy to be" (you mean unemployed?)

-- Profile pic is a "Keep Calm" which reads "Can't Keep Calm we're having a BOY! We can't wait to meet him"

-- Every status & share for months is in some way related to her being pregnant. Except yesterday's, which was sharing a moany picture about there being gruesome images on fag packets. Don't wanna be looking at those when you're 8 months gone.

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It's basically women, they shouldn't be allowed on Facebook. Even intelligent, well brought up girls of my acquaintance are terrible on Facebook, nothing like in real life.

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