Paid Members Sergio Mendacious Posted March 27, 2017 Author Paid Members Share Posted March 27, 2017 (edited)  My brother is currently in a quiz team of people around 30 years old who go to a student pub and win the quiz every week. They're all really proud of this and proudly boast about getting answers overturned and showing up the host like a load of David Brents. I'm clinging to the hope that it's his girlfriend dragging him there every week because it sounds really obnoxious.  Sounds like they're bunch of smart-arse bullies to me.  Don't tell Bowler ... he'll PM 'em all.   Honcho, you tedious bastard.  I was looking up some Skegness history, and I came across this Skegness Magazine timeline – there's some right crackers in there.  17/8/1990 — Ingoldmells bus shelter falls on Sheffield boy, David Wilson age 7  4/1/1991 — Gay Days at Butlin’s homosexual weekend  Glorious stuff, combines village paper hijinks with that patented East Lindsey sheen of chip grease.  UPDATE — Surprisingly (or not), I'm welling up and laughing at the same time, thinking about all the times I went there are a kid, with people who are all dead now, I assume. Got to 3/4/1996, and just broke down with laughter and tears, because I remember the big pipe mystery in Skegness, and all the gossip about it. Edited March 27, 2017 by Sergio Mendacious Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted March 27, 2017 Share Posted March 27, 2017 According to two separate teams, Gus, it's a carrot. An albino carrot is still a carrot, you insensitive bigot. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cobra_gordo Posted March 28, 2017 Share Posted March 28, 2017 Â Â Skegness. Â Â Any excuse to post this. Â Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Sergio Mendacious Posted March 28, 2017 Author Paid Members Share Posted March 28, 2017 Heh... Bill Bryson got in minor trouble for putting the fisherman on the cover of a book last year, and then slating Skeggy in the book (quite rightly, as you point out) — it's still in copyright till last year, and the publisher could have ended up stripping the covers if the copyright holder (think it was the council) hadn't let them use it despite the negative portrayal. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Gus Mears Posted March 28, 2017 Paid Members Share Posted March 28, 2017 I am off for an EEG at the hospital and was chatting to the taxi driver on route. Â "Southmead Hospital. That's where I had the telescope shoved up my cock when I started pissing blood. Could see my shaft and my prostate" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Sergio Mendacious Posted March 28, 2017 Author Paid Members Share Posted March 28, 2017 Shaft, Prostate, all the other constellations. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted March 28, 2017 Share Posted March 28, 2017 Heh... Bill Bryson got in minor trouble for putting the fisherman on the cover of a book last year, and then slating Skeggy in the book (quite rightly, as you point out) — it's still in copyright till last year, and the publisher could have ended up stripping the covers if the copyright holder (think it was the council) hadn't let them use it despite the negative portrayal. The Road to Little Dribbling? Really enjoyable book. Even by his high standards. Many chortles to be had in between sage observations and historical perspective. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Gus Mears Posted March 28, 2017 Paid Members Share Posted March 28, 2017 In continuation of my taxi driver story; after that post earlier, he proceeded to ask why I was going to the hospital, to which I told him it was due to having a seizure and myoclonic jerks.  "Ohhh, me wife gets the fits sometimes. Only, when it happens to her, she shits herself. So if she says she is feeling a bit queer, I tell her to have a lie down and I'll put the plastic padding underneath her, so at least I don't have to go round the house collecting it".  Excellent advice if I start pooing myself on a regular basis. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Sergio Mendacious Posted March 28, 2017 Author Paid Members Share Posted March 28, 2017 In continuation of my taxi driver story; after that post earlier, he proceeded to ask why I was going to the hospital, to which I told him it was due to having a seizure and myoclonic jerks. Â "Ohhh, me wife gets the fits sometimes. Only, when it happens to her, she shits herself. So if she says she is feeling a bit queer, I tell her to have a lie down and I'll put the plastic padding underneath her, so at least I don't have to go round the house collecting it". Â Excellent advice if I start pooing myself on a regular basis. It'll cost you a good bit to have him follow you round with a plastic sheet, though Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Gus Mears Posted March 28, 2017 Paid Members Share Posted March 28, 2017 Plus I would imagine having a telescope shoved up your cock takes a fair amount of time to recuperate from. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators Astro Hollywood Posted March 28, 2017 Moderators Share Posted March 28, 2017 (edited) "Ohhh, me wife gets the fits sometimes. Only, when it happens to her, she shits herself. So if she says she is feeling a bit queer, I tell her to have a lie down and I'll put the plastic padding underneath her, so at least I don't have to go round the house collecting it". Â Like an Easter egg hunt. Very festive. Edited March 28, 2017 by Astro Hollywood Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members ReturnOfTheMack Posted March 28, 2017 Paid Members Share Posted March 28, 2017 Â Â "Ohhh, me wife gets the fits sometimes. Only, when it happens to her, she shits herself. So if she says she is feeling a bit queer, I tell her to have a lie down and I'll put the plastic padding underneath her, so at least I don't have to go round the house collecting it". Like an Easter egg hunt. Very festive. Thanks for that, I just laughed so hard I almost pissed myself. Mind I have been drinking. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Sergio Mendacious Posted March 28, 2017 Author Paid Members Share Posted March 28, 2017 Hospitals, eh? I was just visiting my grandad-in-law, who has been getting over pneumonia, and having tests for some pulmonary issues. I had to leave, as the bloke in the next bed looked like the bloke from the first hellraiser film, like he's been turned inside out, and he smelled like it too. They were about to move grandad to a new room, as this feller had something seriously wrong. Â Then, I was chatting with his doctor in the life, and this bloke (in an ace Stars and Stripes leather jacket) dropped unconscious like a brick. The lift stopped on a floor with only maintainance staff, and I had to make one of them get a nurse to call an EMT. I looked right into the blokes eyes as I got into the lift to get the fuck out of there, I think he was gone. It's going to haunt me for a long time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members GlennCullen Posted March 29, 2017 Paid Members Share Posted March 29, 2017 Should've nabbed the jacket. Hindsight, eh? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Sergio Mendacious Posted March 29, 2017 Author Paid Members Share Posted March 29, 2017 He was too thin, and also, might be a bit morbid. You need someone like Gadgetboy for that kind of work. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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