Paid Members Linus Posted October 20, 2014 Paid Members Share Posted October 20, 2014 There's a decent 30-minute show in Smackdown, just as there's a decent hour's show in Raw... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators Chest Rockwell Posted October 20, 2014 Moderators Share Posted October 20, 2014 Linus' reviews almost make me want to watch Smackdown! Keep it up so I don't have to please But... he hates all the stuff with the Divas..? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Statto Posted October 20, 2014 Paid Members Share Posted October 20, 2014 Rollins promising to leave Ambrose a "hot, sweaty, smelly mess" is possibly the most disturbing wrestling threat of all time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Linus Posted October 20, 2014 Paid Members Share Posted October 20, 2014 He also said he was going to rip his face off, which I'm pretty sure is against the regulations of any state commission you could find... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Linus Posted October 27, 2014 Paid Members Share Posted October 27, 2014 Hey, it's that Smackdown Tv show!Ambrose opened the show with some talky talky. Nothing we've not heard before, but he does it well, so that's okay. He called out Rollins, who appeared on the big telly, and said some stuff in his whiny voice. Something about The Shield? I kid, I know who they were. They mean nothing to me, though, so *shrug*. Amrbose ended by threatening to burn Rollins to death.Hmm, it's Los Matadores. I just don't see the fucking point. They're fighting Miz & Mizdow, while Sheamus does commentary. At least it was short. Miz & Mizdow won, when Miz put on the Figure 4 inside the ring, and Mizdow did it, wrong legged, on the outside. Sheamus then went after them a bit, starting to cut a promo on them and then ripping his mic off halfway through. Sheamus looked like a dick in his flat cap & waistcoat. This feud must continue!The Dust Brothers said some "weird" stuff, and Bo Dallas interrupted them. I want to like Dallas. I liked his dad. But he's on prison rations here.Christ, it's the women. AJ beat Alicia with a, yes, schoolboy, after a Bad Match (again, not terrible, not shit). I get that these women have to earn a living, and it's not a bad way to do it, but won't one of them stand up and say, "Why the fuck are we having a feud based around not being friends anymore?"I wish Bray Wyatt would hurry up and get back.Michael Cole sat down for a pre-taped interview with the Big Show, about the HEINOUS CRIME that Rusev perpetrated on Raw. To illustrate how wrestling has changed, Show said that the serviceman that Rusev KILLED is fine. Man, have him hanging on a life support machine or something! Show vowed revenge blah blah blah.Hey, it's the intercontinental title! Dolph Ziggler is Billy Joe Travis without the unpaid child support. Cesaro needs to lose the towel. This was a Good Match, if a bit spotty, but it's Ziggler and that's what he does. A Tiger Bomb did not win the match. I hate that. Ziggler won, and kept the title, with an awkwardly transitioned Zig Zag.Sigh, it's the women again. While some of the contests in the other feud are getting marginally better - and it's Alicia Fox, weirdly, that's improving - these gals are the drizzling shits. Nikki Bella won, as if you care. Oh, you have to, because some of that money you are paying to see the PPV (nb: no-one is paying just to see this PPV) will be wasted on this crap. Nikki's boobs are distracting in a bad way.Six-man tag action next, with the Usos and Mark Henry - congratulations, you just won World's Dullest Trio! - against the Dust Brothers and Bo Dallas. This was Not Good. Usual spotty rubbish with an awful ending as Mark Henry, who in 18 years still hasn't learned a lick to my eyes, sleepwalked through Bo Dallas getting a lucky win. Again. Where is this going???Backstage, Ziggler and Cesaro had words. They're going 2/3 falls on the PPV. They better be short falls, is all I'm saying.It's main event time! Yay! But not a match. Boo! But no Kane on the show so far! Yay! No Cena or Orton, either. Boo!Rollins did a less embarassing version of what Ambrose did on Raw, showing what he's going to do to Ambrose with some stuff bought from B&Q (we've all done it, except when you have that hardcore match on Easter Sunday and the place is shut, for Christ's sake!). He called Ambrose out, but Ambrose did not come out.Then Ambrose attacked him from behind and Rollins bailed, so Ambrose had o make do with killing Noble & Mercury. He did that well. This will end at the PPV!** This may not end at the PPV Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shane O' Mac Version 2 Posted October 27, 2014 Share Posted October 27, 2014 Erm, Linus, do you actually LIKE anyone on the roster? From reading that, it seems like you think everyone is shit bar Wyatt (who is inactive right now) and possibly Ambrose. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Linus Posted October 27, 2014 Paid Members Share Posted October 27, 2014 I like:  Dean Ambrose John Cena Randy Orton Damian Sandow Bray Wyatt Chris Jericho Adam Rose  In theory I like (they're just being booked badly): The Dust Brothers Rusev Sheamus Cesaro Bo Dallas  I will never like: Kane Mark Henry  The rest are awful at the moment but it's a fluid situation! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Arch Stanton Posted October 27, 2014 Paid Members Share Posted October 27, 2014 I will never like: Mark Henry You've blown your ukff comeback right there, buddy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Linus Posted October 27, 2014 Paid Members Share Posted October 27, 2014 I regret nothing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members PunkStep Posted October 27, 2014 Paid Members Share Posted October 27, 2014  I will never like: Mark Henry You've blown your ukff comeback right there, buddy.Aye. Somebody gonna get their wig spilt. Linus, I know you missed a lot, so you're totally forgiven for still thinking Mark Henry is shit. But check out his stuff from 2011. Trust me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DeanoTheGame Posted October 27, 2014 Share Posted October 27, 2014 I feel that we should all get together and compile a 'Best of WWE from the last 10 years' playlist for Linus, so he can watch and form correct opinions. