Royal Rumble Reviews

[Jaffa]

The crowd become unglued and in a cracking precursor to what's to come at WrestleMania X7, Austin and Rock go at it for the first time in a long time.

 

You're still pissed from last night. They tore lumps out of each other in the six-way Cell match at Armageddon the month before.

They also faced off in the forgotten but brilliant Fatal Four Way main event of Rebellion 2000 the month before Armageddon.

[Daaaaaad!]

Well I've been given two as so many others have, so I think it only makes sense to start with WWF Royal Rumble 2000, live from Madison Square Garden and the first PPV I ever watched on Channel 4.

The crowd is perhaps suffering somewhat from having just watched Triple H and Cactus Jack tear it up, but can you think of anyone better to get them back into it than the Real Deal Now?



I think you better recognise. He starts off at #1, and number two gets some attention from Jerry 'The King' Lawler at ringside:



Sadly, these two come out to the second best variations of their themes, with neither "You're lookin' at the real deal now!" or "Turn it up!" hitting. Crossdresser Mosh shows up to no pop and is attacked by Kaientai, setting up an entertaining moment for later on in the night. Speaking of which, after Christian pops up, the next entrant is Rikishi who, after confronting Grand Master, is calmed by the entry of Scotty 2 Hotty at #6 and coerced into doing the Too Cool dance, before lobbing his mates out along with anyone else who dared get in his way.



It's also worth remembering that this is back when commentary called him RAKishi all the time, which is somewhat offputting. Big Vis is in at #8 after seeing Quiche lob Steve Blackman out, leading to the Big Fat Stand-off before the future Big Daddy V is eventually tossed.



In at #9 is the favourite...



...but he refuses to enter the ring until #10, Test (who gets a HUGE pop) lobs him in and joins in on a good ol' fashioned beatdown. Bulldog's in next with his crap dog music and his jeans on, but at least it warrants a Channel 4 mention. Gangrel shows up and spits some blood but is hardly in the ring before Kaientai make their second appearance of the match. Boss Man and Gangrel decide they won't stand for this shit no more and get rid of Funaki quickly before HURLING Taka Michinoku to the floor, a moment that Lawler requests to be repeated over and over all night. Edge shows up to a nice pop but it's Bob Backlund at #14 that gets the major reaction, as he joins in with the rest of the group in the ring to finally eliminate Rikishi. The midway entrant "Y2J" Chris Jericho is popular with the crowd, perhaps due to his Dad's MSG connections through hockey as JR postulates, and he brings Bob Backlund's WrestleMania dream to an end, causing him to leave through the crowd.



The match is over halfway through now and, with it being the Attitude era, this means the obligatory appearance by Chyna, who eliminates Jericho. Thankfully, Boss Man won't stand for any of this shit and knocks her off the apron. Our second invading faction shows up as Faarooq enters, beating him down and gifting his elimination to Boss Man. A dog-fight ensues, as Road Dogg appears to eliminate British Bulldog, taking us into the 20s. From here, the match is getting a little more muddy and even the commentators are blatantly waiting for The Rock to appear. Funaki shows up to create a little commotion, which does nothing except to cause Lawler to ask for another replay of Taka's exit bump.



I think Edge goes out too and Albert definitely showed up. Road Dogg, for his part, has now taken up the most sensible position, clinging on to the bottom rope.



We're up to #24 now, so naturally IF YOU SMELL hits and the Garden goes wild. Rocky declares his intentions by eliminating the favourite immediately, sending him back to Cobb County. The one and only ASS MAN hits the ring shortly after, whilst in the ring Rock is making short work of his pick Crash Holly. Well, it's the Big Show at #26, and he's pissed, booting out both Test and Gangrel within seconds of entry. Bradshaw enters next which draws the Mean Street Posse out again, but even though he successfully fights them off, his interaction with the Posse causes the Soon-to-be Tag team Champions of the Woooooooorld to eliminate him. Kane's at #28 and lobs out both Val Venis and Albert in quick succession, as Godfather enters next with his hos. The last entrant left is X-Pac, but before he hits the ring, Funaki is tossed out again and as per usual, Taka's elimination is replayed again.



Eliminations are coming thick and fast now and as Show gets rid of Godfather, Rock throws out Al Snow. Mr. Ass betrays Road Dogg, but Billy's joy is short-lived as Kane eliminates him almost immediately after. The Outlaws pull Kane through the ropes to beat him down, causing the referees to miss X-Pac's initial elimination by The Rock, and so our FINAL FOUR is Kane, X-Pac, Big Show and The Rock. X-Pac heel kicks Kane out and gives Show the Bronco Buster, but Show says "fuck that" and gorilla presses him out. The Rock, spying this, takes his opportunity and catches Show as he's dumping Pac out for the People's Elbow.



