Royal Rumble Reviews

[air_raid]

Good stuff. You make it sound better than I remember it being, but I still don't want to watch it again. I remember being pleased though that Del Rio won because I hadn't seen it coming. I genuinely assumed Cena was winning to set up a title match with Punk who would be taking the title at Elimination Chamber, given how much build they'd done for a Punk/Cena match which didn't get blown off until they resurrected the issue in the summer.... and then carried on for 18 months on and off.

 

Miz def. Randy Orton for the WWE Championship (I have no recollection, but I think the Nexus did something to someone at some point during the match. Or was it Alex Riley. No, I think it was Nexus. Eh, who cares)

 

It was Nexus distracting to enable Punk to hit Go To Sleep on Orton, seemingly for no reason, but as we were come to find out later, for a VERY good reason.

 

King Sheamus

 

Wow, the things you forget. This is about four weeks before Hunter came back and beat him like a little bitch, isn't it?

 

But yeah, my real reason for yours being my favourite review so far....

 

[Joey Joe Joe Jr]

The Corre corre-ner Punk and attack him

 

 

Superb.

[thicko]

Regarding the Alex Riley elimination, and Miz's lack of acknowledgement on commentary, wasn't it accidental? I think they showed it in a replay a couple of minutes later and then rehashed the Cena elimination.

[Nexus]

Yeah. The Miz continued his (what I assume to be) rehearsed commentary, until he realised that Riley had actually been eliminated - he makes a couple of comments about how well Riley is doing, despite Riley not being in.

[PunkStep]

I loved the 2011 Rumble match. In fact, the entire ppv was top notch. That said, I really didn't like the Hornswoggle stuff but as HG says the crowd lapped it up, plus it broke up the extra long rumble I suppose.

 

Fantastic job, HG. Best review yet for me.

[ShortOrderCook]

• 
  

ROYAL RUMBLE 2006

 

 

 

It's the Royal Rumble show that fucked certain areas of the IWC up the arse and gave them bad aids. With the Royal Rumble itself taking place in the middle of the card, behind John Cena taking back his WWE title from Edge a mere few weeks after he'd lost it and that same IWC rejoiced and with Kurt Angle defending his newly won World Heavyweight title against IWC target of hatred MENRY and winning with a bloody roll-up of all things, to finish the show, rather than the Rumble. The result of the Rumble didn't fill them with much joy either, but we'll get back to that later.

 

First of all, this needs some background. Over the months leading up this event the WWE was completely turned on its head due to a series of unfortunate events and almost seemed like they may be looking to try some new things and taking a chance on some new talent as a result. The unfortunate, untimely, tragic death of Eddie Guerrero occurred which seemed to hit the entire wrestling community harder than any previous passing due to him being at the top of the card at the time of it happening and in the middle of an angle with Batista, as well as being quite the loveable character of course. Speaking of Batista, he was the long running World Heavyweight Champion and had been struck with injury and forced to relinquish the strap, causing a tsunami of tears from the live audience in the process. GM Teddy Long decided to have a Battle Royal on Smackdown to crown a new champion and Kurt Angle invited himself over from Raw, ignoring seemingly any rules and he won to claim the World belt, last eliminating the man responsible for Big Daves injury, Mean Mark Henry, setting up their match for this show. Which gets me thinking, maybe they should have used that opportunity to have the Royal Rumble prize be the vacant World title, considering Angle (a Raw guy) won it and how it all went down anyway.

 

The other big story leading into the show was we had a brand new WWE Champion. In the aftermath of New Years Revolutions WWE title Elimination Chamber match, after John Cena retained his WWE title lasting the whole match, Edge smelled opportunity and shocked the World as he cashed in his Money in the Bank contract and bagged the WWE belt for the first time of what would go on to be 648 reigns and Raw and WWE in general suddenly had an incredibly fresh feeling about it all.

 

So, could be quite an exciting Rumble stemming from that perhaps? Who's in there - we've got Triple H, Randy Orton, Big Show and Rey Mysterio drawing their numbers from the famous Royal Rumble gold tumbler and Rey seems to think that Eddie has interfered beyond the grave with his number, the rascal. Hmmm. Lets get to it and see what goes down.

 

Lilian Garcia is in the ring and about to explain the rules of the match as standard, but oh no, not just yet. I think we need a good old fashioned Royal Rumble cheer to get this started...

 

 

Ready? OK!

