The Dart Posted October 13, 2016 Share Posted October 13, 2016 American shitters. Absolute fucking disgrace. I've just got back and can't wait to lay a mighty cable without the imminent risk of dropping my cock in the rosewater or causing Bikini Atoll to blast out of the bowl and soak my arse. Ā There is no need for the water to be so high. I've been on almost nothing but red meat and beer for ten days and there is nothing more depressing than accidentally glancing down and seeing enormous turds rolling around the bowl like excremental Sperm Whales caught in a particularly belligerent riptide. Yeh it's horrible. Any reason for it? Some kind of plumbing or swewage reason for the water being so high? Ā Not as bad as toilets in Holland, where unless you sit right on the front edge of the toilet seat your dump doesn't land in water at all, but on a little ledge, and sits there until you flush. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Tommy! Posted October 13, 2016 Paid Members Share Posted October 13, 2016 Not as bad as toilets in Holland, where unless you sit right on the front edge of the toilet seat your dump doesn't land in water at all, but on a little ledge, and sits there until you flush. I liked that, it was like my turds had been slumming it the the hapenny stalls for years, and now there up there in the royal box. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rey_Piste Posted October 14, 2016 Share Posted October 14, 2016 (edited) Kraut lavvies have the inspection shelf as well. It's a weird germanic thing about checking your chods before flushing them. Edited October 14, 2016 by Rey_Piste Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Sergio Mendacious Posted October 14, 2016 Author Paid Members Share Posted October 14, 2016 Hardly surprising Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
King Coconut Posted October 14, 2016 Share Posted October 14, 2016 For the life of me, I can't imagine what benefit they thought they would get from the pre-flush balcony set-up. Unless you pad the balcony with paper first, you're guaranteed the grandest of skid-marks on the shitter and there's also the not-insignificant matter of the stink. The longer you sit there without flushing, the stronger the unadulterated pong of freshly-shat human shit gets. If you're a fan of inspecting your shit without getting your hands wet though, Germany's the place for you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rey_Piste Posted October 14, 2016 Share Posted October 14, 2016 My diet in Germany consisted of meat and cheese for breakfast. Currywurst and chips for lunch then several beers and a doner. You didn't want to look at what you expelled and as Coconut said it was foul smelling and left significant amount of skidmarks. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Dart Posted October 14, 2016 Share Posted October 14, 2016 (edited) My sister lives in Holland, so I have the benefit of going there quite often, but I am invited to go there a lot more than I actually go, andĀ one of myĀ reasons for not wanting to go as often as I could, is the toilets.Ā I just really hate using them.Ā The idea of spending a week there and only having that option is not fun for me.Ā I think it's as bad as American ones, but in the opposite way. Ā I may have to look into the reasons for both systems.Ā I have actually been wondering about it for a while, and now it's been brought up on here I feel like I really need to know. Edited October 14, 2016 by The Dart Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Tommy! Posted October 14, 2016 Paid Members Share Posted October 14, 2016 Kraut lavvies have the inspection shelf as well. It's a weird germanic thing about checking your chods before flushing them. I'm going to end up with Malbranque as a flat mate by the sounds of it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Scott Malbranque Posted October 14, 2016 Paid Members Share Posted October 14, 2016 You could be sitting there watching telly, Mossy, and next off the door to the living room, or your bedroom - I don't care which - would burst open and I'd be shuffling and penguin walking into the room at a frantic pace with my bags around my ankles, dragging you off the sofa by an earlobe and into the bathroom, demanding that you to look into the Armitage Shank and see the ostentatious peat briquette with nowhere to go but up, looking back at you. Then, and after Iād taken a picture and sent to a few people on messenger, Iād wipe and flush. Itās been known to happen. It wouldnāt be all bad though. Iād make you breakfast, tea and dinner and the like. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rey_Piste Posted October 14, 2016 Share Posted October 14, 2016 It's different when its your bog standard poo. That's just weird inspecting it. If you've dropped one that is sticking out of the water by several inches or is a strange colour due to eating beetroot. Then that's just normal to take a bit of pride in checking out your handiwork. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Sergio Mendacious Posted October 14, 2016 Author Paid Members Share Posted October 14, 2016 We've never gone so far as actual shit pics on here, as far as I'm aware, but I wouldn't be surprised. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
King Coconut Posted October 14, 2016 Share Posted October 14, 2016 You know, it genuinely crossed my mind during my last post. I decided I don't want to be the one. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Scott Malbranque Posted October 14, 2016 Paid Members Share Posted October 14, 2016 Fuck yiz anyway, I'll bite... 3.12PM. Today. NSFW: Ā Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
King Coconut Posted October 14, 2016 Share Posted October 14, 2016 (edited) Should've known Branque would be the one Edited October 14, 2016 by King Coconut Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SuperBacon Posted October 14, 2016 Share Posted October 14, 2016 Nah, not having that. Looks like a tiny toilet Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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