Paid Members Sergio Mendacious Posted November 1, 2016 Author Paid Members Share Posted November 1, 2016 Poor Gus... sounds like when I had the salmonella (I licked the spoon for the Christmas cake). Lost about 3 stone in just over a week, lucky I'm a fat sod really. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Gus Mears Posted November 1, 2016 Paid Members Share Posted November 1, 2016 Yeah, lost a little under a stone in just over a day. Managed to keep food down, not much mind, but some food. It basically now just feels like flu, which is shite. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Otto Dem Wanz Posted November 1, 2016 Share Posted November 1, 2016 Somehow catching the Monovirus from our uni Christmas dinner gave me enough of a calorie deficit back in 2012 to negate the fried chicken and pizza diet I was on at the time and keep me as a skinny bastard. Ā Hang in there Gus. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members bAzTNM#1 Posted November 2, 2016 Paid Members Share Posted November 2, 2016 (edited) Try having the runs in the bushes one time, whilst wiping your arse with a big leaf in the middle of July. I've done that. I thought I was literallly dying there. I had to phone a quick taxi to get me home. About six months later it happened again in that same park. I never went back. Sighthill Park it was. Old site of an old chemical works. Edited November 2, 2016 by bAzTNM#1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members ElCece Posted November 2, 2016 Paid Members Share Posted November 2, 2016 Try having the runs in the bushes one time, whilst wiping your arse with a big leaf in the middle of July. I've done that. I thought I was literallly dying there. I had to phone a quick taxi to get me home. About six months later it happened again in that same park. I never went back. Sighthill Park it was. Old site of an old chemical works. Atleast the mystery of the Sighthill shitter has been revealed Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted November 2, 2016 Share Posted November 2, 2016 On the plus side those bushes have never been healthier. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Surf Digby Posted November 2, 2016 Paid Members Share Posted November 2, 2016 Ā Have you had both ends trying to evacuate themselves simultaneously yet, so that you have the mentally traumatic decision of which goes in the toilet and which goes on the floor? Ā That's always fun. Shit always in the toilet you loon! That's what the bath/sink/shower/salad bowls forWhen you're kneeling in front of the toilet, puking your guts up and you feel your other end begging to get in on the act, it's not such an easy decision.Ā You can shit down your calves, or spin round and hose your bathroom down in a manner favored by Mr Creosote. That's assuming you spin quickly enough. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Kaz Hayashi Posted November 2, 2016 Paid Members Share Posted November 2, 2016 (edited) Ā Ā Have you had both ends trying to evacuate themselves simultaneously yet, so that you have the mentally traumatic decision of which goes in the toilet and which goes on the floor? Ā That's always fun. Shit always in the toilet you loon! That's what the bath/sink/shower/salad bowls forWhen you're kneeling in front of the toilet, puking your guts up and you feel your other end begging to get in on the act, it's not such an easy decision.Ā You can shit down your calves, or spin round and hose your bathroom down in a manner favored by Mr Creosote. That's assuming you spin quickly enough. I've got to say, it's an easy decision for me. I'd rather have sick on the floor in front of me rather than shit. I think it's more sociably acceptable to be sick, not nice at all, just more tolerable compared to waves of Shite.Ā Also, a pal of mine was camping, felt dickie, had a shit in a pringles tube, TOOK IT HOME and then threw it away. When asked why on earth he took a tube of shit home with him, he said "i wasnt sure where the bins were". Ā Doyle Edited November 2, 2016 by Kaz Hayashi Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Undefeated Steak Posted November 2, 2016 Share Posted November 2, 2016 Yeah, picking sick up is never nice but we've all been there. I'd take that over chasing a puddle of backend gravy around your bathroom tiles anyday.Ā Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Gus Mears Posted November 2, 2016 Paid Members Share Posted November 2, 2016 (edited) I'd still rather repeatedly shit myself than go through 12 rounds of vomiting like I did the other day though. My midriff is bruised and shattered from sicking up like I'm Brian Close facing off against the 70's West Indian pace quartet. Edited November 2, 2016 by Gus Mears Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Kaz Hayashi Posted November 2, 2016 Paid Members Share Posted November 2, 2016 I'd still rather repeatedly shit myself than go through 12 rounds of vomiting like I did the other day though. My midriff is bruised and shattered from sicking up like I'm Brian Close facing off against the 70's West Indian pace quartet. Interesting, I much prefer being sick. I used to have IBS as a teen, not surprising based on the food I was fed as a kid. However once a year I get the most horrific stomach cramps, I can even explain how bad it feels. It's simply a giant knot in your stomach which is incredible sharp and intensive for 10 seconds, goes away for 10 seconds and then repeat for 1-2 days... horrid. I always fool myself in to thinking, I can shit it out, but no, there's simply nothing to shit out. Out of nowhere, you suddenly need to empty your entire world. It's horrible but I know that as soon as that first wave occurs, I'm stay in the bathroom at home and ride it out. Ā Ā ... now in my 30's I've found out I have a wheat intolerance. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members bAzTNM#1 Posted November 3, 2016 Paid Members Share Posted November 3, 2016 (edited) Liver is getting better. Doctors just hit me with "It might be bird flu" and I was like "What the fuck?" though. I feel decent enough. Ā All sorts of dead pigeons in my backcourt cause of my nutter downstairs neighbour feeding them. Making me shit myself to go down there. I need a biohazard suit to take the bins out. I'll fucking strangle him if its confirmed to be "bird flu". I've lost a week because I can't remember anything because of him. Edited November 3, 2016 by bAzTNM#1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rey_Piste Posted November 3, 2016 Share Posted November 3, 2016 I have just been in the bogs in the Morrisons in Yeovil and they are a state. The only stall in the men's looked like a dirty protest, with paper over the floor and water up to rim of the bowl. The disabled was no better. I saw a turd that looked like Arnie should be carrying it over his shoulder during the open of Commando. I did a cursory flush, but I knew that wasn't going to shift it and it didn't. Ā So I was just left with the secret third option of the baby changing room. Where my own movement could best be described as a mud slide. It was a half a roll job where you need to flush half way through so you don't block it with paper. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Cod Eye Posted November 3, 2016 Paid Members Share Posted November 3, 2016 My liver started playing up when I started some rheumatology meds(they can also be used for chronic skin conditions) when I was diagnosed with chronic Psoriatic Arthritis. My LFT(Liver Function Test) results were sky high, and the consultant said it was like I had necked boxes full of paracetamol(Like you, I hadn't). Ā Took about 6 weeks after ditching the meds for my liver to go back to normal... Ā So hang in there, it might just be a case of getting the stuff out of your system!Ā Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Kaz Hayashi Posted November 3, 2016 Paid Members Share Posted November 3, 2016 Baz - bird flu? Bloody hell, I didn't even realise that was still a thing, much like small pox or the phage. hope you get sorted soon mate. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts