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Online Communities vs Face to Face


Duke

  

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So there's a conversation I've been having with my friends about communities and friendships, specifically online ones and whether they can be as deep and real as face to face ones (I have fun friends). They generally argue that you can't match face to face with online (even with skype etc). I've argued otherwise, and have used examples of threads here to prove my point (no specifics, I obviously don't want them to know I'm on a wrestling forum).

It also occurs to me that none of the people I'm having this conversation with have been part of online communities, and so it occurs to me that there is little better place to ask about this than here, on the UKFF, and to you fine people.

So here it is, can you have proper, deep relationships online only, or can they only supplement real life?

I'm not talking a holistic "not seeing anyone irl ever" but whether it's possible to be of a community that is as deep and rewarding as a non virtual one (or indeed online friendships).

This is probably a bit serious and dry for OT, but I thought it could be interesting.

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Communities, for sure. This place is a proper community. It's different from an irl one but that doesn't make it less valid. Deep one-to-one relationships on the other hand, I am a bit more sceptical. I find it hard to believe you could really connect on that deeper level through only online communication.

 

So I think you're really asking two different questions there.

 

Edit: whilst they can work, I don't think you can cut out real life interaction completely and be mentally healthy. I don't think we're wired that way. You need genuine human contact. So if you have to make it binary question then I'mma have to say no.

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For me an online only friendship is the equivalent of a pen pal with more immediacy, it boggles my mind when I see Catfish or something and there are people who refer to someone as their boy/girlfriend and they've never met them.

 

Having people from all over who may not have much in common with you giving their perspective on things and chatting is fun and useful but for me it's nothing like a real friendship. Sorry to disappoint you all.

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I've just completed part of a uni assignment on this very subject.  There are definitely some major positives for online communities; one being the previously noted immediacy, and another being a reverse of that in that you can take time to consider your answer when communicating online.  Whereas IRL you wouldn't have a pause as it would be awkward.

 

On the whole online communities can have massive benefits but I don't think they can replace human interaction entirely.

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I've benefitted hugely from online communities such as this with my issues, I think the sense of anonymity that comes with it is a way of letting go and being more honest and open than I can with friends.  Of course, nothing beats a good chat over a coffee with a friends but there are plusses from both interactions.

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I've benefitted hugely from online communities such as this with my issues, I think the sense of anonymity that comes with it is a way of letting go and being more honest and open than I can with friends.  Of course, nothing beats a good chat over a coffee with a friends but there are plusses from both interactions.

 

I don't have a single friend who I can just call to go out for a cup of tea — I think I'd be brown bread by now if it weren't for this forum. Take that for what it's worth, no pressure.

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I've benefitted hugely from online communities such as this with my issues, I think the sense of anonymity that comes with it is a way of letting go and being more honest and open than I can with friends.  Of course, nothing beats a good chat over a coffee with a friends but there are plusses from both interactions.

 

I don't have a single friend who I can just call to go out for a cup of tea — I think I'd be brown bread by now if it weren't for this forum. Take that for what it's worth, no pressure.

 

I think I only said it because I met a mate last night, first time in ages I've actually socialised!

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I've benefitted hugely from online communities such as this with my issues, I think the sense of anonymity that comes with it is a way of letting go and being more honest and open than I can with friends.  Of course, nothing beats a good chat over a coffee with a friends but there are plusses from both interactions.

 

I don't have a single friend who I can just call to go out for a cup of tea — I think I'd be brown bread by now if it weren't for this forum. Take that for what it's worth, no pressure.

 

I think I only said it because I met a mate last night, first time in ages I've actually socialised!

 

Yeah, was agreeing — if socialising is tough/impossible, online communities take on a special place, and this mofo doesn't socialise.

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I love seeing how people are doing around here these days. While I've never met some of the people I really like, I always like to extend a hand if someone's feeling rough on something. But I think I do that now, knowing I have relationships away from the forum. I would be typing something very different if this was a few years back, when I had some problems and cut myself off from people socially and got too addicted and attached to the forum. I think balance be the best key.

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I've benefitted hugely from online communities such as this with my issues, I think the sense of anonymity that comes with it is a way of letting go and being more honest and open than I can with friends.  Of course, nothing beats a good chat over a coffee with a friends but there are plusses from both interactions.

 

I'm honest on here, but can also get torn into more because people can consider your text and rip it apart more. That's not just here, you see it in all forms of online communities and it's natural. In real life, there's far less of that either because you can back-and-forth easier and because it's easier to show a good vibe and there'll be less hostile responses when you 'click'. Actually, I say I'm honest, but you're more likely to take a step back and consider what you're about to post on here whereas in real life it's more immediate so you say whatever's on your mind more immiedately.

 

It's not to say that online friendships can't be meaningful, but I don't think they can be as deep as person-to-person because you can't share the same experiences. I'd want to meet the person online if I clicked enough with them eventually and it would probably be a bit of a letdown in the back of my mind if I couldn't. A good substitute if person-to-person's not an option though.

 

Just read Chest's post - definitely, we're not wired that way.

 

Edit: there can be some pretty negative responses which can turn hostile (though I've noticed this has dropped over the last few years or so). I tend to think that a lot of the people may be nice enough in real life or pretty shy and this is their way of venting - there's no real repercussions. When you actually trust or respect someone through face-to-face interaction, you're much less likely to talk in that tone.

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The fact is, this forum is bloody great. The reason in my opinion is, you get the constant humour machines, you get the complex life issues, the neurotic, erotic and psychotic. You get the ones who dislike us on certain days, and the one we dislike most days. The fact is, we get to know each other, we judge, laugh and cry about what we share.

Even e-bowler has his place in a way, that's why I love thins place, even if it's usually from the bog.

I personally love you all, in a way, you twats.

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Really thought provoking responses here guys, thanks.

Chest, I think youre right and I think I worded my OP unhelpfully. I wasn't trying to suggest removing human socialising entirely, but rather if a deep community can exist that rivals irl. I'll try to reword the OP.

 

Edit: I've also added a second question, based on Chest's point.

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I find in real life, I just take the piss out of everything. I'm more sensitive and open online. There are people I've never met who I talk to about stuff I'd never talk to my real family and friends about. I think perhaps that I would open up more to IRL folks if I didn't have Internet people though, which is a strange thought. Online friends are a bit like therapy, I suppose.

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