26/27 football thread

[Devon Malcolm]

Liverpool vs Brighton was a load of fun as expected. Araujo is a real throwback as a full-back, just thunders into tackles and absolutely twats it if he gets a sight of goal. Wirtz is starting to look like something resembling a football player. Gakpo has been unplayable since I said he was shit. You're welcome, Liverpool lads!

[Wee_Al]

It has to be Conte now, doesn't it? Manchester United are in need of a defibrillator. That it will all blow up after 18 months doesn't seem like much of a problem when staring down the entrance way of the relegation zone again. 

Unai Emery, Fabian Hurzeler - they'd be mad to take this job right now. I think they ruled themselves out which shows they have plenty of wit about them. Christ, Eddie Howe would be nuts to take it nat the minute too.

If they are looking at somebody like Howe, they need to let Conte stop the freefall, get them looking like an actual football team again in the short term and then possibly think about having someone in place to take over in a year/year and a half. 

[TheBurningRed]

Unai Emery would be my first choice before Conte tbf. But like you said, he’d be mad to take it. He’s rebuilt Villa a couple of times, replaced Watkins very well which was always going to be an ask, 12 goals scored in 3 games in the champions league and currently second in that league and he’s got a European trophy under his belt. If he came to United now, he’d be grey by January and look like death as it comes to all our recent managers. 

[Ironic Indie Lad]

No matter who comes in, they are still inheriting a squad without a fit centre forward and huge problems with the defensive line up. That'll be the least of their worries too.

If you really look through the entire squad, its a nightmare. It's reflective of years and years of bad decisions all about to explode at once.

Keeper

Lammens - a decent keeper and a good find given he was plucked from relative obscurity. 

Defenders

Luke Shaw - Older. Injury record speaks for itself. A good player when fit to be fair. Problem is with his age and his injuries, you just arent going to be able to move him on for any money.

Maguire - A meme for a while but has been mostly good for a while now. Will leave for free.

Martinez - Has looked excellent on rare occasions. Awful injury record, older, doesnt want to be here, will leave for free (there is a theme developing here!)

Mazraoui - I think if you were extremely kind then you could say that he is an acceptable squad player.

Heaven - It's kind of a disgrace that United are in a position where they are regularly having to start a youngster they paid £1m for. 

Yoro - Was very sought after when he signed. Never going to live up to potential if he is in and out of the squad and being played out of position etc. He is probably the only one I would keep.

De Ligt - I have no idea. He was playing quite well under Amorim then destroyed his back and missed an entire year. 

Dorgu - I dont know where he fits in now. He was signed as a wing back for Amorim and now wing backs arent required. He hasnt played well as a left back and he isnt better than the other options to play as a left winger. I think he briefly tricked people into thinking he was good with the goal against Arsenal.

Dalot - I am so tired of watching this guy. 

Midfield

Santos - I am still waiting to find out why the club spent £50m for him.

Tielemens - I rated him at Villa. I dont think he has had one good game for United. To me, this didnt feel like a well thought out move. It felt like someone found out he had quite a cheap release clause and jumped on it. There is no way he is being moved on for any decent money.

Baleba - Has shown potential. I dont really have much of an opinion on him so far as he came in injured and is still getting back to fitness. 

Mainoo - I think he is an excellent player.

Ugarte - Do not rate him at all and I am confident he would have been moved on if it wasnt for his injury. Ten Hag didnt want him, Amorim only played him if he had no other choice despite their previous relationship. Likely very low value now. 

Mount - he still has not reached a combined 10 goals and assists in his entire time at United. Awful fitness record and will inevitably leave for free having achieved nothing of note across several years at the club.

Bruno - He is getting on in years. A frustrating player as he is capable of being world class but also capable of being one of the most annoying players to watch. It was unlikely he would repeat his form from last season and at times I believe there is an over-reliance on him that holds the team back.  I could still see him going to a less competitive league and playing well for several more years at a good level but that fee is dwindling by the day.

Forwards

Rashford - Endless and annoying discourse around him that I just cant be bothered with. He has not been particularly good since the first Ten Hag season which was several years ago now. If the club was able to get any sort of meaningful fee and get his wages off the books, he would be long gone. 

Amad - One of the few I enjoy watching. Good on the ball, happy to actually run at people and take them on. I would personally keep.

Cunha - Doesnt work as a 9 and really hasnt lived up to expectations since coming from Wolves. 

Mbuemo - Is having to play as a 9 more often than not which isnt his favoured position. He's still coming up with a decent goal tally despite not playing well this season. I would keep as he has shown to be an excellent player.