Show avoids elimination and hits Rocky with a one handed Chokeslam. Big Show takes his time in choosing which side to throw Rock out at, but takes too long and Show's momentum sends him over, allowing Rock to grasp the ropes and win!



Of course, we all know that really, Rocky flipped right over the ropes and Big Show won, but that's a story for WrestleMania 2000 to sort out. I think it's fair to say that this show very much benefitted from being at The Garden. The general thought was that 2000 WWF would suffer from not having Stone Cold about and I think the Rumble is the only show where that's the case, bringing together as it does so many different stars, but in reality everyone knew the only winners were ever going to be Rock or Show. Thankfully, the rest of the year had no such problem and that is due almost exclusively to Triple H, whose lack of involvement in the big match here really shows. This started what I've tended to think of as a fairly tame Road to WrestleMania in what otherwise turned out to be an excellent year for WWF, but it's still a good Rumble and worth a watch.

[Nexus]

2000 was brilliant. Some great reviews here guys.

 

ShortOrderCook, did you have one left to give out or did someone get it?

[Shane O' Mac Version 2]

Well, I feel like a bit of a dick. I didn't read the initial thread correctly and reviewed the whole Royal Rumble 1991 PPV instead of just the Rumble match itself. I'll be damned if I've done all that reviewing only to scrap it, so I'll give a succinct version.

 

WWF Royal Rumble 1991

 

 

Background and Undercard

 

When I sat down to watch this PPV, I had completely forgotten that the opening match was Orient Express vs. The Rockers, which was an absolute classic. It carried the clean cut American vs. evil foreigners theme that pervaded the PPV, but the athleticism in this was quite a sight, particularly considering the WWF style in 1991, with guys like Hogan and Warrior leading the charge (more on them later). A fast pace was set and maintained mostly for 20 minutes, with a fair amount of high flying. A couple of things I noted here from HBK which raised a smile were the running high knee which Triple H later took as a signature (I know it originated from Harley Race but I still found the DX connection interesting), and a dive fake which very closely resembled Rey Mysterio's 619. Very nice.

 

Elsewhere on the card, the 2013 Royal Rumble winner, Big Boss Man, had a tidy little match with the Barbarian. Bossman was a bit heavier here than the 1998 version I remember, and he impressed me with a slick enziguri. Not to be outdone, Barbarian used a top rope clothesline long before Kane was dominating Royal Rumbles, and the finish was a cross body roll-through into the 3 count for the Boss Man, which was something you might see from cruiserweights. I really enjoyed this, a lot more than I would have expected going in.

 

The tag match of Dibiase/Virgil vs. Dustin/Dusty really interested me. The seeds were planted in the pre-match interview for the Virgil face turn, and I was also keen to see Dustin Rhodes pre-Goldust. It may just be the gold jumpsuit, but I actually think he looks in better shape modern-day than he did here. As for the actual match, it was good, but of course the real story was the post match. Dibiase rips Virgil yet again, repeatedly commanding him to strap the Million Dollar Belt around his waist. Virgil sells this all brilliantly with his facial expressions, and the crowd are seriously behind him even before the big moment, as they can feel it building. This is really great storytelling that I was seriously invested in, as were the crowd, and the commentators Monsoon and Piper, adding just enough verbiage to accentuate the angle- "Give me a break!" "What, you're going to need [Dibiase's money] for the rest of your life?" When Virgil smashes him with the belt, I cheered along with the crowd and the commentators. "YES! BEAUTIFUL!"

 

 

Now, a slight disclaimer here. I was born in 1990, my fandom of wrestling began in the Attitude Era in 1998. As such, Royal Rumble 1991 was the first Rumble PPV I was actually alive for, so if I don't share the same child-like fondness for certain aspects, or if I mis-interpret certain events, I apologise.

