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Is it acceptable to open a sharing pack of Monster Munch on the train?


Gus Mears
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I've got a two hour journey from London ahead of me. I'm tired and all I have left to eat is a sharing pack of Pickled Onion Monster Munch. The train is quite busy. I need help with this important decision.

Thing is, they fucking hum. I know I would be incredibly annoyed if the person next to me cracked open a pack of these.

Edited by Gus Mears
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Just now, Chest Rockwell said:

I can't imagine why you wouldn't.

They smell atrocious and the train is rammed. Surely train etiquette comes in to it at some point North of cheese and onion flavoured crisps? The Munch is well over that boundary.

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Ah no, it's the fucking noise of them crips, Stavo! The crunching noise would be cruel and horrific for someone - like myself - with misophonia. Especially in a claustrophobic environment.

I once got off a bus - honestly, a fair few stops before I had to - because some swine started eating an Granny Smith beside me. Even if I turned the volume up to THX(tm) levels on my walkman, I could still hear her eating the thing, and I could see her in my peripheral raising the poxy thing to her mouth, so I had to get up and get off the bus. It was a single decker bus, so I had nowhere to go because I was conscious of her doing what she was doing. Awful stuff.

 

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Eating on public transport ain't great at the best of times. Throw in an overcrowded carriage and the pungent aroma that emit from the Munch of Monsters and you've a massive social faux pas on your hands. 

I'll never forget being on a packed bus years ago and some teenage school boy eating bag after bag after bag of some value cheese and onion crisps for the whole duration I was on the bus. They hummed and the dirty fucker even licked his fingers after each mouthful. He also tipped the crumbs at the bottom into his mouth at the end of each bag. The lad must have rattled through at least 6 or 7 packets. It was obscene.

Edited by The Maestro
Meh
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29 minutes ago, Sergio Mendacious said:

Go in the bogs and eat them in shame, like a good Englishman. It's what Churchill would do.

Nah, Churchill would proceed systematically, carriage by carriage, and he would destroy the tables, fill up the toilets, blow down the drinks trolley, cut down the great shady curtains, burn the seats and break the will of the public in punitive devastation. Then he would sit among the rubble and devour his big bag snack.

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2 minutes ago, Accident Prone said:

Nah, Churchill would proceed systematically, carriage by carriage, and he would destroy the tables, fill up the toilets, blow down the drinks trolley, cut down the great shady curtains, burn the seats and break the will of the public in punitive devastation. Then he would sit among the rubble and devour his big bag snack.

I meant the nodding dog, but your point still stands.

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