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Legendary Pub Tales


WWFChilli

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There was a pub in Southampton I used to meet friends in, one day a bloke with a large backpack came in and order a lemonade or something similar. He then milked about two drinks for four hours while making several trips to the toilets. The landlord was keeping an eye on him as he thought the man might be a junkie or a rent boy or something else using the toilets.

 

Anyway the bloke leaves and the landlord can swear the backpack looks fuller than before, the landlord goes into the gents to discover the bloke had stolen an urinal. Took the urinal cake too.

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I think anyone from Liverpool who has heard of/drank in the Bluebell in Huyton will know many stories which defy common sense. The place was legendary and coincidentally, I was just talking to my old man about the place an hour or so ago. It's a bloody medical centre now. I'll throw a few stories in here when I get a minute.

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There was a pub in Southampton I used to meet friends in, one day a bloke with a large backpack came in and order a lemonade or something similar. He then milked about two drinks for four hours while making several trips to the toilets. The landlord was keeping an eye on him as he thought the man might be a junkie or a rent boy or something else using the toilets.

 

Anyway the bloke leaves and the landlord can swear the backpack looks fuller than before, the landlord goes into the gents to discover the bloke had stolen an urinal. Took the urinal cake too.

 

I'm sorry, what?! He stole a urinal? How fucking big was this backpack?

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Its strange as working in pubs for many years when I was younger I saw a lot of interesting stuff but so much of it isnt interesting past me and a few select people.

 

I think I will start with the most disgusting tale I have - While at Uni in Hertfordshire, I worked in the Blacksmiths Arms in St Albans. Not a pleasant place it was a relic of the old Hogsheads. Was very run down and relied on "cheap nights" and "pre night drinkers" to fill it most nights. Most weekends we would be pretty empty from 9.30/10PM onwards except the people who were just pubbing and the people who were kicked out of elsewhere. Anyways these coke heads came in one night and got the only guy who seemd normal to order pints. Now most of them were harmless but one was very very close to unconcious chewing his face off so to speak. Anyway they stayed till closing a popped off without a fuss which was amazing in that place. After they left we were cleaning down the bar when one of the guys im working with kept complaining of a funny smell. I thought it was the sink area where I had spilt some line cleaner and beer earlier on in the day. However after about 10 min it dawned on me to go check the toilet to see all I can describe as an anal explosion. This was to the point where it had hit the ceiling. We refused to clean, the cleaner threatend to walk out if she was left that again and in the end my boss had to get a specialist cleaner to do the whole toilet.

 

Not legendary to many people but shockingly disgusting.

 

 

Had plenty of great times in that bar however and will add more, the only other one to mention in my eyes is NYE 06->07

 

I was working and they had selected to have me as the only "big guy" on with one other fairly small passive bloke and 4 girls. Now this is normally ok as most people came in after 7.30 when the doorman got here but not on NYE everyone was pre loading here before going else where or home before parties so people were pissed at 5pm. Sadly the doorman didnt show up till 8.15. now between 7.30 and then I had the pleasure of seeing a guy try to smash an ashtray over another guys head. The guy who attacked a regular I threw out with no hesitation and probably a little too forceful (I was a 19 year old trying to impress the girls). After throwing out he tried to get back in past me by punching and spitting on me. Holding my ground with no agression as I knew police were on there way and didnt want to be seen pummeling the guy I held my ground while a pub full of people just watched. After the police got there and I had chilled out, they LET HIM GO. He basically wondered off to sort himself out. Now the best bit of the evening was (we were allowed a few drinks tonight) that a lot of the people in that bar decided to buy me a drink, in sympathy and in NYE spirirt. So what was orignaly a pint of coke with a JD in it quickly changed in ratio to the point 12PM, came I was steaming. After this we went for the closing couple of hours to another bar we knew the manager in whereby the bouncers had all heard an exaggerated story of my trouble followed by free drinks for me till closing time. From here I then managed in a massive taxi queue (at the station which is 1/2 mile out of town to) to get easily to the front and then two girls going my way get them to hop in the cab with my followed by them insisting to pay for the whole journey to there house which was literally seconds from mine so a

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There was a pub in Southampton I used to meet friends in, one day a bloke with a large backpack came in and order a lemonade or something similar. He then milked about two drinks for four hours while making several trips to the toilets. The landlord was keeping an eye on him as he thought the man might be a junkie or a rent boy or something else using the toilets.

 

Anyway the bloke leaves and the landlord can swear the backpack looks fuller than before, the landlord goes into the gents to discover the bloke had stolen an urinal. Took the urinal cake too.

 

I'm sorry, what?! He stole a urinal? How fucking big was this backpack?

 

I'd imagine one of those big camping bags. Anyway I found a link to the story here

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