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members PunkStep Posted October 27, 2014 Paid Members Share Posted October 27, 2014 Who did that poem for fleischmark a couple of years ago, when he asked somebody to bring him up to speed as he hadn't watched WWE in a few years? An updated one of those should do the trick. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Linus Posted October 27, 2014 Paid Members Share Posted October 27, 2014 Talking of poems, did anyone ever save those two-line poems about wrestlers we all wrote that time? I can only remember two, both very offensive... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Linus Posted November 3, 2014 Paid Members Share Posted November 3, 2014 Hey, it's that Smackdown show nobody likes!It's Halloween. Except it's not. I'm watching this on November 2nd, and it was taped on October 28th. Go with it, okay?The Divas are having a costume Battle Royal because women, am I right? They're all in slutty Halloween costumes. When are the men doing their slutty Battle Royal? What's that? Oh.Layla is the best in this, as a clown mime. Paige is the worst, burying her colleague. Booooooo! All the women are in it, except Brie Bella - who is weirdly dressed as her husband - because Nikki Bella tells her she can't be. Nikki Bella wins after the most awkward finish since your mom walked into the room when you were fucking Hitler or something. Nikki will fight AJ Lee at some point. Joy.Hey, it's Seth Rollins and Kane! They do the shittiest in-ring shit you will ever see. Seriously, it's awful. No-one cared. Kane calls out Ziggler, because God knows we weren't punished enough on Raw.Dolph Ziggler and Kane have a match. It is as good as you might expect it to be. Kane wins. Kane then tells Ziggler he has another match. This is Not Fair because Ziggler is barely conscious. The match is against Rollins. Rollins ker stomps the prone Ziggler for the win. Best Ziggler match ever.Hey, it's Heath Slater! He is dressed as a scarecrow because it's Halloween. Not a slutty scarecrow, either! By the way, did you see his tweet after Raw? It was funny. Anyway, he's about to say some stuff and Ryback comes out.Ryback is like Goldberg but a bit fatter and wearing RVD's clothes. Slater does some comedy which makes me love him. Ryback joins in, which makes me love him, too. Ryback then KILLS Slater. I did not like that.Remember when Heath Slater and Titus O'Neil were feuding with a bunny? Now Titus is stinking up ny NXT show, and Slater is jobbing for Goldberg. Here's the bunny, though! He, Adam Rose, and the Rosebuds, are trick or treating on dressing room doors. This is a good spot.They run into R-Truth who is dressed as a spookghost. Truth is a bad man who tries to drive a wedge between the bunny and Adam Rose. Rose looks concerned for a microsecond and then PARTIES ON. Yes!Hey, it's MizTV! No, don't switch over!Mark Henry is the guest and he's alright here. The crowd are doing that stupid "What?" thing and if it were me I'd end every line with, "paedophiles say what", the jerks. Henry does not like Mizdow. Minus points.Henry claims that Big Show is a dick, basically. Miz shows footage of Henry smiling when Show tapped out to Rusev, just like the rest of us. Show came out and Henry tried to run. Show caught him but then Henry DESTROYED Show. Good.Oh, it's the Dust Brothers versus Los Matadores. I like Los Matadores. Oh, wait, no I don't. They're shit. It wasn't a bad match, and had some good little spots in it, but it's just boring. The tag scene is so stale. They need a fuck you crew. Not the Fuck You Crew, but a team that just doesn't give a shit and destroys these clowns. The champs lose again, by the way. Belts!Rowan Harper is watching See No Evil in the back. Nice work if you can get it. Kane walks by and plonks himself down on the sofa next to him. Harper tells Kane he's scaring him and Kane says something awful. Why???Remember a few weeks ago when Noble & Mercury were looking for Ambrose and they came across Khali warming up for a match? Turns out it's this match, because he's fighting Rusev.Christ, Khali is bad. Like, worse than Giant Gonzales bad. Thankfully Rusev kills the killer and we can all rest easy. Lana is pure filth once more.Rusev says he's beaten the all-American, the strongest American, and the biggest American, and now he wants their title. He calls out Sheamus, who responds too quickly for my liking, and Rusev powders. Sheamus says he's proud something something.Hey, it's Bray Wyatt! He does quite the promo.Okay, main event time. It's Ambrose versus Cesaro in a Trick Or Street Fight match. Yeah, you heard me.Hey, you know how Cesaro has been buried lately? Turns out it's because he did an interview where he criticised some of the top boys. Oh, you sweet summer child!This is a Good Match, with good use of weapons and stuff. Cesaro does a spot with the pumpkins that made me laugh because it takes him FOREVER to set up and is shit when it happens. Ambrose made me giggle by taking a witch's broom and flying through the air on it into an elbow. He should have done the Whoopie Cushion, though.Ambrose wins by DDT'ing Cesaro, who has a pumpkin on his head. This is funny. I liked this. An OKay Show. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members LaGoosh Posted November 3, 2014 Paid Members Share Posted November 3, 2014 Cesaro double superplexed Ambrose and a skeleton in this match which makes it a big thumbs up for me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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