 

Case in point: I've never really seen the appeal of the Ultimate Warrior. The flashy superhero thing wasn't really my cup of tea next to Stone Cold and The Rock, the first match of his I saw was the return match vs. Orlando Jordan, which still remains as one of the worst matches I've ever seen, and The Self Destruction of the Ultimate Warrior DVD didn't seem to contain many outlandish assessments for me. So the WWF title match on this card didn't really appeal to me that much, with Warrior going in as the defending champion, also defending the honour of the good ol' US of A against Iraqi sympathiser, Sgt. Slaughter. This angle helped tug on the heartstrings of an American audience when their military was involved in the Gulf War. Ultimate Warrior had symbolically become the man in the company by beating Hogan at the previous year's Wrestlemania, and had an incredible crowd following and presence from his entrance, music, colourful attire and superhuman physique. He was a perfect foil for Slaughter, who was a wily veteran adept at playing this anti-American character.

 

The match got off to a quick start, with Warrior charging to the ring and immediately attacking. With the American flag on his arse, he commenced knocking Slaughter out of his pointy boots supposedly sent by Saddam Hussein with thunderous clotheslines. It was a great piece of storytelling, and Slaughter makes Warrior look like a million bucks bumping around the place.

 

 

Sensational Sherri does a run-in, baiting Warrior into a sneak attack down the aisle from the "Macho King" Randy Savage. This weakens Warrior, allowing Slaughter to get the advantage back in the ring. I will say Warrior sold fairly well, drawing a lot of sympathy from the crowd as he attempts to make it to his feet. He eventually fights back with (what else?) more clotheslines. Alas, a second lot of Sherri/Savage interference, culminating in a scepter to Warrior's skull, leads to the dastardly Slaughter winning the WWF title. This sets the stage nicely for the Rumble, which is preceded by some quick soundbytes by Tugboat, Demolition, Mr Perfect, and a quick Hogan promo, where the Hulkster stumbles over a line about kicking Saddam's ass or something. Ah well, you can't not love Hogan. I might not like the superhero schtick, but the man is a master.

 

"NOW, IT'S TIME, FOR THE 30 MAN ROYAL RUMBLE MATCH!"

 

In comparison to some modern day Royal Rumbles, the 1991 incarnation doesn't appear to be very star studded, but it's worth remembering that midcarders meant more in that day- a prime example being Mr Perfect as Intercontinental Champion being one of the top guys in the WWF. Nevertheless, the first entrant is one half of the WWF Tag Team Champions at the time, a future WWF Champion and Hall of Famer...

 

Bret "The Hitman" Hart

 

 

He begins with fellow Canadian Dino Bravo. They battle a bit, with Dino's power up against Bret's speed and technical ability. They appear close to even as entry no. 3 is Greg "The Hammer" Valentine. Valentine makes quick work of Bravo, tossing him over the ropes. Entry no. 4 is a tag team specialist, a former member of one of the greatest stables of all time, the Four Horsemen. The one and only... Paul Roma!!!. They beat down Hart a bit, who seems to be in it for the long haul due to his pace. The 5th entrant is the 'real' winner of the Rumble, depending on your philosophical view, either that or Rumble '91 is still going- of course I'm referring to The Texas Tornado, otherwise known as Kerry Von Erich. Tornado quickens the pace a little to get the crowd going, and we now have 4 men in the ring for the first time.

 

Entrant #6 is Rick 'The Model" Martel. I'm not too familiar with Martel for previously outlined reasons, but his ironman effort in his match really made me a fan. He lasted a total of 52:17, keeping fairly active through most of the match, performing some of the more daring near-eliminations in the match and even seeming fresh towards the end. #7 is the greatest thing to happen to ECW since Paul Heyman, Tony Atlas, performing here as Sabu Simba. He's the biggest man to enter the match at this point, but doesn't last long at all, taken out by a Martel reversal in under 3 minutes. "Did someone say 3 minutes?" No, Rosey, they didn't. Sit your fat ass down.

 

#8 is Butch of Bushwhackers fame. Here's another guy (or guys, speaking of the Bushwhackers as a collective) where I just don't see the appeal. Decent tag team, but their mannerisms, like the spacko faces and marching around the ring, are more irritating than endearing to me. Anyway, for reasons inexplicable to me, Butch is over like a stripper in a room full of horny teenagers. But it's time for shit to get real as...

 

#9. Jake "The Snake" Roberts

 

 

Robert's reception makes Butch seem as welcome as a pedophile in a playground, and the pop here is something I can understand. He goes directly for rival Rick Martel and they battle it out for (allegedly) the next 2 minutes. Hercules is the next entrant, and at this point my VHS has gotten a bit shaky, but everyone just appears to be pounding on each other (ooh ah). My antiquated technology rights itself in time for the entrance of Tito Santana. As he enters, Paul Roma is the victim of a low bridge by Roberts and out on his arse. Only the 3rd elimination here, so the ring is staying consistently full, giving the crowd plenty of things to keep their eyes on. #12, without any degree of exaggeration or misdirection, is one of the greatest professional wrestlers in the history of the industry, certainly an icon in the WWF/E, and although early in his career here, is undeniably poised to be a fucking star...

