Slapnut Posted September 3, 2016 Share Posted September 3, 2016 (edited) I was in the gym yesterday when, out of nowhere, a fucking bird appeared and almost flew into my face. I almost threw the dumbbell I was holding at it. Being deathly afraid of birds, I plonked my weights down and decided that was enough exercise for the day, even though I'd only arrived 5 minutes earlier. Ā I'm terrified to go back now in case they haven't managed to get rid of it. Edited September 3, 2016 by Slapnut Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
simonworden Posted September 4, 2016 Share Posted September 4, 2016 (edited) I feel the pain for the failed call, happened once during an evening walk when I forst moved to Asia, still getting used to the food. Pretty much for tough clenches and I thought I'd make it home as at that time i knew of nowhere to go outside mine. Sadly on the last cover with 0.5 k to go I burst with a squirt stream all down my beige jeans. Luckily it was night so I shimmied along the wall home. Ā In Feb I was in Cambodia on a long distance bus 6 hours. We stopped half way I'd preplopped in the morning. Decided to have a condensed milk ice coffee a lovely treat but deadly for the bowels. On the final approach into Phnom Penh I started keeling over and knew it was inevitable but as the development had gone from rural to small town like I thought I could make it. Sadly after am hour of struggle and 4 shockingly strong immodium I was just holding off the inevitable I'm going to shit myself in front of my girlfriend and 45 tourists providing a creamy shitty smell for their final hour of travel. My other half being the awesome tag partner she is managed to get a se Asian bus to do an unscheduled stop for a foreigner (no easy feat I tell you unless your a persuasive local) the bus driver found a westernised restaurant with an AC non squat crapper. I ran through while the bus watched on and I think pushed a mother and child about to use the loo out the way to sit and do my business in the final hour. Never have I felt so happy. It was a shockingly short session considering the pain. I strutted out the restaurant paying the woman who ran it 5 dollars for the damage and proudly back into the bus, nobody looked annoyed we all knew the other option. Edited September 4, 2016 by simonworden Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members SpursRiot2012 Posted September 4, 2016 Paid Members Share Posted September 4, 2016 Simon, you seem to know lots about Asian. I'm going to Siem Reap at the end of next week. Help me out here. What should I be paying for stuff? Like tuk-tuks, food and drink? I think were mainly bringing Cambodian currency, not USD. Cheers. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
simonworden Posted September 4, 2016 Share Posted September 4, 2016 I'll try to remember to pm you a more detailed message tomorrow but in shortish Ā Bring USD cambodian money is pretty much worthless and just used as change in the big cities. Although you can use it everything will be quoted in USD making life harder. They'll want USD for the visa too. Ā Some reap is a little more expensive but still cheap. Never more than 2 dollars for a local draught beer. Never more than 5 for a cocktail unless your somewhere ready special Ā 20 dollars should be your target price for tuk tuks. If you arrange one yourself for a trip get the name of the driver And give him your name. Others will try to poach you. Ā But if you are fit and healthy doing the temples by bicycle or electric bike looks like a great day. Bring loads of water. Ā Food prices vary but 10 dollars a meal in the nicer restaurants is to be expected. Ā Haggle at the markets, start as low as 40% of the quoted price. Ā In terms of eating and drinking there's some cool quieter places in the new kings square 'check the name' but it's on the side of the hard rock cafe. I love 'the old wooden house's for a chilled cocktail too. Ā Oh drinks etc from vendors should be a dollar maybe dollar 50 max. Biggest rip off is the little restaurants in the temple complex. Ā Finally working off the top of my head I don't know if you're going alone but if a local girl comes up to you being very friendly establish why fairly politely and quickly or you'll never get rod of a working girl without running away if you don't realise who she is and seem interested. Ā I live in Saigon Vietnam so Cambodia is just a border hop so know a decent amount about what's going on if you were interested in the how's and whys. Ā Think I covered everything but if you do have any questions feel free to pm me Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members SpursRiot2012 Posted September 5, 2016 Paid Members Share Posted September 5, 2016 Thanks. That's all good stuff. Guess we will bring usd. $20 for a tuktuk seems expensive! Apparently our hotel has a free tuktuk service to the temple/ruin thing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
