Paid Members Kookoocachu Posted February 2, 2011 Paid Members Share Posted February 2, 2011 Oh my god Fat Boy That's horrific  I feel really sorry for you! Did you recover quickly?? Physically I mean. I hope you pumped fluids afterwards. Drinking them I mean, not pumping them out. I'm not helping her am I? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators neil Posted February 3, 2011 Moderators Share Posted February 3, 2011 I had a touch of food poisoning like that once too. It's almost comical looking back. As I turned around to puke the shit would come flying out hitting the bathroom wall, and then when I'd turn to try to fire the liquid jet of poo into the toilet I'd start puking all over the floor. Repeat this alternating grossness about 4 times. Â Also, never be afraid to ditch the underwear. Use them as a towel and then discard. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amazing_Red_Fan Posted February 3, 2011 Share Posted February 3, 2011 I had a shit at Uni a few months ago that was in the shape of a sideways view of a cock. I was really proud of myself. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Surf Digby Posted February 3, 2011 Paid Members Share Posted February 3, 2011 Ah yes, food poisoning. I had that about 13-14 years ago. I spent almost the entire day sat on the toilet, just reading and stuff as it just seemed pointless leaving the bathroom. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
matbro1984 Posted February 3, 2011 Share Posted February 3, 2011 This thread is fucking brilliant. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators PowerButchi Posted February 3, 2011 Moderators Share Posted February 3, 2011 When I was 19, after me an Helen finished, I lived in the world's poshest squat. Â It was on an old pound meter. Put a pound in, get power. Superb. Microwave, Kettle, Toaster. All powered off a shiny nugget. Big house, and a big three gents living in it. I'm 6'1" and 15st and that point, compared to 16 and a bit now, so I'm not small. Big Burge was far bigger. Fat fuck, he was. About 20odd st. Anyroad, one night, he had a superb dump in the bog and it won't fuck off. I'm trying to play big man and say "Pass us a carrier bag, I'll sort it out". Â So, I put an Iceland carrier over my right hand and go to push it down. I soon realise, when I touch pan water, it's got a bigger hole in it than Kerry Katona. I don't sell it though. Until my hand touches it. At which point I swallow a bit of sprog. I say the lav is blocked (it isn't but I called it a night), then get my baggy hand out of the bog, and then see chocolate fondue all over my hole bag/hand. I proceed to sing a rainbow all over the bog/bathroom, and all into Black Alan's shoes. Fucking disgusting. Â Point of the story? You may be a big man, but you're never big enough to deal with a fat man's cack. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fat Boy Mendoza Posted February 3, 2011 Share Posted February 3, 2011 Oh my god Fat Boy That's horrific  I feel really sorry for you! Did you recover quickly?? Physically I mean. I hope you pumped fluids afterwards. Drinking them I mean, not pumping them out. I'm not helping her am I?  I recovered physically (after about 3-4 days) but I don't think I have ever mentally recovered Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Shit Poster Posted February 3, 2011 Paid Members Share Posted February 3, 2011 Myself and a few mates have been in the pooh club for a few years. Taking pictures of our shit and sending them to each other only the very big ones. Anyway my Mates little brother he is 16 came back from living in New Zealand. I think the New Zealand diet and English diet clashed. He has gone for the biggest shit I have ever seen I can get hold of the picture and post it on here if people want to see it. I am not talking long or skinny or fat and long I am talking massive cow pat with a nice shine to it. It is truly the most amazing shit I have ever seen anyone do. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
patiirc Posted February 3, 2011 Share Posted February 3, 2011 Myself and a few mates have been in the pooh club for a few years. Taking pictures of our shit and sending them to each other only the very big ones. Anyway my Mates little brother he is 16 came back from living in New Zealand. I think the New Zealand diet and English diet clashed. He has gone for the biggest shit I have ever seen I can get hold of the picture and post it on here if people want to see it. I am not talking long or skinny or fat and long I am talking massive cow pat with a nice shine to it. It is truly the most amazing shit I have ever seen anyone do. Â Â Crawlingwest pictured earlier Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Shit Poster Posted February 3, 2011 Paid Members Share Posted February 3, 2011 I had no idea who the person above was i right click checked properties and it seems its Gillian Mckieth. I still don't know who that was so i googled it took me to wiki and she seems to be some older Scottish lady who makes up diets. Any way what i am getting at is patdfb what the fuck has that got to do with a giant shit? Â Â Edit: I defiantly would. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
matbro1984 Posted February 3, 2011 Share Posted February 3, 2011 I have been up all night with crippling gut pain - the GP says I have chronic constipation and has sent me home with laxatives, cocodamol for the pain, and buscopan to stop the cramps*. If the pain I'm in serves as any indication then a noteworthy ( albeit drug-assisted) shit is on the cards. Â * Actually, my wife is a doctor and made the diagnosis, but going to the GP is a formality as she obviously cannot prescribe stuff for me. Â What makes this situation especially pleasant is that we don't have doors in the house at the moment. Anywhere. They're all being sanded and delivered next week. So my thunderdump is going to permeate the whole house Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members air_raid Posted February 3, 2011 Paid Members Share Posted February 3, 2011 You might break Bono's record, it sounds. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Kookoocachu Posted February 3, 2011 Paid Members Share Posted February 3, 2011 I have been up all night with crippling gut pain - the GP says I have chronic constipation and has sent me home with laxatives, cocodamol for the pain, and buscopan to stop the cramps*. If the pain I'm in serves as any indication then a noteworthy ( albeit drug-assisted) shit is on the cards. * Actually, my wife is a doctor and made the diagnosis, but going to the GP is a formality as she obviously cannot prescribe stuff for me.  What makes this situation especially pleasant is that we don't have doors in the house at the moment. Anywhere. They're all being sanded and delivered next week. So my thunderdump is going to permeate the whole house Watch your intake of the codine for gods sake or it will get worse. Your wife has probably told you that though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bigfoote Posted February 3, 2011 Share Posted February 3, 2011 I have been up all night with crippling gut pain - the GP says I have chronic constipation and has sent me home with laxatives, cocodamol for the pain, and buscopan to stop the cramps*. If the pain I'm in serves as any indication then a noteworthy ( albeit drug-assisted) shit is on the cards. * Actually, my wife is a doctor and made the diagnosis, but going to the GP is a formality as she obviously cannot prescribe stuff for me.  What makes this situation especially pleasant is that we don't have doors in the house at the moment. Anywhere. They're all being sanded and delivered next week. So my thunderdump is going to permeate the whole house Watch your intake of the codine for gods sake or it will get worse. Your wife has probably told you that though.  Speaking from personal experience *cringe*, Kookoo is absolutely right. That stuff will screw with your digestive system in a heartbeat. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Kookoocachu Posted February 3, 2011 Paid Members Share Posted February 3, 2011 My poor little Buggy he's definitely got some sort of little tummy bug, we've gone through 13 nappies today, all of which has the type of diarrhoea that instantly burns his lovely bottom skin He asked to go for his nap earlier and just asked to be put to bed. I was going to keep him up for a bit, make him a little more tired so he might have had a more restful sleep but poor little man he mustn't feel good. Dosed up with Calpol, lots of kisses and his Angry Birds toy and now in his bed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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