 

It's JOHNNY! KENNY! MITCH! NICKY! MIKEY! YEEEAAAH! I love these guys! I'd forgotten all about them just about and that they did this before the Rumble. I actually absolutely love me some 2005 and early 2006 Raw, it was great telly. Spirit Squad had become one of my most favourite acts in all of WWE, they cracked me up. I'd also been particularly enjoying Mickie James' introduction and performances in her angle with Trish Stratus, particularly at this point in time where Ashley Massaro had been brought into the mix. And of course, truly hers is a butt that won't quit. I'd also been digging Edge as WWE champion. I was generally very much enjoying my WWE at this point and i always get excited come Rumble time.

 

"The Rumble! The Rumble! 30 guys in all, The Rumble! The Rumble! 29 will fall. So let's get it under way, Spirit Squad say hey, hey! We're big, we're bad, we're victory bound. We'll knock this Rumble, into the ground. S P I R I T! SPIRIT SQUAD! WOOO! YEEAAAH! YEAH!"

 

Let's hear it for the Spirit Squad! Damn, what a way to get this thing started. 100% amped up now. Fuck The Shield, we need The Spirit Squad back.

 

 

START.GAME. It's Triple H. This is big, he's a favourite, they're starting this thing out big. The Royal Rumble set is dead sexy here, following the theme set out in the ads it's looking like a Gladiator arena theme complete with big fuck off doors for the entrance with two dressed up dudes to open it like they used to do at King of the Ring. As they open the doors to reveal Triple H standing it looks totally badass. As he makes his way to the ring Mickey Cole reminds us that only two superstars have ever entered at numero uno and gone on to win the whole thing, although the history books only appear to list one, in Shawn Michaels. King and Cole question if Trips will be able to do what his mate did. He's a favourite, surely he'll feature in the main event of 'Mania so, he might y'know. He just might. The music hits for entrant #2 and it's music i don't remember him having - 'What you gonna do when we come for you...'

 

 

It's Rey Mysterio! Complete with Eddie low-rider, Eddie t-shirt, Eddie armbands, Eddie briefs, Eddie socks, etc. You can see where this is going. Cole and King proceed to make a bunch of comments that the cynical type of IWC member would in hindsight moan completely telegraphs the end of this match and in fairness, you'd probably be able to make a pretty accurate predicition off the back of them. As Rey rolls in a warm smile comes across The Games face (who's rocking the Lemmy Motorhead mo' here - extra badass points for that) which may be because he's fondly remembering Eddie or because he's looking forward to mixing it up with Rey as i do believe this is the first time they'd have ever encountered each other on WWE TV, which is quite cool and something i remember looking forward to watching this the first time around.

As the bell sounds and the action starts the crowd sound VERY loud, they are well into this and a massive 'EDDIE! EDDIE!' chant breaks out. Which gets me to thinking, this Rumble would have been oh so very different had he not perished. I wonder what would have happened had he not and Batista didn't get injured? Perhaps their angle (which appeared to be a long term, episodic one) would have continued right through to here and Eddie may have even won, still remaining 'matey' by this point and going on to challenge Big Dave at WrestleMania and turning on him somewhere in between. Which would have been pretty cool actually, oh well.

 

The King of Kings and The King of Mystery have a nice little exchange and Trippers ends up in the corner and suffers a ten punch dedicated to Eddie (fucking hell). Trips gets him over the ropes and almost eliminates the little chihuahua but Rey counters by dropping Trips neck on the top rope and then proceeds to springboard dropkick his way back into the ring and almost hit a 619 as the first 10 second countdown begins to introduce entrant #3...

 

 

Oh wait, that's not quite right...

 

 

It's Simon Dean, making 2 out of 3 entrants to arrive on wheels. Will there be any more? Stay tuned to find out! Something tells me Dean Simon isn't lasting long here. He makes his way into the ring and immediately lays into a floored Mysterio as Triple H looks on and the crowd let out some loud boos. He tosses Mysterio over the top rope and turns to Triple H enthustiastically looking for a high five for his efforts. But Rey has held on to the ropes and Trips responds with a punch to the mooey for his efforts instead and the Deano turns to be met with a springboard dick to the face from Mysterio. Triple H and Rey then proceed to dump the fitness guru over the ropes together and out of the match before the next countdown has eve begun. I was right! Are Triple H and Rey going to dominate this badboy? Are we going to see HBK and Bulldog from '95 all over again here? Stay tuned to find out!

