Paid Members John Matrix Posted September 2, 2014 Paid Members Share Posted September 2, 2014 On the subject of awful films, I finally got around to watching Manhattan Chase this week, it was the last of Godfrey Ho’s non cut and paste movies, and starred Cynthia Rothrock and a much wasted talent in Loren Avedon – hence my curiosity.  Made in 2000, you’d be forgiven for thinking it was shot in 1985 with Avedon rocking a selection of double denim, high waisted trousers and shirt sleeves so wide he could paraglide to safety from the highest heights.  Things get underway with Avedon aka Jason, an expert assassin for hire doing what he does best, with a target in sight of his sniper rifle, no idea who, it’s not important, some couple walking through a park – if I were a cynic, I might suspect Godfrey had just filmed an unsuspecting couple and added a gun sight in post-production – in many respects, it’s the most convincing performance of the film.  Unfortunately, before he can pull the trigger, he’s caught in the act by Nancy (Rothrock). How did she manage that I hear you ask? An expert assassin is surely a master craftsman, an expert in weaponry and stealth.  Well he must have left his camoflauge in the wash with his red socks, because he’s wearing this inconspicuous and frankly ridiculous get up…    What follows is a 10 second fight between the two where Avedon’s selling makes the Undertaker look like Cena and BAM “Six years later”.  On his release from prison, Jason is a changed man, set on going straight and rebuilding a relationship with his son – now if I hadn’t seen or heard from my old man in all that time, you know what’d win me over?   Were they even still in production in 2000?!  The plot is a series of coincidences so remarkable, they make the events in Avengers seem plausible and the action takes place in a series of what I can only assume to be empty rental properties, dressed with the absolute bare minimum of furniture (some bloke has a poster on the wall in his room, that’s about it) and the villain’s penthouse apartment is clearly a vacant shop floor with a bed in the corner.  Dialogue is, as you’d expect, appalling, wooden and at times, not even edited as the cast regularly manage half a sentence before realising they fucked up and just start again.  That said, if you’re a fan of straight to video martial arts movies, it has a certain charm. Avedon overacts to levels not seen since his infamous “NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooo……” in King of the Kickboxers, while nobody else bothers acting at all. It has a fabulous and entirely unnecessary sex scene which ends with the line “Here Kim, here’s a lollipop. Beat it”. Not as Yewtree as it sounds, but every bit as  hilarious.  True to form, no one has a surname and we have villains named Patrick, Keith and Frank and the fight scenes for all Mr Ho’s faults, are consistently decent, albeit a let-down when you compare them with say Avedon in No Retreat No Surrender 3, or Rothrock in the various other films I’ve mentioned recently.  Worth a watch if you fancy a giggle or enjoy needless soft core pornography with no artistic merit – I’m especially fond of the part where Kim and Keith are in the cowgirl position in front of an open window.  Bonus Link - After i watched this, i googled Loren Avedon and found his official website, which apart from looking like it was made in Geocities or something, has some hilarious content...   While my film and acting career has taken a back seat to my equally busy personal life and spending quality time with my family for the past few years, my intention is still to create hard-hitting, thrilling and entertaining action movies for a diverse and sophisticated international audience Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators Chest Rockwell Posted September 2, 2014 Moderators Share Posted September 2, 2014 (edited)  Prometheus is such an awful film that I'd want to be given money to take a DVD with it on Lol, while Prometheus isn't the greatest film in the world, it actually costs more to get the 6-disc Alien anthology set than to get the 8 disc one which is identical in content, just with the 2 additional Prometheus.  So you were actually getting paid to take a DVD with Prometheus on it... brilliant. Edited September 2, 2014 by Chest Rockwell Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
