JLM

Collision round up. Spoilered to try and keep this post even slightly manageable in length. I do appreciate reviewing the older shows might be screaming into the void a little, but I'm in the habit of putting some thoughts down after I watch the shows now. Also helps to break them up when I have a backlog and let them sit a little bit, so they don't all blur together. My hope is also that I can refer back to my own posts at the end of the year to remember what was good and actually nominate some stuff for the awards this time, rather than going "ohhh yeah that was good wasn't it?" reading everyone else's picks. Collision steadily got better as April went on. As @LaGoosh says it is in such a good place as the B Show right now. Good mix of snappy promos, reminders and smaller developments for the main ongoing stories and a consistently strong set of matches. Collision 06/04/24 Collision 14/04/24 Battle of the Belts 14/04/24 Collision 20/04/24 Copeland/Briscoe/Kingston vs Top Flight and Andretti was a cracking opener. Great choice to do the whole thing at 100mph, crowd red hot throughout, and it was immensely satisfying watching Action Andretti get smashed by everyone's finishing moves at the end. Delightful squash from Hobbs against an especially sorry looking jobber. POWERHOUSE HOBBS TO WIN THE IWGP TITLE ON DYNAMITE??? Probably not like. I have to be honest, I thought Jericho's promo about the FTW title match was good. I hate the direction, I would rather Hook be doing many other things as I've stated repeatedly, but Jericho's disingenous tone here (and how many fucking times he said 'The Learning Tree') were spot on. Acclaimed vs Gunns was great as well! Frantic pace, wall to wall shenanigans. Mind-boggling how they were able to time everything so well with the interferences and misdirections when the whole thing was done as a sprint. Best thing The Acclaimed have done in weeks, and it would be a throwback match against the Ass Boys wouldn't it? BCG will make fantastic unified trios champs, I hope those titles become relevant and we get belting Collision main events for them. Toni Storm promo was excellent. A lot more serious than the usual Timeless Toni promo, really cool to see she can do that whilst still playing this whacky character. Bunkhouse brawl was yet another belter on this show. Nigel was hilarious during this. His Clamdigger disclaimer, claiming Hobbs was not 100% in his fight with Moxley because he had a "match" earlier, he was relentless with it. Credit to this match and the very satisfying BCC post-match revenge that they were able to power through the ever-annoying "we want tables" chant. That chant is "What?"-esque to me at this point. They're putting on a barn burner here guys, shut up about bloody tables. That said, the crowd overall was brilliant throughout this episode, so I'll let them off this one time. Excellent go home promo from Danielson afterwards. Hirsch/Skye Blue was an OK little TV match with an unfortunate slip from Hirsch at the end. The big flipping German suplex type thing off the top from Hirsch looked devastating. Main event was incredible! Phenomenal six man tag, crowd once again red hot for the duration. Loved Pac being ready for the Bucks sneak attack at the start after Dynamite. I'm a sucker for little nods to previous matches like that. I also like how The Bucks do cowardice on Okada's behalf a lot of the time, like they'll pull him out of the ring by the legs to get him out of trouble etc. rather than him running away. But yeah, all six on fire in this one, amazing match to round off a near perfect episode of Collision.

Wrestlemania gave me one hell of a backlog. Still not up to Dynasty yet but almost there. Rampage round up: Rampage 05/04/24 Skipped Malakai Black vs Chris Daniels. Roddy vs London Lightning was loads of fun because the London, Ontario crowd really got behind their man. Similar to Jake Haeger in Oklahoma, it massively elevated the match and made it a surprise highlight of the show. She's been around for ages but, after watching ROH, Leyla Hirsch challenging Julia felt like an NXT call up. Serena Deeb vs Trish Adora was solid. I hope Deeb gets something to do soon, I'm a fan. Deeb should definitely keep using the Paradise Lock, it's a perfect fit for her. Appreciated Riccaboni namedropping Milano Collection AT. Saraya and Harley are having such a blast doing these Rampage skits. Those two taking the piss out of Alex Marvez while Zak Knight gurned in the background looking like an Aardman Animations character was quite a scene. He also did a promo. Main event was good stuff. Doing this elimination style instead of a fatal four way made it much better. I knew Danny Garcia was winning but the order was harder to call. Rare for me to credit Action Andretti with anything, but he and Garcia had great chemistry and the ending with them as the final two was very strong. Rampage 12/04/24 Pissed off Orange Cassidy was great, as was John Silver being total dickhead. The Chuck Taylor tease was good. I bought it. Best Friends break up is so sad. Leyla Hirsch/Julia Hart wasn't much of a match. Was hoping Hirsch would get a little flurry and throw some suplexes at least. Ah well. Cool Hand vs Zak Knight, the big match at last. This was good but it didn't have heat because nobody watches Rampage. A real shame as Cool Hand put in a great fiery performance and I have loved following this saga. Good main event. I was hoping Jay White doing his thing would make a Matt Sydal match more engaging for me and it did. Love me some Jay White. It sure was a Rampage alright. Rampage 20/04/24 Komander vs Isaiah Cassidy vs Lee Johnson vs Rob Van Dam is extremely Rampage-y. 4/20 elimination match on 4/20. Because RVD smokes weed, you see. I hope these four way elimination matches on Rampage continue, infinitely preferable to a fatal 4 way. This was fun. Crowd very hot for RVD, Isaiah and Quen being annoying dickheads to add more heat, cool to see Komander and RVD have a solo showdown at the end. They didn't quite nail everything but they were close enough and were trying some ambitious stuff. RVD's AEW appearances are a consistent delight. I love it. Lee Johnson was also present. Yuka Sakazaki vs Emi Sakura. Was so happy when I saw the graphic for this match, but it was ruined almost immediately by a horrendous looking accidental fall from the top rope to the floor which legit injured Sakazaki's leg. Should have stopped it there, but she seemed determined to walk it off and finish the thing. It did allow Sakura to show us again what a seasoned old pro she is though, throwing cans of Woo Energy about, teasing throwing them into the crowd and denying them, jaw jacking with the ref etc. It was awkward, but if Yuka was determined to continue it was still very quick thinking to buy her recovery time. A real shame and I hope Sakazaki is OK. Ruby and Cool Hand pregnancy announcement was just lovely. Main event was fine. I love Daddy Magic but I don't care about Kyle O'Reilly vs The Undisputed Kingdom AT ALL.

