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Times When You Have Gone Arse Over tit.


Kata Ha Jime

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Running for a bus late at night, I saw an empty metal frame directly in my path, so decided it would be quicker just to jump through it and carry on.

 

Naturally it turned out to be a bus timetable frame that was currently empty of timetables, but very much full of plexiglass.

 

Smashed my nose up at a party as a drunken teenager - someone shouted my name, and I turned and walked toward them, right into the patio doors. I was dressed like a chav jesus as well, all white to take advantage of my holiday tan. Blood everywhere.

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I reckon you could even make that boring.

 

Feeling the love, as usual Chest. You always know how to dust someone off after a fall, pick them up and tell them its going to be okay. You're a proper gentleman.

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Was it you who said you fell on your arse in Preston town centre or something and you just lay on the floor and nobody offered to help you at all?

 

Yup, If some one had a video camera, they could make millions. flailing turtle is a speciality :p

 

 

I thought it was a thing we had?

 

You know... you say something boring, I tell you you're boring... it's our thing right? Right, buddy?

 

Right.

 

I'm touched man, bringing tears to my eyes :thumbsup:

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Running for a bus late at night, I saw an empty metal frame directly in my path, so decided it would be quicker just to jump through it and carry on.

 

Naturally it turned out to be a bus timetable frame that was currently empty of timetables, but very much full of plexiglass.

I love the mental image of this one. Absolutely hilarious.

 

Agreed, I've been laughing about this all afternoon!

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As a child, I once fell through a glass shop doorway on a snowy day -- they'd removed the glass already, which suggests others had fallen in the same spot, but I still smashed my face on the metal bit across the middle of the door.

 

Another time as a child, I fell in my next door neighbour's garden and cut my hand open on some upturned paving slabs. Sued the MEB, got about a grand and a half in the end.

 

When I was eighteen and walking home from working at Blockbuster one night, a dog came charging out of a park towards me. I legged it, and splatted face first in the middle of the road. The dog stopped chasing me though, the noise of the impact must have frightened it.

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I once fell down the stairs on the double decker school bus. Right from the top step to the bottom. The bus had moved off when I wasn't expecting it to. It was a sick bump. I tried to no-sell it as much as possible by getting straight back up almost as quickly as I had fallen down, Del Boy style, but fucking hell, it was embarrasing and it really hurt. I was off school the next day.

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My gran used to live in a big, old house in Somerset. The twisting staircase that went up to the attic was really narrow, to the point where if you put a foot a couple of inches out of place, you wouldn't find anything directly below you for about 6 feet. Which, inevitably, is what happened to me. Went tumbling down and knocked into a bunch of things along the way, and ended up with a huge scrape on the inside of my right arm that passed right over the veins. Would've been in much worse shape if it'd been a bit deeper.

 

You think you're gonna be all calm and aloof when stuff like that happens, but I was proper shaken up. Had to lie down for ages.

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Sometimes after swimming lessons when I was about 6 or 7, my friend and I would go to the little park just next to the swimming pool, which had a helter skelter. It was far and away the best thing in that park, so we'd just go on that again and again.

 

I fell off the top of the helter skelter. As my friend was spiralling down it, I somehow lost my footing while getting into a sitting position to go down as well, tumbled over the side... thunk. By god, I must have been twenty, thirty feet in the air.

 

Probably not, actually - I'm sure it wasn't as high up as I remember it. But I imagine it must have looked quite spectacular - and I got to the bottom before my friend did.

 

I wasn't hurt by the fall thanks to that soft tarmac-y stuff they put around things in parks, but I had a great selection of bruises down my back. Not many manage to fall off the top of the helter skelter and walk away.

 

The helter skelter's not there anymore - I never went on the bastard again anyway - but it often pops into my head when I hear 'Helter Skelter' by The Beatles.

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