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Off Topic Post Of The Year 2024

Keith Houchen

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23 minutes ago, Lion_of_the_Midlands said:

Well it's happened again. Another instalment in the ongoing saga of Lion goes to a funeral with unexpected occurrences. 

I've been to a funeral today in Stoke. Not a member of my family, a friend of mines aunt. He can't drive at the minute as he's just had an operation. He asked if I would drive him as he didn't want to take his wife and kids as while he remembered his aunt fondly from when he was a kid, she had lead let's say an "Interesting" life without wishing to speak ill of the dead. 

Travel was fine a couple of hours each way, no real hassle. On the way my friend explained that the funeral might be quite tense as his aunt who had 6 children had made a will that spelled out very clearly which of her children were getting something and which weren't, but that she has died before signing it so the will was invalid and everything was to be split equally 6 ways. As you would imagine this has caused some unpleasantness. 

So when we get to the crematorium things are tense. Half of her kids are not talking to the other half, her friends who are an interesting collection of people are already a bit drunk even though it is 11am on a Monday morning and me and my friend stick out because we are suited and booted, I think a few of them thought we were the police or the benefits people there to nab someone. 

The service was fine, nothing out of the ordinary, afterwards her partner says to my friend "You will come for a drink before you go back" so of course we do. The pub we go to wasn't of the flat roofed variety but it was certainly in that spirit. Rough as a blind carpenters thumb, bars over the windows. We go in, get a drink, both of us without talking about it chose a drink that came in a bottle so we didn't have to have a manky looking glass or anything from a tap. Everyone else from the crematorium is there apart from her partner, who we then see come out from behind the small stage at the end of the pub and pick up the microphone from its stand. He then proceeds to explain that my friends aunt had wanted her wake to start with anyone who wanted to singing a karaoke song. He preceeded to sing You've Lost That Loving Feeling by The Righteous Brothers, breaking down in tears at the end and having to be helped off stage. Needless to say we didn't sing a song, just brought him a brandy to calm his nerves, made our excuses and left. I'd imagine there was a fight at some point after we'd gone but on the whole we spent most of the journey back laughing about what a bizarre time it had been. 


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The return of Scratch has been brilliant.

31 minutes ago, Scratch said:

5 years ago a regular member of our Monday 6-a-side football group was diagnosed with cancer and was dead within a month. An absolutely lovely bloke with 4 boys, we were all devastated.

I proposed we all chipped in for a floral tribute and the boys donated good. We raised quite a bit of money and not really knowing how such things worked or how much such things cost, I called the local florist and asked if they could do a tribute in the shape of a football.

They asked how big and I just said whatever you can do for the money we’d collected.

On the day of the funeral, those from footy that could get out of work turned up and just as the hearse was making its final approach to the chapel, I heard a loud “Fuck me!” from my mate Ashley. We all turned to look at the hearse and saw the BIGGEST floral football you could imagine. I mean, this thing was comedically huge - easily comparable to those big yoga exercise ball things.

It was so big, all the “Dad” and “Brother” tributes had fallen off the coffin and were face down around the edge, meaning all that could be seen was this massive fucking football.

I can’t remember laughing so hard and trying so hard not to. None of the couple of hundred people who showed up knew who we were or why there was just a big football on the coffin.

I still laugh about it now.


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24 minutes ago, David said:


Random guy on a wrestling forum - "Jake Paul is fundamentally terrible."

Teddy Atlas, boxing hall of famer, trainer of world champions and professional boxing analyst and expert - “He knows he needs a basic respect, an understanding of distance and range, and you can see he’s embraced these fundamentals."

Who to believe? It's a toughie, that's for sure.

I know the MMA Forum is the least liked child of the UKFF family so I had to highlight this from David.

It has really tickled me, and I've been laughing since I read it.

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52 minutes ago, Lion_of_the_Midlands said:

British Wrestling Forum

Is this the bit where you get posts about DANNY COLLINS DRUNK BACKSTAGE or 'Richard'?

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34 minutes ago, Loki said:

Is this the bit where you get posts about DANNY COLLINS DRUNK BACKSTAGE or 'Richard'?

Whatever its called that's the place. There used to be a time that people here cared about British Wrestling, but that time is in the past like Mafia Scum and was there a game called Soldat that people used to play here. No one cares about any of those things anymore, and with good reason. 

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It’s more a collection of posts than it is one post in isolation, but @Hernan’s efforts in the ‘What should be entrance music, but isn’t?’ thread are surely worth of recognition; sharing sometimes very obscure examples of when the songs we’ve suggested were used as entrance themes.

You can read one of these posts here - huge credit to Herman for the work that has gone into these.

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6 minutes ago, Frankie Crisp said:

Okay, this might be a bit of a ramble but I’ll hopefully get there in the end.

The husband of a near life-long friend of mine was diagnosed with MND just over 18 months ago. As you can imagine, it’s completely devastated and destroyed their day-to-day lives. Shortly after his diagnosis, Fraser (Frae) started a campaign to raise awareness via his incredible artwork but also to raise money for the Irish Motor Neurone Disease Association (IMNDA), which he, his friends and family have done and then some.

I last saw Frae in May, at which point he was in his bed and just about able to communicate with his own voice. It was tough to talk with him but he managed to get a few words out - laid up in his bed - and despite being utterly trapped in his body, he told me how happy he was that I’d met my girlfriend. Told me ‘it’s about time and you deserve it’, in the weakest possible voice. I wished him farewell and absolutely lost it outside.

Since then, they sourced some EyeGaze technology which - despite Frae being locked in a bed and a body - allowed him to use his eyes to design and set up a clothing and art brand. The man cannot physically move and he’s done this, with proceeds going to the IMNDA. 

So, the point of this post? Frae wanted to reward his close friends who have been invaluable in keeping the family going. They have 24-hour support and are burning through cash to provide it like you wouldn’t believe. But they have some friends and family who’ve kept them going through this ordeal. They have a little girl who is trying to comprehend what’s happening to her Dad and what will be next.

Frae wanted to thank a particular group of friends who have kept them going. The days when they think he’ll take his last breath, they’ll ring these friends and they’ll immediately drop everything to go round, do what they can and take their daughter away from the potential end.

These friends are Liverpool fans and Frae wanted to box them off with a ticket to the match. He wanted to say thank you to them before he passes. They only wanted to watch the match. Phone calls and emails happened and because of Frae’s story, the club arranged for these friends - the ones who’ve kept his family going throughout this cruelty - to go to the match on New Year’s Day. But with a full stadium tour, big meal and the best seats in the house. The live video of their mate and his kids having the time of their lives, thanks to a dying man, will stay with me forever.

Today, though, Frae’s wife sent me a message showing that Jurgen Klopp had written him a very personal letter.


I’ve blurred it because the internet is a weirdo, but this has genuinely made him, his wife and child feel a million dollars as they prepare for his passing.

In the last few days, Frae has lost his core strength so is now 100% lying in a bed. He’s not left his house in 7 months and is able to breathe and swallow, but nothing else. He can’t talk or hold his daughter.

I don’t think for one second anyone on here would be tribalistic about this, but Liverpool FC have helped a man who cannot move provide a dream day for their friends and their manager has gone out of his way to write a personal - and bloody emotional - letter that has probably given that family the boost they needed.

It made me smile, more than I have done in years.

Welled up at this beautiful but bittersweet story of good in the world. 

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