truthofsin Posted September 2, 2014 Share Posted September 2, 2014 So you were actually getting paid to take a DVD with Prometheus on it... brilliant. Â Â Works for me Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Undefeated Steak Posted September 2, 2014 Share Posted September 2, 2014 Just watched Into the Wild. Can't remember the last time I beefed so much watching a film. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Surf Digby Posted September 2, 2014 Paid Members Share Posted September 2, 2014 Bonus Link - After i watched this, i googled Loren Avedon and found his official website, which apart from looking like it was made in Geocities or something... That was disappointingly unGeocitieslike. There's not even a hit counter at the bottom. I'm also disappointed that the forum is gone, and I'll never know if it was full of ex-Impact readers calling him Loren Aaaaaarrrgghh!! Avedon.  Just watched Into the Wild. Can't remember the last time I beefed so much watching a film. What does that even mean? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Undefeated Steak Posted September 2, 2014 Share Posted September 2, 2014 What does that even mean? Â Cried. Like a girl. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members John Matrix Posted September 3, 2014 Paid Members Share Posted September 3, 2014 I just bought Bloodsport 4 from Poundland on my lunch break. Anyone seen it? I imagine it's terrible, but for a quid! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Surf Digby Posted September 3, 2014 Paid Members Share Posted September 3, 2014 I wasn't even aware there was a fourth. Who's the star? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members bAzTNM#1 Posted September 3, 2014 Paid Members Share Posted September 3, 2014 Daniel Bernhardt is the main guy. Storyline is that a "kumite" tournament is being started up in a prison. Some shit like that. Poundland is great for picking up martial arts films that you've never heard of.. Â "Bloodsport 4: The Dark Kumite" Â It's on Youtube! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Surf Digby Posted September 3, 2014 Paid Members Share Posted September 3, 2014 Daniel Bernhardt is the main guy. Storyline is that a "kumite" tournament is being started up in a prison. Some shit like that. Poundland is great for picking up martial arts films that you've never heard of..As least there's some consistency, as he was the guy in parts 2 and 3. I think he took over the lead in another of the Van Damme franchises. I didn't mind Bernhardt. He's no Gary Daniels, but had some good looking kicks. If memory serves, he was a dancer that got cast in martial arts films because of his agility. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members bAzTNM#1 Posted September 3, 2014 Paid Members Share Posted September 3, 2014 Gary Daniels British accent bugs the shit out of me for some reason. It's like a fake English accent, when it's not fake. He really is very annoying in a Poundland one I watched a few weeks ago, starring "Robocop" Peter Weller, called "Forced to Fight". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Devon Malcolm Posted September 3, 2014 Author Paid Members Share Posted September 3, 2014 Jason Flemyng has an accent like that in Deep Rising. He puts on a Mockney accent even though he's actually a Londoner. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sphinx Posted September 4, 2014 Share Posted September 4, 2014 I watched the first Sin City for the first time the other day. I couldn't really get into it. It was a bit of a bore. Mickey Rourke's story was the best as he was great in it. Clive Owen's was pretty dull. It's hard to feel anything because there's no emotional attachment. In one sense, the film hits the comic book style brilliantly but on another it maybe hinders being able to emotionally invest in it. I've heard people say it's gory, but if it is I was desensitised to it. It was alright for a watch, just not as good as I'd been told and nothing that will stay in the memory particularly. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members John Matrix Posted September 4, 2014 Paid Members Share Posted September 4, 2014  As least there's some consistency, as he was the guy in parts 2 and 3. I think he took over the lead in another of the Van Damme franchises. I didn't mind Bernhardt. He's no Gary Daniels, but had some good looking kicks. If memory serves, he was a dancer that got cast in martial arts films because of his agility.   ...and his resemblance to Mr Van Damme i presume?    Gary Daniels is boss, if you're a fan of straight to video kung fu movies AND wrestling, then look no further than the almighty Firepower  Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Loki Posted September 4, 2014 Share Posted September 4, 2014 Jason Flemyng has an accent like that in Deep Rising. He puts on a Mockney accent even though he's actually a Londoner. Â The supreme example of that is Terence Stamp in The Limey. Â He was obviously being asked to put on a more cockney accent, and as a result his accent changes from one scene to the next. Â It's still a fantastic film, but the accent niggles. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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