 

Triple H and Mysterio immediately start tussling again and Rey gets the upper hand and hits a broncho buster and then climbs the turnbuckle to chat to Eddie in the heavens as countdown hits zero for #4 and ... he's Super, he's Crazy, no wait he's Psicosis. I got ahead of myself there as the camera switched the entrance and Super Crazys name was on the screen. It's Mysterios old WCW foe Psicosis sans mask and looking mexicooool. Yeah, he's not lasting long either. But his interaction with Mysterio might be fun while he's here. To my surprise they very breifly team up and hit a double team move on Trips. But then they start mixing it up and Rey counters a move to eliminate his lucha mate and send Psicosis packing. At this point my machine decided to crash and i lose the last 4 or 5 paragraphs i've written and consider going and joining Eddie. Instead i make the wise move to switch to typing in wordpard a rather then the actual thread and try to remember what i've just typed and find where the hell i was in this Rumble.

 

Psicosis has just been eliminated and Triple H and Mysterio are well on their way to doing a HBK-Bulldog, that's where. Triple H hits a sweet double A style spinebuster on Rey as #5 arrives. Wooo! It's his old mate Ric Flair, but they're not mates anymore. In fact i'm sure they've fairly recently just feuded. Ric derobes and runs to the ring and they get straight at it and Ric gains the advantage and its chop city. Ric hits a load of his signature stuff, including grabbing Triple Hs junk. He's been all offence and then charges at Triple H but it's a mistake as he gets backdropped out and over the top rope just as the next countdown begins. Flairs gone too, can anyone survive longer than 90 seconds with Rey and Trips? Stay tuned to find out!

 

 

It's the BIG SHOW! Surely this man can. He's currently face at this point in his career just so you know. He's also just been feuding with Triple H in an entertaining feud, having just had a match at NYR, which stemmed from a memorable segment where Show took issue with Triple Hs treatment of the man just eliminated, Flair, and smacked the mic out of his hand in convincingly pissed off fashion. So they've got recent history. Some stories are starting to come together with the order of entrants, which is something i love about the Rumble. Show looks like jolly Show on his way to the ring knowing he's gonna get his massive mits on the Game. The Game, has just shit his trunks. Triple Hs facials are brilliant, a real under-rated part of his game. His facial selling is top. Show looks massive here, he's much trimmer today. He's also got a cast on his hand from a sledgehammer attack from the cerebrial assassin. Show gets straight to work on Triple H with a headbutt and some BIG chops. Big Show dominate his 90 seconds and successfully becomes he first person to last it. It's nice when there's some big names early in the Rumble rather than the old throw em all in at the end for the finish deal. Hopefully here comes another as the clock counts down. No. it's the Coach. Who apparently just qualified on Raw in some sort of eliminaion match, eliminating Jerry Lawler with help from my boys The Spirit Squad. Coach foolishly goes straight to work on Big Show, pissing him off and getting swiftly piefaced out. Ta ta for now.

 

Big Show is dominating. He chokeslams Triple H as we hit zero and here comes entrant #8 Bobby Lashley. Trips and Rey are down, setting up a face-off for the Big Show and the currently undefeated Lashley who Cole reckons is a dark-horse. And this actually provides a pre-cursor for stuff to come later in the year.

 

 

 

Lashley shoves Show, Show responds with the future WMD flooring Bobby. Lashley then manages to tackle/throw Show and push him out the ring under the bottom rope, whips Rey ferociously into the turnbuckle and floors Triple H with a shoulder tackle and he's looking good. 3...2...1...

 

 

 

WEHEY! It's Kane. Business is picking up. Lashley stops and looks a little concerned as Kane is walking to the ring with some purpose and is looking awesome. He's currently a face at this point too and is currenty mates with his also forever turning and current tag team championship partner Big Show. Kanes got his cool 'Slow Chemical' music here and he gets in to the ring while Cole reminds us he's got the record for most eliminations in a Rumble. Lashley now looks as though he's bricking it. They go at it and Kanes wearing those boots that annoyingly would always come loose. After a bit of a stalemate he floors the big black bastard with a big black boot. But then Lashley retaliates with a belly to belly, a gorilla press slam for Triple H and then an impressive Dominator on Kane. he's having a good showing and is standing tall. You get the impression their might be big plans in mind for this lad. Wonder how well that will turn out. He's the only man standing as #10 is about to arrive. It's always someone significant when there's one man left standing, who's it going to be? It's,...it's...

 

 

IT'S SYLVAN! Marvellous. Remember him? No, me neither. he's going right out curtesy of Lashley i reckon. Or maybe he won't, wasn't he taking care of Pat Patterson at this point in time. And this is Pats baby, maybe he could go on to win it. Nope, i was right initially, there he goes thanks to Lashley. But right after he does he's met by a monstrous double chokeslam from Kane and Show seeking revenge and then thrown out. Lashleys gone, but that was a hell of a dominant showing and there's no shame in getting eliminated by Kane and Big Show together. The Rumble can be an absolutely tremendous tool to put over and make certain talent and WWE have made a hell of an attempt in looking to do that with Lashley here. What a waste. We're left with some star aura as Triple H, Rey, Show and Kane are the only lads in the ring, with Kane and Show the only ones standing. They have a friendly chuckle and then start lamping chunks out of each other and Cole compares it to King Kong vs Godzilla. They're attempting to choke each other out of the ring when Triple H reemerges and dumps them both over to a big reaction. We're back down to the first two entrants and the ten count starts...

