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Favourite Simpsons Quotes


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Posted
Homer as Burns' Golf caddy...

 

 

Mr Burns: Simpson, pass me the Sand-Wedge

 

Homer: Mmmmm... sandwich

 

Mr Burns: No, the five iron you fool, it's an open faced club.

 

Homer: Mmmmmmm... open-faced club-sandwich.

 

Which in turn has reminded me of...

 

 

Tenille: Tell me, young man, what do you want out of life?

 

Homer: I want peas!

 

Tenille: We all want peace! But it's always just out of reach.

 

Homer:Uh huh?

 

Tenille: So, what's the best way to get peace?

 

Homer: With the knife!

 

Tenille: Exactly! Not with the olive branch, but the bayonet! Ha, ha, Simpson, you're like the son I never had.

 

Homer: And you're like the father I never visit.

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Posted
Homer as Burns' Golf caddy...

 

 

Mr Burns: Simpson, pass me the Sand-Wedge

 

Homer: Mmmmm... sandwich

 

Mr Burns: No, the five iron you fool, it's an open faced club.

 

Homer: Mmmmmmm... open-faced club-sandwich.

 

This thread is full of greatness, but there's so many misquotes it makes me want to say this.

 

And to make sure I'm contributing as well as snarking,

 

"Homer, Homer Simpson, he's the greatest guy in history; From the, town of Springfield, he's about to hit a chestnut tree AAAAAARGH!!" *smash!*

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Posted
This thread is full of greatness, but there's so many misquotes it makes me want to say this.

 

And to make sure I'm contributing as well as snarking,

 

"Homer, Homer Simpson, he's the greatest guy in history; From the, town of Springfield, he's about to hit a chestnut tree AAAAAARGH!!" *smash!*

Haven't you now got that quote wrong?

Posted
This thread is full of greatness, but there's so many misquotes it makes me want to say this.

 

And to make sure I'm contributing as well as snarking,

 

"Homer, Homer Simpson, he's the greatest guy in history; From the, town of Springfield, he's about to hit a chestnut tree AAAAAARGH!!" *smash!*

Haven't you now got that quote wrong?

 

No, you must have me confused with someone else. *checks* son of a...

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Posted

Frank Grimes: God, look at him. He eats like a pig!

Lenny: Meh, pigs tend to chew their food. I'd say he eats more like a duck.

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Posted

Probaby the best episode ever, the one wit hthe Springfield Cat Burglar:-

 

Kent Brockman: Mr. Simpson, what would you say to those who say your vigilante group are actually commiting more crimes than you are preventing?

Homer: Oh Kent, I'd be lying if I said my group didn't commit crimes.

Kent Brockman: ....touche.

 

Homer: I wasn't asleep...I was drunk!

 

Jimbo: You lied to me, man. Now I'm going to medical school to become a doctor!

Homer: NOOOOOOOOOOO!

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Posted
Probaby the best episode ever, the one wit hthe Springfield Cat Burglar:-

I'm not sure about best ever, but it is tremendous.

 

'If you are the police, who will police the police?'

 

'I dunno........coastguard?'

Posted

Groundskeeper Willie: Shary Bobbins and I were engaged to be wed back in the old country. Then she got her eyesight back. Suddenly the ugliest man in Glasgow wasn't good enough for her.

Shary Bobbins: It's good to see you, Willie.

Groundskeeper Willie: [angry] That's not what you said the first time you saw me!

 

and...

 

You have my undivided attention

tumblr_lo4n7cVKG31qdti63o1_500.gif

 

dunno if this was posted too, but...

 

So you like donuts eh? Well have all the donuts in the world...

tumblr_l0km4mARSg1qzic4lo1_500.gif

Posted
Groundskeeper Willie: Shary Bobbins and I were engaged to be wed back in the old country. Then she got her eyesight back. Suddenly the ugliest man in Glasgow wasn't good enough for her.

Shary Bobbins: It's good to see you, Willie.

Groundskeeper Willie: [angry] That's not what you said the first time you saw me!

 

and...

 

You have my undivided attention

tumblr_lo4n7cVKG31qdti63o1_500.gif

 

dunno if this was posted too, but...

 

So you like donuts eh? Well have all the donuts in the world...

tumblr_l0km4mARSg1qzic4lo1_500.gif

 

thats one of my favourite segments on the treehouse of horror episodes, another being the nightmare on elm street parody with willie playing the freddy role

Posted
Probaby the best episode ever, the one wit hthe Springfield Cat Burglar:-

 

Kent Brockman: Mr. Simpson, what would you say to those who say your vigilante group are actually commiting more crimes than you are preventing?

Homer: Oh Kent, I'd be lying if I said my group didn't commit crimes.

Kent Brockman: ....touche.

 

Homer: I wasn't asleep...I was drunk!

 

Jimbo: You lied to me, man. Now I'm going to medical school to become a doctor!

Homer: NOOOOOOOOOOO!

 

"Can you swing a sack of doorknobs?"

 

"Can I!"

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