simonworden Posted September 5, 2016 Share Posted September 5, 2016 That's great I'd check if it's a drop off service or they take you round, 20 USD as the all day rate it's basically the only job these guys do all day. Ā I really liked the temples but both times been forced away after 6 hours, first I'd been on a bender in sihanoukvilles and was sick second the gf just couldn't deal with the heat. Ā Are you going anywhere else but Siem Reap? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members SpursRiot2012 Posted September 5, 2016 Paid Members Share Posted September 5, 2016 (edited) No. Siem Reap is just a four night stop off. We've been travelling all around Asia the past few weeks. Actually, I kind of wish we had longer in Cambodia and less time on Singapore since Singapore seems to be mainly shopping! I wanna check out Pub Street. I hear the pharmacies there will sell you anything Edited September 5, 2016 by SpursRiot2012 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members bAzTNM#1 Posted September 5, 2016 Paid Members Share Posted September 5, 2016 (edited) What's Cambodia like these days? Still love us British and Americans? Ā EDIT: Another thing, you'll never get a sadder end to a film than "The Killing Fields". Bursting out crying so I was. Probably on Youtube. Ā Ā Cambodian guy won a "Best Supporting Actor" Oscar then was shot dead soon after it. He wasn't even an actor, he was just some doctor that shown up at a screen-test with someone. Edited September 5, 2016 by bAzTNM#1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AnotherCrapUsername Posted September 5, 2016 Share Posted September 5, 2016 No. Siem Reap is just a four night stop off. We've been travelling all around Asia the past few weeks. Actually, I kind of wish we had longer in Cambodia and less time on Singapore since Singapore seems to be mainly shopping! I wanna check out Pub Street. I hear the pharmacies there will sell you anything Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
simonworden Posted September 5, 2016 Share Posted September 5, 2016 No. Siem Reap is just a four night stop off. We've been travelling all around Asia the past few weeks. Actually, I kind of wish we had longer in Cambodia and less time on Singapore since Singapore seems to be mainly shopping! I wanna check out Pub Street. I hear the pharmacies there will sell you anything Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members John Matrix Posted September 5, 2016 Paid Members Share Posted September 5, 2016 Just witnessed something incredible...Ā Ā Having a piss at work, when I heard a mobile phone ringing from one of the cubicles.Ā He'll never answer that, I thought to myself... Ā But he did!Ā Took a call from the confines of a public shitpot and get this, he fucking FLUSHED, bold as brass right in the middle of his conversation.Ā Done me in that has, im fucking staggered. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cobra_gordo Posted September 5, 2016 Share Posted September 5, 2016 Just witnessed something incredible...Ā Ā Having a piss at work, when I heard a mobile phone ringing from one of the cubicles.Ā He'll never answer that, I thought to myself... Ā But he did!Ā Took a call from the confines of a public shitpot and get this, he fucking FLUSHED, bold as brass right in the middle of his conversation.Ā Done me in that has, im fucking staggered. Ā I've never understood this. Been in the bogs at work a few times and heard somebody on the shitter having a full conversation, flushing and walking out all whilst on the phone. It's normally business chat too which is even worse. Bet person on the phone is chuffed that they're being multi-tasked with someone wiping their arse. I can't even walk out of a cubicle if there are folk outside. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Slapnut Posted September 5, 2016 Share Posted September 5, 2016 I heard a good one a few months ago. Bloke comes into the toilets and sits in the cubicle next to me, so I was already uncomfortable. Suddenly, his phone rings: Ā "What? You've just seen me come in here for a shit, why are you ringing me? Yes, the easter egg in the fridge is mine. Yes, you can have it". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
UK Kat Von D Posted September 5, 2016 Share Posted September 5, 2016 (edited) That story about suddenly needing a shit with no toilet in sight fucking terrified me. I've luckily never had anything like that. Closest I have ever been was when I was on the verge of pissing myself so stopped to relive myself in a bush. I looked up and realised a primary school had just let out and I was stood in a bush with my dick out. As the kids walked in my direction I nearly broke my bladder pushing it all out so I could conceal myself in time. Ā Luckily I escaped before anyone saw me and I'm not on any registers Edited September 5, 2016 by UK Kat Von D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maxwells Helmet Blisters Posted September 5, 2016 Share Posted September 5, 2016 Oi oi oi! OOOOSHH! I remember that! You then wiped your japs eye with a dock leaf for hygiene purposes but gave me more blisters because of some rogue nettle that was attached to the leaf. I remember, because the night before you had me buried into a plethora of pink, dark orifices with the texture of a slug and one in particular, stank like Plockton Harbour, Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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