 

 

 

 

Nice pop for Carlito. I feel like i miss this fella for some reason, despite never enjoying him for much beyond his early work anyway. He goes straight to work on Mysterio and they have a neat little exchange, they always had good chemistry together i seem to remember actually. In searching for a Carlito pic i found he had an awesome looking figure.

 

10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2,1...

 

 

It's him. The other guys who's done the Rumble stretch winning from entering at #1. The crowd are pleased to see him. It's only a short while removed from Eddies passing and it's only the next year he goes on to have that mental, terrifying weekend. I forget they wern't that far removed from each other. You just can't watch this guy without thinking about those events, can you? Anyway i'll try not to as this Rumble is a lot better than i remember it being, i have to say. Great stuff so far and looks like it's only just getting started. Benoit stiffly chops the shit out of everyone and Carlito gets caught in a crossface that gets broken up by Triple H. Cole informs us Benoit has hit some impressive times in Rumbles, particularly in the last two Rumbles. Triple H suplexes Benoit over the top rope but Benoit lands on his feet on the apron and they're still locked up. He tries to pull Trips out as Cole makes a great call reminding us that's how he eliminated Big Show to win in 2004. They both struggle before Triple H gets Benoit on the top turnbuckle, Benoit gets the best of H though and knocks him to the floor and then rises to his feet and flies off the top turnbuckle hitting his signature flying headbutt. An entertaining exchange. Countdown time.

 

#13 brings Booker T. YOUGOTTALOVEIT. He's the current Us champ and he's donning some long white tights and white boots and looks a little odd for it as i've come so accustomed to him in trunks. The rings starting to fill up for the first time in the match and there's some good names in there. Book goes straight for Benoit and soon regrets as Benoit makes quick work of him and throws him out.

 

 

Didn't expect that, maybe it's not filling up after all. Unlucky number 13 for Book i guess. Triple H and Rey are starting to look tired as Carlito and Benoit work over them. Cole breaks the news that they've been in there 23 minutes. Time for another entrant.

 

 

That's MNMs Joey Mercury just in case you can't tell. Jerry Lawler tells us apparently Mercury plans to eliminate Michaels in this Rumble, i didn't realise he was in it. The halfway mark brings what i believe is our first surprirse entrant...

 

 

FUCKING TATANKA! He gets right stuck in and looks pretty good, like he could fit right in if he was brought back permanently. There's a thought. The crowd are loving it too as they break out into some werid 'ole, ole, ole' style chant for him. Good crowd tonight.

 

 

6 men in the ring, all going at it, Benoit's really going after Triple H here and he's almost got him out as here's #16.

 

 

Nitro doesn't do anything before the next entrant besides get slapped about by Tatanka, but there is a couple of close calls for HBK and Bulldog, who are still hanging in there. #17 bring one half of the Redneck whirvey dervish Trevor Murcdoch and now the ring is actually filling up. We've got 8 guys in there now, the most yet but it almost becomes 7 as Triple H throws Rey over but he holds on again and as he clings on to the bottom rope once he's in and Triple H frustratingly boots at him, Cole plays the Eddie card again and ponders if someone else is looking out for him tonight. Eurgh, i'd forgotten about this aspect for a bit there with some good action and reminded of what's to come. Truly, this Rumble is tainted with that horrible angle.

 

 

#18 brings this man and he's back apparently! Not sure where he's been but here he is. He walks right into some Murdoch fists and then hulks up and returns with some fists of his own, followed by an airplane spin, leaving them both dazed which brings in Rey to hit a nifty double bulldog on the two after climbing up Eugene. Lots of bodies about now, there must be a big name on the way set to clear house, i can't think who it might be though, which makes for an enjoyable aspect watching this back. Not yet though, next in...

 

 

WHAT A RUSH! I thought this was another surprise return initially but Cole soon makes me realise it's not, talking about him featuring on the previous Smackdown, he must have been teaming with Heidenrich at this point in time as MNM go right for him and i think they're may have been a 6 person tag recently before this with Melina and Christy Hemme which involved Hemme hitting a tremendous Doomsday Device. I love me some Christy Hemme, what a lass.

