Jump to content

Off Topic Time Machine


Keith Houchen

Recommended Posts

There is no doubt an on topic version of this waiting to happen but off topic is always better. This isn't about a historic moment or somesuch it's about fun.

 

I've got a time machine that fits a few people and so have you. Where are you going and who is coming with you? Me, Bifkin, Gus, Zeb, Coco, Butch, Branquefurter and Ian are off to 70s Vegas to watch Elvis and get coked off our faces and shag hairy fannys.

 

What are you doing?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Paid Members

I miss a good Kate, I really do. Veet this and razor that, nowt wrong with rug burn is the sage advice I'm handing down to my nonexistent children.

 

Frankly nothing is likely to top your idea of coke, vag and fat Elvis Keith. So I'm going to travel to that time when Ian saw Gangrel demolish a pack of cheese and onion at a service station.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Paid Members

I'd send John Matrix back to November 23rd 2007 to murder me and save the UKFF.

 

Naturally he'd have to work through all the "!, Tommy" listed in the phone book.

 

Without telling Matrix I'd also send Baztmn#1 back to protect me. However I'd do it in summer 2017, safe in the knowledge the BST adjustment to November 2007 would be too much for Baz, ensuring Matrix finishes the job.

 

With out telling either of them i'd also send Monkee, who I understand is handy with a camera, to 10 minutes before they arrive. My understanding is they will arrive in need of clothes, boots and motorcycles and she can be ready to snap a quick photo of their cock, just for a laugh.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Awards Moderator

I'm taking Frankie Crisp and I back to various moments in the 60s and 70s to see some classic bands live at their peak. Mostly Springsteen, to be honest, but we might pop to the Cavern Club a few times too.

 

Edit: That, or I'm taking everyone to ajmcstyles' shoe shop on that fateful day whenever it was.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Paid Members

I'd be a fan of taking Butch back to a really, really boring county cricket game from the 30's where we can drink bitter and moan about how shit the game is compared to the 1900's, when a 50 year old WG Grace was battering bowling attacks made up of members of the aristocracy.

 

I'm taking Malbranque and probably Keith back to that time when Jimmy Valiant got a hooker to take a shit on his a glass table with him under it.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Paid Members

Fully behind Gus with his opinion on front bum hair. I genuinely have no problems with an unkempt growler as I can pretend to be in an Allan Quatermain adventure when I'm down there.

 

I really have to think about this time machine. My brain is exploding with thoughts and possibilities, that I need to channel

 

Ill try not involve poo or masturbation

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Paid Members

Fully behind Gus with his opinion on front bum hair. I genuinely have no problems with an unkempt growler as I can pretend to be in an Allan Quatermain adventure when I'm down there.

 

I really have to think about this time machine. My brain is exploding with thoughts and possibilities, that I need to channel

 

Ill try not involve poo or masturbation

The invention if scat porn? God only knows what led to the "You poo I'll open my mouth" debacle.

 

Or what cultural event led to it being a thing with young Brazilian girls.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I'm taking Frankie Crisp and I back to various moments in the 60s and 70s to see some classic bands live at their peak. Mostly Springsteen, to be honest, but we might pop to the Cavern Club a few times too.

 

Edit: That, or I'm taking everyone to ajmcstyles' shoe shop on that fateful day whenever it was.

Don't forget to take herbie747 to the Springsteen gig

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Awards Moderator

I'm taking Butch back to last January and stopping him from eating those sweet potato fries.

 

I'm taking Frankie Crisp and I back to various moments in the 60s and 70s to see some classic bands live at their peak. Mostly Springsteen, to be honest, but we might pop to the Cavern Club a few times too.

 

Edit: That, or I'm taking everyone to ajmcstyles' shoe shop on that fateful day whenever it was.

It's a date. See you at the Stone Pony!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

×
×
  • Create New...