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Xmas gift last minute panic buying extravaganza!


Nostalgia Nonce

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Right, I'm in a pickle. I still need to get my missus something for Christmas. Because of the house move and the trip to Switzerland we're both skint and so she's insisted on us just getting each other a token gift with a £10 limit.

The problem is that she's awkward as fook to get presents for and I'm all out of ideas, and I lay myself open to your (probably wildly inappropriate) suggestions.

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I've bought an obscene amount of peanuts today for the work Christmas party. I don't think I have £40 left in the bank.

 

So far the guidelines are no perfume, no make-up, no clothing, no hats, no jewellery. What else are women into? Is there a boxed set of Eldorado? She liked that.

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Surf, wrap yourself in a bow and cover your intimate areas in cranberry sauce. How could anyone resist that?! The sauce and bow should cost under a fiver. As you've got a £20 budget, might as well get the sauce from the Taste The Difference range.

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I'm with Brewster and Wretch. You're a handsome, charismatic chap with an impressive appendage if rumours be true, so your best bet is to hang mistletoe from your naval, fluff yourself, and wake your lass up with this coming towards her face.

 

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Surfs Caucasian Yule Log with hulking sprouts.

Failing that, Boots are doing lovely, cheap specials on No.7. I got my missus a lovely set for €15.00 for her stocking. Which would probably estimate around £10 proper money. Ta dah.

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