 

Next entrant brings another returner. Apparently he's been out for a while with a knee injury and is making his return here, it's RVD. And it seems this is why the ring has filled up, for Van Dam to turn up and hitting everyone with his shitty offence. Which is a shame, i was expecting something decent coming i'd forgotten. He does just that and the crowd are loving it. I'm not. Van Dam is shit. This is the year he finally breaks his imaginery glass cieling and undeservedly bags the WWE title becoming the worst WWE champion in history before having to drop it because he's a fucking idiot. After years of blaming everyone else for why he's not reached the top he's given an opportunity that wasn't deserved through any merit of his own, simply because he was the best ECW guy available to use to cash in on the reignited ECW popularity and he screws it all up in spectacuar fashion. Fuck off Van Dam. Van Dam marks us being two thirds of the way through the entrants, after flooring most people with his crap moves he has a brief stare off with Benoit, then takes him down, then MNM, botches a kip-up, does the thumbs and Animal charges him and he ducks sending the oad Warrior out. First elimination in a while that. Saved for Van Dam and Animal. Heh.

 

The next countdown brings music i don't recognise, but it sounds like it should be someone black. And it is! It's Orlando Jordan. OJ, as is standard, brings nothing to the table. We're reminded that #1 and #2 are still hanging in there as RVD almost eliminates Carlito but Carlito holds on.

 

#22 brings us...

 

 

 

Kerwin White. Well, actually he's Chavo again and unsurprisingly he gets a reasonable reaction before 'EDDIE!' chants break out again. I'm waiting for something to happen now, it feels like something big is on the way, there's fucking loads of them in there now and eliminations are few and far between. Chavo gets all his shit in, including the 3 amigos suplexes in homage to Eddie and then goes to top that off by going to the top for a frog splash but before he can the dastardly Triple H shoves him off and eliminates him. #23 brings Matt Hardy, who gets a reasonable pop. This is 'Will Not Die' Matt, which i think is version 5 or something. Matt knocks out some side effects and twist of fates. RVD and Rey keep trying to eliminate Triple H and almost do a couple of times while on the other side of the ring MNM have just teamed up to dump the returning Native American out. #24 and this time he is Super, he is Crazy, he's Supercrazy! He enters the ring in style, climbing the top turnbuckle and hitting a massive cross-body to MNM. There's still ths underlying feeling of waiting for something significant to occur, a big moment is due for sure. Absolutely loads of bodies in there now. Carlito and Triple H narrowly avoid elimination before the next countdown arrives, is this what i've been waiting for? It might just be, it's Mr. Royal Rumble...

 

 

 

 

HBK Shawn Michaels. I'd initially forgotten he was in this Rumble, which maybe isn't promising. He seems to be one of the few people with a story going in though, he's embroiled in a feud with Big Vince Mac and Vinnyboy doesn't want him winning this thing, a few lads have expressed desire in pleasing Vince by making it their quest to eliminate the boytoy, namely MNM and Shelton Benjamin. 'Enough of that, what trousers is he wearing?' I hear you cry. Tonight Shawn is donning his baggy leathers in red and black that make it look like he's wearing assless red chaps. He gets stuck right in and hits just about everybody with a right hand each and there is about 70 guys in there now, so that's not bad going. Trevor Murdoch of all people is the man to halt his offence, if that was the big thing i ws waiting for it was a bit of disappointment, i was expecting some superkicks and eliminations there with so many people about. Cole reminds us that HBK has won the Rumble twice and was one of those to win it from entering at #1 in '95 and says he's in with a great shot here being fresh entering so late in the game. Cole is on good form tonight actually. Michaels has just countered Murdochs offence by pulling down the top rope and out he goes. Shawns 90 seconds surprisingly weren't up to much but don't fret, because here comes...

 

 

Oh, he doesn't get up to much either. But while he's there Triple H tosses Matt Hardy over, who holds on, skins the cat back in and returns the favour and backdrops Trips out who manages to hold on too in a nice little exchange. After Matt attempts to eliminate him again and he holds on Triple H decides to stay safe and tie himself round the bottom rope. Magic number 27 brings us the 'Worlds Largest Love Machine' rocking some particularly fetching sexy silk purple + gold pyjamas, which maybe he wore to bed as part of MOM. Mabel samoan drops Matt Hardy and then arserapes him, powerful manuerver. Matt didn't seem to enjoy a powerful love machine arse buggery and responds with an attempted twist of fate but, Big Vis counters by simply picking him up and dumping him over the top rope and sending him on the dusty trail.

