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The Pizza Thread


Undefeated Steak

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Pizza Hut and Dominos. £20 for a mediocre pizza? Fuck that. You can get one for £7 from the local takeaway that shits on anything from Dominos. And it always seems to be people who don't work who order from Pizza Hut.

 

 

That's a very good shout, actually. I went through a stage of buying them after nights out while at uni and the shame of waking up next to a £20 Domino's box was far worse than any battle axe.

 

Without turning into the Daily Express, it tends to be friends of mine who don't work who buy Domino's all of the time too. One of them hasn't worked for a year and texts me once a fortnight to ask "can I borrow £20 until Thursday" and yet had about 10 Domino's boxes littering the house when I went round for a brew last week.

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From what I recall in my inebriated state, it was because I wanted the chicken goujons that came at a reduced price if I bought a pizza. So, like a massive fanny, I would buy an entire pizza just so I could get a combo wedges and goujon box at reduced price. I'd then inevitably wake up with an entire pizza left over.

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The wife really likes Pizza Hut, I can take or leave it but it's not worth what you pay. She also really likes Pizza Express, but same goes for that.

 

Whenever she tries to suggest Pizza Hut, I always manage to talk her round to getting one for the local as that's only down the road as opposed to the 15 minute drive to Pizza Hut inthe other side of town

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Domino's is overpriced out the door. It really is riddiculous. It's always the obvious, boring answer for a pizza takeaway people give too which annoys me further. Smoking some doobs man? Staying in on a Saturday dude? Make it a Domino's yeahhhh!

 

It's crap. Literally every smaller pizzeria in any town stands a very good chance of being better than it. Even the greasy low end crap. It's got more character.

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Get the fuck out of here; I don't want a pizza with character. Domino's is overpriced if you're only buying one pizza but generally fine as long as you use one of their many deals to buy a couple. That does rely on you not being alone though. So go ahead and eat your character filled lonely loser greasy piece of crap from Tops Pizza that I wouldn't even feed my worst enemy's dog.

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The kebab shop pizzas near me are all quite shit anyway.  Just far too much bread with a tiny bit of cheese and maybe three mushrooms if you're lucky.  I'd much prefer to pay a bit more for a Dominos and actually enjoy it.  And yeah, if you're paying anymore than £10 for a Dominos then you're either a) not looking hard enough for vouchers, b) not taking advantage of the carry-out specials, or c) a fat bastard who is ordering far too much.

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I want my pizza kitchen sharing it's space with a taxi dock, in a conrete annex with the to let sign still dangling off a temporary stainless steel sign that has a photograph of a pizza that's not theirs blown up to pixel hell. There was a place across the road from us called 'Pizza Hot 4 U And Kebab'. That was the full name of it. That's a great name for a take out.

 

Domino's vouchers are good, though.

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 I'd much prefer to pay a bit more for a Dominos and actually enjoy it. 

 

 

Novel idea here, you could pay less for a pizza that doesn't taste like reheated arse, maybe from Waitrose or something?  I don't know, I haven't got a Domino's in two years and can't say I miss it at all. They are horribly greasy and last time I had one it gave me food poisoning and I was shitting through a straw for 24 hours. All supermarkets seems to do much superior pizzas for under a tenner now.

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While on the subject of Pizza - pepperoni. When I cook a pizza I normally have to turn the fucker om the vertical to get all that bastard grease off the fucker. It's not even that nice either. But it's also almost like it's the law you have to have it on your pizza. When I ask for a meat feast minus pepperoni they give me right looks.

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I'm a massive convert to non-pepperoni/sliced meat pizzas for that exact reason. I used to think nothing of bashing through a Meat Feast with its rank bacon and meatballs made out of Pedigree Chum, but my colon can't take it no more.

 

Chicken and pesto is my pizza of choice now, bit of spinach too. I eat it while reading the Guardian, listening to Billy Bragg and wearing sandals.

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