 

The Undertaker

 

 

Shitty hair aside (like I'd ever tell him that), Taker quite obviously has a monster presence, and emphasises this by immediately grabbing future rival Bret Hart by the throat and hurling him to the floor, ending his run at 20 minutes, which is a job well done in longevity, but a duration that would be later dwarfed. Undertaker, being only 2 months into his WWF career, is making himself famous here. Tornado has a stab at stopping this demonic train, but Taker walks through his strikes and chokes the fuck out of him. Badass. Next entrant is Jimmy "Superfly" Snuka. Nice timing in retrospect given the impending Wrestlemania match, but not a great deal happened between the two here to set it up. Taker continues kicking ass in the Rumble, chucking Butch out effortlessly then going back to knocking 50 shades of shit out of Tornado. I apologise if my swearing seems excessive, I'm drawing from the notes I made watching the Rumble, and I got pretty excited. Plus I'm from 'Straya and we don't have vocabularies, mate.

 

Anyway, a double team from Valentine- who carves out his own ironman niche in the match, of all people- and Tornado slows Undertaker for the first time. It doesn't knock him down or anything though, nothing that ridiculous. Entrant #14 is forthcoming, best hold onto your Union Jacks, gentlemen! (or Jack Daniels, whatever you prefer)

 

14. "British Bulldog" Davey Boy Smith

 

 

At this point, Martel and Valentine have been in almost 20 minutes themselves, prompting Piper and Monsoon to put the athleticism of all the Rumble participants over. Bulldog's first two minutes go by without consequence, and we're halfway through with the arrival of Demolition's Smash. Soon after, Martel eliminates Roberts by dragging him over the top rope from the apron. Slick move, and the cars are warming up their engines on the road to Wrestlemania! Hawk enters to a great ovation and begins battering everyone, until the trio of Taker, Hercules and Smash halt him. Now these guys look like wrasslers. Shane Douglas is the next entrant, and before he told the NWA to kiss his ass and became a Target employee, he was a fresh faced kid that looked like quite the clean cut athlete. Tornado (courtesy of Undertaker) and Superfly (courtesy of Hawk) get eliminated to clear the ring a little. To this point, the ring has remained full mostly in comparison to more recent Rumbles with quick fire eliminations and stretches of domination by one wrestler. I found this approach different and refreshing, it made the wrestlers seem tougher. The announcers help by lauding the cardio of the athletes. At this point, we are meant to have #18, but nobody comes out. This was later revealed to be Randy Savage, with the flimsy explanation that Warrior ran him out of the building. Savage could have boosted this Rumble with his athleticism and star power- the crowd had previously been raucous but quietened considerably here.

 

Meanwhile, Taker is looking every bit the future legend here by simply being dominant in exchanges with everyone. #19 brings out Animal, allowing LOD to finally finish Taker's night with a double team elimination. The legendary team could have gone on to dominate, but alas, Hercules blindsides Hawk to break that notion up. Crush of Demolition enters the fray next to join another big tag team together, going straight after Bulldog, who is relatively (and surprisingly) understated in his role in this match. With Martel and Valentine given a chance to shine, Hacksaw Jim Duggan is up next, to which the crowd responds favourably, but their energy overall seems a little bit low as the action has slowed. We need a big star...

 

Earthquake

 

The UKFF's own John Tenta certainly fits the bill, an imposing monster who quickly eliminates Animal to make an immediate impact in the match. The crowd noise is a bit louder at this point in anticipation for the encounters that Earthquake could have in this match, at this point we're in the 20's and some big stars are yet to make an appearance. The nature of this Rumble match means that a record of 12 men in the ring at once is set here, but it was likely beaten at some later point, this being only the 4th annual event. The star power of the Rumble increases a great deal with the entrances of Mr. Perfect and Hulk Hogan. This match has peaked at the right time and this crowd, which were red hot for most of the PPV, have seriously come to life here!

 

Mr Perfect showed great character awareness by slowly sauntering to the ring and once there, sprang to action by eliminating Hacksaw. At this point in the match, the MVP award has to go to Martel, with Valentine a close second. Over 40 minutes of work, with Martel the more physically active it seemed, but damn, well done.