 

 

'AIN'T NO STOPPING ME, NAAAAAWWW' #28 brings us Shelton Benjamin with Martin Lawerence in a fat suit in tow. Big Mamma says 'go get 'em champ' and leaves Shelts to make his way into the match. Benoit lobs his window licking mate Eugene out. All these eliminations are a bit nothingy, i have to say. Two more guys to go and there's 658 guys in the ring now, we must be leading to a big finish, who's next?

 

 

'WHAAT!?!' Cry King and Cole. It's Goldust, who gets a mild pop. He seems to be a returning surprise entrant apparently. MNM feel the wrath of the bizarre one but not for long and swiftly turn it around. Benjamin is almost eliminated and Cole mentions he might not get to eliminate HBK, i don't think he's actually gone for him yet. That's probably a smooth move to be fair, that doesn't usually end well for him.

 

 

We've got one more left to go and in case you were wondering, Triple H and Rey Mysterio are still in there along with now 2810 others and if you were paying attention to the comments by the wrestlers when drawing their numbers and King and Coles comments when Triple H and Mysterio entered at 1 and 2, you'd have sussed out by now who the last man is. And here he comes, it's Randy Orton. Back when he had shit music, only shit tatoos, a big fat jaw shit face sans beard and wasn't hammering the sunbeds nearly as hard. Wasn't a great fan of Randy by this point and he's just coming off his rubbish feud with Undertaker too i believe. This is back when #30 never won the Rumble, so Randys not taking this surely, that leaves 3 possible realistic winners left in there, HBK, Triple H and Mysterio, but Shawns blatantly facing Vince at 'Mania, so that rules him out. Maybe Benoit, Edge and Kurt are champions currently. Yeah, maybe Benoit. Orton eliminates Benoit. Perhaps not. Realisitc elimination though. RKO for Big Sexy Vis. Following that Masters and Carlito double up to elimate Vis. These guys are on/off tag partners at present, i think their relationship is a little testy, they've both just come off surprisingly being in the last 3 and having good showings in the Elimination Chamber at NYR with Cena. Masters boats to the crowd about eliminating Mabel and Carltio decides to shove him out and then simply shrugs it off, the swine! Carlito then receives some shattered dreams for daring to double cross the masterpiece, which is then swiftly followed by the most hilarious elimination in the history of the Royal Rumble. RVD runs in and hits Goldy with one of his rubbish looking spin kicks which is supposed to eliminate him. It's so piss-weak though that Dust decides to just throw himself out instead, and unconvincingly jumps and scrambles over the top rope and out.

 

Orton eliminates Orlando Jordan, who did precisely nothing of note in this match, muchlike his career. That quick succession of eliminations has thinned things out a bit, we've got Orton, RVD, MNM, Shelton, Carlito, HBK, Mysterio and Triple H left as it feels like we're about to hit the home straight. Carltio and Shelton are struggling with eachother on the apron trying to eliminate each other. Shawn starts dishing out his signature shit on Triple H but gets stopped by MNM, who have vowed to eliminate him. They double team him and attempt a snapshot but Michaels wriggles free, Mercury charges him and gets backdropped over on to the apron. Nitro charges and HBK side steps and sends him flying into Mercury, eliminating his own partner and sending Mercury into an elaborate front somersault off the apron. Michaels immediately clotheslines Nitro over taking himself with him, Nitros feet hit the floor but HBK holds on and as is customary, skins the cat. He's still in. As soon as he's back in Benjamin targets him and takes him down with a kick to the back of the head. Shelton goes to throw him over but HBK turns it around and throws Benjamin onto the apron. He holds on. BOOM! Sweet Chin Music. Sheltons out, eliminated by HBK, as per tradition. Cole cries 'that HBK has stuck it to Vince McMahon!' We've got 6 left, it's HBK, RVD, Orton, Carlito, Triple H and Mysterio.

 

HOLD THE PHONE!

 

 

'NO CHANCE...'

 

Here comes Vince McMahon and he doesn't look happy. He's learnt his lesson from last year though and he's not running anywhere. He looks fucking massive here. He's not happy with Michaels, he's chatting some shit to him. Shawns suitably distracted and asks why he's doing this, when in slips Shane McMahon from behind. Shawn gets too close to the ropes for a moment and Shane charges him and chucks him out and then dances about all over the place in celebration. Joy comes over Vinces face as Michaels gets up and Vince tells him to look behind him. Shawn turns to see Shane and realises what's happened. He eyeballs Shane and Shane stops dancing. Shawn runs in after Shane but gets cut off by Triple H who sets him up for a pedigree. But HBK backdrops out of it and plants Trips with a superkick. He's pissed. Hes goes after Vince and Shane, Shane runs, Vince, still remembering those quads from last year doesn't run anywhere and simply points in the direction Shane ran in saying 'I didn't do it!'