Sesko - Its hard to gauge as he has been so in and out. Massive potential and there was a couple of times where it looked like he was about to really get going. Whatever this recurring shin issue he has is a real worry. I honestly worry he is now in the "what if?" category.

Long winded post BUT my point is that the squad is crap and you couldnt even sell most of these players to raise the money needed for decent replacements.

[Devon Malcolm]

I reckon United need to spend around £600-700 million to put together a squad capable of challenging for the league. And due to FFP,  they're probably going to have to spread that over 4 or 5 summer windows.

So you're looking at 5 years before they're realistic title contenders and that's only if recruitment suddenly becomes good, they get rid of a bunch of crap players on massive contracts, they hire the right coach, the ownership fucks off and the new ownership aren't cunts, they don't spend all that money on the new stadium, and the players coming in actually perform.

I think they're completely fucked because I don't think any of the above will happen.

[SuperBacon]

It's absolutely mental that I look at those players at Manchester United, and think as a Spurs fan who's just watched back to back 17th finishes that I'd only take Mbeumo and Mainoo out of the lot of them. 

Kobbie, it's time sunshine

someone said yesterday that the United purchases in the summer in Santos and Tielemans (also saw someone call him Tieletubby which did pop me) are what you'd expect of us if Levy was still calling the shots, and they're right. Spurs probably paid over the odds in Tonali and Fernandes, but after the buy cheap, buy often method for years, we had to.

Uniteds squad is an absolute mess that will take years to fix.

[tiger_rick]

United situation is entirely predictable. I know some didn't agree but I did point out that they should never have appointed Carrick because he clearly wasn't what they want or need. It was so obviously OGS Mk 2. Both Ole and Carrick did a good interim job, and both are fantastic people but, they're so clearly not the answer.

Carrick will take the fall now but, the problem remains the same. The club has no identity and no obvious plan. They have too many players who've let down too many managers, a squad built for a system they don't play, no financial headroom to fix all the problems, no patience to start again and fix them slowly and absolutely no idea who should be the person to head it all.

There is a clear example of how to do it, in Arsenal. They turned over an entire squad under Arteta, let him and Edu and his predecessors set out a blueprint for the entire club, top to bottom, took the pain for a couple of years and slowly got closer and closer. Despite the wobbles, the near misses and the general glee whenever they missed out, because Man City were saving football, remember?

If they go for Conte, that's A1 Spurs behaviour. Another short-term fix. Eddie Howe would be a more promising appointment but I'm not sure they have the bottle to back him when times are hard and he won't just be another Moyes/Solskjaer/Amorim/Carrick.

I'd go Kieran McKenna but with a new Sporting Director with United DNA and a club-wide strategy, playing style and recruitment focus.

Think it was Dev who pointed out the other day they they've planned to fix forwards, midfielders and then defence separately over three years. That's absolutely insane. They should have bought at least one midfielder last summer and then a striker, RB, LB and midfielder this year. But even if they had, does anyone trust them to buy the right ones? I know some others are bigger fans of Sesko than I am but him, Tielemans and Santos are just such poor signings that don't fit United at all. I like Cunha and Mbuemo, I think they've been pretty good. But they have such a poor track record over nearly a decade now, something has to change (again).

[Briefcase]

1 hour ago, TheBurningRed said:

Unai Emery would be my first choice before Conte tbf. But like you said, he’d be mad to take it. He’s rebuilt Villa a couple of times, replaced Watkins very well which was always going to be an ask, 12 goals scored in 3 games in the champions league and currently second in that league and he’s got a European trophy under his belt. If he came to United now, he’d be grey by January and look like death as it comes to all our recent managers. 

Emery is better at smaller clubs with less expectation, he really struggled at PSG & Arsenal and couldn't really manage big players....

1 hour ago, SuperBacon said:

It's absolutely mental that I look at those players at Manchester United, and think as a Spurs fan who's just watched back to back 17th finishes that I'd only take Mbeumo and Mainoo out of the lot of them. 

 

Although have United really got big players these days? Fernandes maybe the biggest one, so maybe Emery is the right man with this squad even if for a year or two. 

[The Curious Orange]

16 minutes ago, tiger_rick said:

They should have bought at least one midfielder last summer and then a striker, RB, LB and midfielder this year.

Not sure clubs can stockpile massive squads these days - and there's not many clubs queuing up to buy Onana, Mount, Shaw, Dalot, Mazraoui, Ugarte, Rashford and Zirkzee who they'd have to shift first for a full rebuild.

[Wee_Al]

I say this as a United fan, but Manchester United need to get over themselves. They're a "big club" in terms of past successes, the size of their fanbase and the ability to put those people into seats. That's it. 