 

Whoops, still got a few midcarders to get rid of. Haku enters (had no idea he was active back then, like I said, not my era!). Out goes Valentine, Santana and Bushwhacker Luke lasts a well-deserved 0:04. I feel a little bad for him lasting such a short while, so he can have a picture here to immortalise him.

 

 

Brian Knobs, Hogan's bestie, jogs in with his chins held high. He takes out Hercules, who actually had a pretty length run considering his size and physique. Speaking of physiques, Warlord couldn't pass a piss test to save his life, so much like Alistair Overeem, he fights for about 2 minutes before getting in a car and hightailing it out of the city. Tugboat is the lucky (or not so lucky) last. He looks like a monster, but dresses like Daffy Duck. Hmm, how terrifying. Just another obstacle for Hogan to conquer. The ring is (still) pretty full, so eliminations have to get underway, with the crowd getting louder after each one. I'm really digging how this Rumble was structured. It seemed to take the live crowd out at times (unless it was just the shitty audio of my tape), but I found it very intriguing to watch.

 

Tugboat has his shining moment with a near elimination of Hogan. He nearly dumps Hogan, but Hulk convinces him to let him stay before doing the dumping himself- like a boss. Bulldog gets a moment himself, getting one of the more visually impressive eliminations by dropkicking Perfect off the top rope to the floor. Anvil, Haku and finally Martel goes courtesy of Bulldog.

 

Davey Boy Smith has about 5 seconds to enjoy being in the final 4 before Earthquake and Knobs knock him over the ropes. This new alliance takes it to the Hulkster, even appearing successful with the Quake Drop, but Hogan won't let a little thing like a 500 pound man pancaking him keep him down! He swiftly disposes of Knobs with a forceful boot, mostly likely for refusing to soap him and Beefcake in the shower or something.

 

 

It's down to Hogan and Earthquake! I was actually into this, despite a nagging smark voice that said, "Of course Hogan overcomes the odds". Hogan just makes you care, I winced at the failed slam and subsequent elbow. I cheered like crazy when he hit the Andre-esque slam. And although I don't much care for superhero antics or American patriotism, I couldn't help but have a big ol' smile on my face at the happy ending. It was perfect. You had to be patient to enjoy this Rumble, it had a methodical pace at times, but the story delivered in spades. I'll take that over a shooting star press any day.

 

[ShortOrderCook]

2000 was brilliant. Some great reviews here guys.

 

ShortOrderCook, did you have one left to give out or did someone get it?

 

Already taken care of, but if someone else can't complete one for whatever reason I'll make you all aware.

[WWFChilli]

It was interesting seeing the 1991 review from the eyes of a someone not a fan of the era. I actually enjoyed that.

[Fatty Facesitter]

Can we get some links for the matches anywhere? Would love to re-watch some of these but apart from the odd highlight reel on YouTube I can't clock much.

[CleetusVanDamme]

Can we get some links for the matches anywhere?

 

Here's a few. Next time you go on youtube looking for longer matches, you should click on the "filters" bit and sort it so you only get resulting videos that last over twenty minutes, that usually filters out all the shit highlight/tribute videos.

 

92

93

94

95

96

98

99

2002

08

[ShortOrderCook]

Right, someone has had to drop out so we need someone else to review.

 

If you want to be that person make your interest known in this thread by posting an MS Paint drawing of your favourite Rumble moment. The best picture wins and i shall be the judge.

 

EDIT - Doesn't matter if you're already reviewing.

[Nexus]

 

TAKA Michinoku nearly dies after being eliminated from the 2000 Rumble

[PunkStep]

SOC if you have another budding reviewer waiting they can take my second (ie the later year) one if you want? Otherwise I'll struggle as my laptop is broke. As a result, I'm watching my Rumble on YouTube AND typing up my review at the same time app-hopping on my missus' Google Nexus. Brownie points for effort I body hope!!

[Jaffa]

 

Pete Gas breaks his face trying to enter the ring, Royal Rumble 2000.

[WWFChilli]

I don't mind taking on PunkStep's homework having a triple threat at this if that's OK and I survive my own Rumble mind

[WWFChilli]

NVM, here is my second entry, the 2010 edition.

 

 

The 2010 edition of the Royal Rumble match has a great deal in reference to my previous review of 2007 ironically. See story arc

[PowerButchi]

 

HBK gets his pubes out after winning the Royal Rumble in 1996.