 

 

 

 

RVD and Carlito are the only two standing and mixing it up, RVD hits another of his shitty looking kicks and much like Goldust earlier, Carltio has to try and savour it and jumps halfway across the ring, bounces on the ropes and falls out. That looked terrible. Someone please eliminate RVD. Final four time. Orton, Triple H, Rey Mysterio, RVFuckingD. Two Raw guys, two Smackdown guys apparently. Trips and Rey have been in there 56 minutes, approaching record time. Mysterio and Van Dam begin working together with lots of swanky double team offence. Van Dam goes to the top looking for a frog splash for Orton, because he's an idiot and didn't learn from Chavos mistakes. Triple H however, is supersmart and cerebrial and zones in whenever he sees someone doing this, he charges RVD who gets crotched on the top turnbuckle. Mysterio sprints to attack Triple H but Trips manuervers and launches Rey over his head crashing into RVD knocking Van Dam off and out the match. Rejoice!

 

We're down to 3 - #1, #2 and #30 no less. Interesting dynamic. Triple H and Orton show slight hesitance but start teaming up on little Rey. Rey counters a double team attempt with a big double DDT. He somehow manages to get them both in position for a 619 and hits a double 619 (a 1238?). Triple H ducks a springboard dick to the face and Orton ends up with a face full of Lucha penis. Clothesline and Triple H ends Mysterios little flurry. Orton and Triple H switch their focis to each other. Powerslam for Trips. Spinebuster for Randy. Rey runs at Triple H ans gets caught and looks like Triple H is looking for another spinebuster, but Mysterio manages to shift their weight over to the ropes and Rey drops over the ropes and flips Triple H out with his legs while holding on to the ropes. Triple H is out. It wasn't Bulldog-HBK version 2 after all. We're down to Mysterio and Orton, #2 and #30. Triple H is showing a mixture of shock, fury, disbelief and gutment as the officials make him leave the ringside area. As they should, we don't want a Hogan-Sid incident here. But wait, Triple H comes back, pulls Mysterio out under the bottom rope and slings him into the steel steps. And then lobs him back in leaving easy pickings for Randy. Orton takes his time and realised Rey is just dead weight now. He hoists him up on to his shoulder and heads towards the ropes, but Rey stops him by grabbing hold of the top rope, they struggle and Rey manuervers himself the other way around, wraps his legs round Randys head and hurricanranas him Orton over the ropes. REY WINS, REY WINS, REY WINS! Randy makes this face

 

 

Or something similar at least, that's the closest i could find.

 

 

And we're reminded that Rey dedicates this victory to Eddie Guerrero, because we may have forgotten. Doesn't matter anyway though, because Rey goes on to lose his spot to Orton at No Way Out, which matters even less because Teddy Long, being the fine rule abiding, enforcing GM he is says 'Don't worry playa, you can have a title shot too anyway' Yeah, why not.

 

So there you have it. Rey Mysterio wins the 2006 Royal Rumble, entering at #2 becoming only the second person to ever do so and setting a record time in the Rumble in the process of 62 minutes. It was all for Eddie though, which will eventually end up causing him a bit of a backlash. Which is a big shame really, because i always felt Rey would be a great, great candidate to be a surprise Royal Rumble winner one day and go on to win the title at WrestleMania and make a great story in the process. This was before this Rumble. I didn't mind Rey winning it all but it was tainted by the silly Eddie stuff, which also made it obvious he could win it, particularly with few other likely candidates about. That was made slightly more obvious when the only real two potential winners Rey and Triple H were the first two in. Maybe that's me being cynical in hindsight though, but i do remember feeling that way watching this at the time and when the whole show ended, feeling really deflated, having been enjoying the early 2006 stuff and being excited about the year ahead. I still enjoyed it though and watching it back it occurred to me i had absolutely no recollection of the match besides the start or the finish. It wasn't a great Rumble or a particularly bad one. Definitely somewhere right in the middle. Which ended a run of some pretty hot Rumbles since 2001. Dragged a bit in the middle, and watching it back today i've perhaps been conditioned to expect something big when the ring fills up for ages, but most of the eliminations following that period had little impact or significance in the grand scheme of things. Lashley was made to look great though. It was good to watch it back though, i haven't seen it since watching it live.

