The Maestro Posted August 15, 2018 Share Posted August 15, 2018 19 minutes ago, Chest Rockwell said: Umm.. At the risk of Steve Justice-ing myself, is this so wrong? What's bad about this? In the privacy of your own home? Go for it. Packed bus in rush hour traffic? Just wrong. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members gmoney Posted August 15, 2018 Paid Members Share Posted August 15, 2018 Monster Munch smell amazing! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rule One Posted August 15, 2018 Share Posted August 15, 2018 Just eat them, they'll be other things going on that are just as 'offensive' in your carriage. Do it Gus. For you, for the board... FOR THE TASTE. Do it, do it, do it!* (*Or don't, your choice. No pressure.) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Gus Mears Posted August 15, 2018 Author Paid Members Share Posted August 15, 2018 Thug life. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators Chest Rockwell Posted August 15, 2018 Moderators Share Posted August 15, 2018 Good man. I can smell some cheese and onion right now on my train. No-one cares. That said if it was scampi and lemon nik naks I think I'd be well within rights to cut a bitch. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Sergio Mendacious Posted August 15, 2018 Paid Members Share Posted August 15, 2018 I think we all know who the true monster is here. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SuperBacon Posted August 15, 2018 Share Posted August 15, 2018 Someone the other day, on a packed train, sat there and ate a Tuna Nicoise salad....TUNA AND EGG in a confined space. I gave the half eyes, then the rolled eyes at the other offended parties, then the exagerated sniffing, then the 'jesus that does stink' exhalations, then I just started saying 'Fucking hell' quite quietly under my breathe, then I plotted for the rest of the journey how I was going to murder him with the tiny throwaway plastic knife that came with it. Unless it is the last train home, and every single fucker has a McDonalds or something, then there are rules for eating on trains. And they all say 'No fish or eggs under any circumstances'. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Maestro Posted August 15, 2018 Share Posted August 15, 2018 21 minutes ago, SuperBacon said: Unless it is the last train home, and every single fucker has a McDonalds or something, then there are rules for eating on trains. And they all say 'No fish or eggs under any circumstances'. I think warm food in general is a no no on public transport. Warm food usually has smells and smells are no good in a confined space. Sweets/confectionery are probably the most acceptable thing to eat as they don't hum. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Carbomb Posted August 15, 2018 Paid Members Share Posted August 15, 2018 People who microwave fish in the office kitchen should be tied to a chair in a small room with no ventilation, while all their colleagues come in and do Butler's Revenges* in rapid succession, and then close the door. *Silent but extremely deadly farts. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members PunkStep Posted August 15, 2018 Paid Members Share Posted August 15, 2018 5 hours ago, Gus Mears said: They smell atrocious and the train is rammed. Don't worry about the smell, half of the city seem content to neck their Katsu chicken curry from Wasabe on the Stansted Express home. I sometimes ate apples on the train home, however over the past year I'm scared to death in case I'm on a carriage full of Branqueys! A Branqfest, if you will. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Devon Malcolm Posted August 15, 2018 Paid Members Share Posted August 15, 2018 It's a hate crime. You're not allowed fags on transport anymore and pungent food should fall under the same banner. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Thunderplex Posted August 15, 2018 Paid Members Share Posted August 15, 2018 Next time stand up, drop your trousers, grab a handful of the monster munch then proceed to rub them on your genitals in an exaggerated manner shouting “HENNYWUNWANNAMONSTERUNCH”. The carriage will clear, and you will be able to eat them guilt free. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Keith Houchen Posted August 16, 2018 Share Posted August 16, 2018 28 minutes ago, Thunderplex said: Next time stand up, drop your trousers, grab a handful of the monster munch then proceed to rub them on your genitals in an exaggerated manner shouting “HENNYWUNWANNAMONSTERUNCH”. The carriage will clear, and you will be able to eat them guilt free. Then shout WELL NO ONE CAN FOOKIN AVE EM NOW. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cobra_gordo Posted August 16, 2018 Share Posted August 16, 2018 Partly inspired by Gus' bravery, and partly because I'm a hungry fat bastard, I ate two scotch eggs on the train home yesterday. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The British Bushwacker Posted August 16, 2018 Share Posted August 16, 2018 We were on a Reading to Truro train last season when a bloke cracked open a tin of mackerel in tomato sauce , i've never seen a carriage empty so quickly Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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