NEWM Posted April 9, 2011 Share Posted April 9, 2011 I was fighting this lad once, outside ASDA. Halfway through the fight, I got him in a sleeperhold and as he was almost unconscious, he raised a single index finger in the air and elbowed me once in the stomach. I kept the hold on. He elbowed me again and I loosened my grip slightly. He did it a third time, and I had to release the sleeper. He ran toward me and being the smart fighter I am, I raised a knee to his gut, sending him over into a somersault. I then picked him up, but out of the corner of my eye, his lass started flaunting herself and I got distracted. I went over and I began saying charming things that usually work with the girls like "yeah, you want a piece of this baby!" As I was doing this, she slid her purse into the bloke and he smacked me upside the head with it. Even though it looked like it didnt have anything other than lipstick and a lottery ticket in it, it hurt like I'd been smacked by half a brick or something. As I lay out cold on the floor, apparently he'd put me in a Tongan Death Grip. They then Fargo Strutted out of the ASDA's carpark. Â My favourite so far in a thread that has the potential to be absolutely sensational. "yeah you want a piece of this baby!" had me laughing my tits off. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators PowerButchi Posted April 9, 2011 Moderators Share Posted April 9, 2011 I'll second that, the monopolising bastard Ian is. Â But that thread will be full of gold. Be it people taking the piss or people talking shite, it'll be bullion. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Devon Malcolm Posted April 9, 2011 Paid Members Share Posted April 9, 2011 Brilliant. Give him the award now, Thirded. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
King Pitcos Posted April 9, 2011 Share Posted April 9, 2011 I loved Ian's, and certainly fourth it, but I think Butch topped it.  This is clearly the "make up some utter bollocks" thread isn't it? I had a fight in school once when I was 8. It was punches. Just punches. Not even good ones. I got a black eye, then I cried.  That's the only honest response you'll get here.  Woman. When I was in the womb I sparked a 12 year old, and his big brother had a go at me. He must have been 6'5" if he was a day. Needless to say I quickly gave him a leg sweep, got his back and Kata Hajimed him to fuck. And where is he now? Fucking dead. I'm here. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Gordon_The_Gopher Posted April 9, 2011 Paid Members Share Posted April 9, 2011 Kevin Nash confirmed on Twitter that he's no longer working for 1PW in May "I will not be working with 1pro wrestling in the U.K. in May the promoter could not come up with the deposit. Thank Danny Rodd"   What sort of deposti/retainer would a star like Nash want?  a real one  This ^^^^^ when the context of the thread is there, this is brilliant! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Carbomb Posted April 9, 2011 Paid Members Share Posted April 9, 2011 Woyzeck for this one in the "Submissions in real fights" thread.  I was getting the better of some lads who jumped me outside the local Chinese, when the owner came and threw salt in my eyes. Luckily I had the foresight to duck and my assailants were blinded. Forever. Another time I got into an argument with this black lad over which was better, Fresh Fields or French Fields, and things escalated over French Fields' exclusion of that woman who'd come in the back door and annoy Anton Rogers by going "It's only me, Sonia!" so I headbutted him. He just stood there, while I dropped into a coma that lasted all summer. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Tommy! Posted April 9, 2011 Paid Members Share Posted April 9, 2011 I'll 5th Ian Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
alexander Posted April 9, 2011 Share Posted April 9, 2011 I'll second Woyzeck's, there. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Cum Doctor Posted April 9, 2011 Share Posted April 9, 2011 I'm going to 6th the Ian one, and also second the one that Gordon nominated from VINIKAMA. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Max Power Posted April 9, 2011 Share Posted April 9, 2011 3rd for Woyzeck - expecially the first paragraph; the slant eye bastards. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members tom Posted April 9, 2011 Paid Members Share Posted April 9, 2011 Fuck me, we've got a winner  However when it does get nasty and the occasional tool is involves the "hardcore" element you have seen in wrestling will come to fruition. I'm not proud of it but my ABH conviction come after repeatiing something from wrestling i had scene.  Gonna need the full story here. Did you shit in a sandwich and give someone e-coli? No someone tried to rape me when i was asleep, i woke up half way through and went mental.  As it says in all the police statments and court documents. Bradley Strickland only escaped when i slipped going to hit him over the head with a mirror i ripped off the wall.  The last sentence sounds like something from a child's English homework with the use of the full name. I'm sure his lawyer Harvey Stringfellow fought bravely against the conviction Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
denzel_maggiore Posted April 9, 2011 Share Posted April 9, 2011 From the same thread. Another gem from Mark Sloan.  the wall has been turned off for now. Genuine people wishing to speak to us simply need to email at sales@oneprowrestling.com or use the contact form on the website. What happened on the wall? I missed it.  Didn't pay the brickie, so they didn't bother to come and finish it  Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members bAzTNM#1 Posted April 10, 2011 Paid Members Share Posted April 10, 2011 I'd have to second tom's "STRICKLAND" post. That is just, wow. Â http://ukff.com/index.php?showtopic=124001...t&p=2345101 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
insert_name_here Posted April 10, 2011 Share Posted April 10, 2011 A nice one from Big Rob also from the 1PW thread. Â So Rodd is in Scotland boozing it up with a few ring rats and their Carnegie hall sized vagina's, Should be easy enough to track him down at least - just practice, practice, practice. Â Bazinga! Indeed Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Devon Malcolm Posted April 14, 2011 Paid Members Share Posted April 14, 2011 Splendid turn of phrase from Scott Malbranque:-  Calling the lad a 'bell' is a bit harsh isn't it Woyzeck, considering NSFW is embedded in the Thread Title? I tell ya, you should unclench these days Woyzeck, sir. I'd say if you were having a peddle and decided to take it up a notch by going and rooting for your g-spot, your hand would come back to you minus a digit.  From this thread:-  http://ukff.com/index.php?showtopic=76864 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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