 

 

[IANdrewDiceClay]

ROYAL RUMBLE 2004

There was some big angles in this battle royal. More so than any before or since. Looking at it now, its hard to think of any Royal Rumble in history that advanced so many feuds as this one. You could pretty much see the direction of all the big matches for WrestleMania by looking at the angles in this Rumble. The WWE was a pretty well oiled promotion around this period. They had a direction they were going with and everything was done in fine detail. Jim Ross is emphasising the significance of the Raw and Smackdown divide from the off. Number one is Smackdowns Chris Benoit and number two was the WWE Intercontinental Champion Randy Orton. At the time these were two good bets if you were to believe they were going for someone new in the main event. Foley and Orton were always going to wrestle, but plans do change and Orton was touted as the next big thing at the time. Benoit was on fire at the point and everyone knew he was probably the favourite to win it. Especially after tapping Brock out at the Survivor Series. As was the case with a character like Benoit, he needed a strong run in because he didn

[BottomlessJack2]

Some fun reading here guys... lol... enjoyed it!!!

[Fatty Facesitter]

Royal Rumble 2002

 

 

Buildup/Undercard

 

Triple H returned to the WWF after several months out with a torn quad. Prior to that injury, he'd forged an alliance with a newly heeled up Stone Cold Steve Austin, and the two of them were totally cleaning up when it came to WWF gold.

 

 

Then, across a fateful two days, HHH lost both the IC title (to Kane at Judgement Day) and also lost the tag team titles to Chris Benoit and Chris Jericho in the match where his quad imploded. The Two Man Power Trip was over, not long after it'd had actually begun.

 

HHH made his big comeback on the January 7th episode of Raw, in front of an MSG crowd that just goes absolutely fucking barmy for him when he comes out. It's still one of the loudest reactions I can ever recall hearing, and you could see how much it meant to him after all the hard work it took to get to this point.

 

 

HHH's MSG return-

 

He was a heel upon going on hiatus, but after the anticipation built and we got those class video packages of him working out with U2's Beautiful Day in the blaring in the background, you couldn't wait for it.

 

 

 

[air_raid]

I'm sure I'll be back to provide actual comments on the last three reviews but for now....

 

Oh, and because she was managing the tag champs, this lass got to stick around too!

 

**NOT SAFE FOR WORK**

 

... I'd just like to thank Nicko for his work towards tonight's wank.

[ShortOrderCook]

Index now up on page 1 kids.

 

Just gone through Ians tremendous 2004 review. Quite possibly my favourite Rumble of all. Most rate 1992 as the best but, i certainly rate this higher. LOADS of names in there and that's even without Triple H, HBK and Undertaker in there. Or Eddie, Brock, Mysterio or Edge for that matter. Not to mention Hardcore Holly! Brilliantly booked and just so much happened. As much mentioned in other reviews, i'm all about stories coming together and being told in the Rumble, seeds being planted. That a million times over just a load of bodies in a Rumble if they're names or not. And as Ian mentioned this had so many. I'd forgotten all about the Jericho-Christian bit getting rolling here altogether, just so much going on and they had a stacked roster at this point in time. I shared the same feeling regarding Goldberg and Angle and really, it's a great shame Bill left shortly after, because this was probably WWEs finest booking of him. Everyone looks to the Summerslam '03 Chamber match for that but, i adored his use here. I wasn't sure when he was made #30, thinking if Goldberg of all people and how he should be presented doesn't win entering last then he would look total shit, so i thought he might actually win, yet didn't want him to. Little did i know what was coming. He was used fantastically here.

 

So many great moments with The Undertaker tease, Foley surprise entrant, Foley-Orton, Goldbergs Spear on Nunzio, Goldberg-Lesnar and the fantastic closing moments with Big Shows elimination. Loved it. Great time to be a fan. A top 3 Rumble for certain.

[PunkStep]

He's dead right about the Undertaker return being huge, it was a fucking massive deal. Everyone knew he was coming back as the deadman and had craved it for years. I remember being disappointed at Mania, shouting at the telly "It's just the biker taker in a hat with a few druids!".

[Up Chuck]

He's still green as Norwich City's shorts here though, and 'Taker gets back in and starts a huge fuck-off beatdown, including one of the sickest chair shots t' skull that you'll ever see. It's B-r-Utal.

 

.

 

That video actually has the whole sequence from Maven's entrance, as well as the callback to it from the next year. That was great.

[Leary of Doom]

Been absolutely loving this thread in the last few days, and been watching some of the quality rumbles again! One of the reviews here nearly made me put on the 95 one again, but then I thought better of it and watched Austin screw my hero over in 97 instead!

 

Off to start a picture of The Hart Foundation beating The Bolsheviks in under half a minute in case there's a Mania one. Either that or Mickie grabbing Trish's cunt!

[Nexus]

I