But this is not a good job to be offered. Any coach that takes this challenge on is a total gambler. Why anyone would think it's a desirable calling is beyond me. It's the worst job in the league.

You'll have no money to work with, directors and two sets of owners above you that have shown repeated ability to make poor or badly timed decisions. A squad to work with that's full of players who are either overpaid, lacking the required talent or are unfit. Youth system? Over the last several years that has tended to be overlooked by coach after coach that has had a need for talent, telling me that most of them don't see many solutions there. Then a degrading stadium, that again, there is no money to either repair, renovate or rebuild. 

A catastrophically large amount of debt that can't be paid down unless immediate success arrived and a larger TV deal dropped out of the sky. 

Then to top it off - no patience from the club, or a large section of the supporters, to turn the ship around slowly, as expectations are still incredibly lofty. 

Man United are no closer to winning a league title than Brighton are. 

Edited Monday at 12:10 PM by Wee_Al

[Mr_Danger]

Baleba, Mainoo and Bruno should be the basis of an excellent midfield. Amad is one of the best young wingers in the league and Mbeumo is a good to very good player. The rest of the team is fucked, they should probably throw the bank at Harry Kane at the end of the season and hope he misses seeing union jacks on lampposts enough to want to move back to Britain. I doubt they have the pull though to be honest and would expect to see him move to Barcelona or someone much higher profile these days. The goalie is a decent young goalie but that’s a poor standard for a team looking to establish itself amongst the top order. What happened to them getting Emi Martinez that summer? He’s nowhere near the keeper he and pundits think he is but he’s good and has a big personality.

Anyway, Ronnie Araujo is the nuts and the fact there’s Liverpool fans who want Trent back when we have this beautiful mad bastard who treats tackles and clearances like goals is proof that some people just like transfers and don’t watch footy.

[Ironic Indie Lad]

It's worth noting that INEOS entire thing is "best in class" and they had a "plan" to win the league by 2028 (lol)

In their time at the club, they have had exactly 1 run of good form and that was Michael Carrick from January to May 2026. So their only good period wasn't even as a result of their planning, they stumbled into it having sacked Ruben Amorim.

They have an awful track record already.

Ten Hag* - They didn't want him, they sounded out other managers but then decided to keep him after winning the FA cup. Sacked him after a poor start to the season.

Amorim - Dan Ashworth didn't want him so they sacked Ashworth (having just paid big money to get him out of Newcastle) and hired him anyway. He showed an absolute pig headed determination to stick to his system regardless of progress or results. They publicly backed him and said he needed time but then sacked him after his Meltdown after a draw against Leeds.

Carrick - He obviously wasn't in their plans but they decided to keep him based on results achieved as an interim. He's then done badly in what appears to be an environment of incredibly bad morale and will be fired today, in all likelihood.

*I actually think the best chance to push on was probably at the end of Ten Hags first season. 3rd place finish, great home record, made it to the final of the FA Cup and won the League Cup. For most clubs thats an excellent season. Imagine they spent the £100m on Kane that summer instead of the £70 on Hojlund. The recruitment in that period was so bad. 

 

Edited Monday at 12:55 PM by Ironic Indie Lad

[SuperBacon]

23 minutes ago, Mr_Danger said:

would expect to see him move to Barcelona or someone much higher profile these days

He's just signed an extension until 2029.

[tiger_rick]

1 hour ago, The Curious Orange said:

Not sure clubs can stockpile massive squads these days - and there's not many clubs queuing up to buy Onana, Mount, Shaw, Dalot, Mazraoui, Ugarte, Rashford and Zirkzee who they'd have to shift first for a full rebuild.

I meant a midfielder instead of Sesko last summer and then I would have got the LB and RB instead of Tielemans and Santos this summer. I'm talking about priorities, not actually buying additional players.

United could deifnitely shift all of the players you mentioned, except perhaps Shaw. It just means taking a huge loss, which I'd normally be against but United sell so poorly anyway, they might aswell just clear the decks.

Edit: I wouldn't sell Shaw anyway. I think he's fine as a backup LB/third CB and as a leader in the group. The problem isn't that United don't have good players, they just don't have best in class players in any position and don't have players to suit any particular style of football. Like lining up in Hull with a midfield pairing of Santos and Tielemans who got out run, out fought and out thunk by two reasonable Championship lads in Crooks and Slater.

Edited Monday at 01:41 PM by tiger_rick

[TheBurningRed]

8 years on and you can go to this Jose media lecture about football heritage every time we get a poor result or a manager is in jeopardy and it still rings true. Nothing has changed and won’t for a long time.