My stalkers travel in sync they on timers They be movin’ in herds, Gallimimus

I haven’t hit the worst I can do yet. I feel there is a depth these can still sink to. This is my truth now. Do not silence me.

Biters be stalkin’ Copying my voice like I’m Christopher Walken Please stop stalkin’ I don’t need that noise like cinema talkin’ You should stop stalkin’ Take your cue from me, that’s a tip, no chalkin’ At the pub stalkin’ Lookin’ into Stella like Stephen Hawking.

You’re really starting to sound like someone who doesn’t support are boys.

They be stalkin’ Challenging my faith like Richard Dawkins Fuck these stalkers Starin’ ‘cause I’m lookin’ like a snack, that’s Walkers Whole gang stalkin’ That’s a lot’o’mans I ain’t talkin ‘bout the Balkans. Bars for you there. Free of charge.

I wrote my own social media nostalgia poem a while ago. Most will be too scared to share or repost it but like if u agree. We set off for school in the morning We respected our teachers in class Everyone these days is vegan My lunch was a big bowl of glass I don't like change or progress I long for those rose-tinted days Nowadays people get all offended When we deny basic rights to the gays The kids now all play on the Fortnites We used to play down at the beach If you disagree with my transphobia You're attacking my freedom of speech I didn't like that advert Where the family had brown skin When will white people get on the Telly? So I feel like I can fit in? My parents both beat me daily It didn't do me any harm I share credit for both World War Wins Though I never took up arms I'm nostalgic for a time Which never really existed Things were better whenever that was, Now everything's PC and twisted My opinions are all being censored An oppressed and unheard straight white bloke. If anyone questions my world view. I let them all know they are woke. I wear my poppy with pride I bet someone out there's offended There's no evidence for this anywhere, But this is the year Christmas ended I read the Daily Mail To keep me scared and angry "Everyone's offended by everything!" I scream As I complain about the colour of that family. I voted for Boris and Brexit So desperate to leave the EU At least I was for those few months, When Nigel told lies on the news. I don't know too much about Covid, But it’s definitely young people's fault. They keep telling me I’m a gammon, When I say immigration should halt. Share if you agree with me That things were better then. I don't know when that was exactly But we need to get back there again.

I will try to come up with more, but RVD and Sabu vs Hayabusa and Jinsei Shinzaki from ECW Heatwave 98 is a big one for me. It wasn’t the best work from any of the four involved but I thought Hayabusa was the coolest wrestler I had ever seen. He remains in my top 5 favourites of all time. Sent me down the tape trading route and led me to Toryumon, which I then watched religiously for a number of years, and more broadly got me into exploring Japanese wrestling as a whole.

Oh also, this is not my dog so apologies for veering off topic, but I got to meet and feed some tapirs the other week and it was a magical experience. I think at my core I’m a guy who appreciates a long snout. I should add that they don’t live in this little shed. They have a massive outdoor habitat, this is just where they come in to sleep if it’s cold, to eat and to do signings/meet and greets with fans.

Her use of emblazoned there is extremely cromulent.

Yeah at the end of her AEW run she had good matches with Kris Statlander which required a lot more than kick -> Jaded, but Statlander is awesome so it was hard to tell how much Jade had improved there too. I’m sure they’ll get her where she needs to be but yeah, even if she improves enough to be able to do a 25 minute epic I don’t think she ever needs to be doing that. I’d book her Lesnar style where it’s throwing bombs from the opening bell and it feels like it could end at any time.

Good to see Jade Cargill is booked for a house show this weekend. Hope she gets to do a lot of these. If she can get to the point where she can work a solid ten minute match consistently I don’t think she needs much more.

I assume after the dissolution of the JAS that Cool Hand will not be required to hand over the baby to Jericho so he can drain its life essence.