Paid Members Linus Posted October 18, 2014 Paid Members Share Posted October 18, 2014 Hey, here's Rollins! Why is Rollins wet? Has he just come in from the rain? Does "wet" = "tough"? Yeah, it's Smackdown.He has a tiny head. And he's standing in the middle of the ring, wearing a weird outfit, carrying a tiny gold suitcase with MONEY IN THE BANK written on it, and he's telling me that I'll never be like him. He's got that fucking right.Rollins admits he sold out, but said he's going to put Ambrose out. What does "I'm going to put you out" even mean?Hey, things just got real (insert word here): here's Ziggler! He looks like Shane Douglas without the teaching degree. Oh, apparently they're having a match. Deep joy!Rollins does have a nice suplex. I'll give him that. I did mine on the wrong side. I'll claim it was lucha-style rather than bad teaching.Wait, did they just say Ziggler was world champion before? Has EVERYONE been world champion in this company?Ehh, it's alright. It's a decent enough match, but what's it for? It's not for the IC belt, and Rollins hasn't put his tiny gold suitcase on the line... maybe they're fighting for, I don't know, ranking points? I'm going to pretend they are.Rollins won with the kerb stomp. As he should. But the IC title means a little bit less now. You never saw Hogan kerb stomping The Mountie, I'll tell you that for nothing.Hey, here's Ambrose! He has a clipboard! Ambrose promises to do something to Rollins he can't even say on the show. I think it might be a bad thing.Hey, here's Kane! Kane, who gets beaten up with alarming reguarlity, just threatened Ambrose with a match against, yes, Kane, in the main event. Fear and trepidation.Shit, here's AJ! The first 24 minutes of the show were watchable, so of course they'll give me women now. Paige is on commentary. They recap the bit from Raw where AJ got angry at Layla for doing the same thing AJ did the week before. That's because it's Layla versus AJ because women.I think AJ is in an unhealthy relationship with the title belt.AJ won with an awkward Black Widow submission. And then Paige & Alicia weren't happy. Terrible, terrible scenes.Sheamus and Miz will fight at Hell In A Cell. Which means Mizdow will have to stay outside. FINALLY A HELL IN A CELL MATCH WHICH HAS AN ACTUAL REASON FOR BEING IN THE CELL.Sheamus is Irish. I realise this is not news to any of you. He also has a deep voice, but not as deep as Becky Lynch. Him and the Usos said stuff that embarassed them as much as built the next match.WYATT! IT'S COMING!Hey, it's Sheamus & the Usos! They're fighting Miz & the Dust Brothers! I want new feuds! Good guys won, like you care. Mizdow stole the show again by just pretending to be injured like Miz. Simple things, eh?The WWE went to Malaysia. The wrestlers looked like they had a fun time. I wasn't there, I didn't get to go. Fuck them.Big Show came out and tried to hype his match with Rusev. Even the 318 million Native Americans don't care. He then called out Mark Henry, and told a really unfunny anecdote, and then i'm not sure what happened but I think the Big Show just dumped Mark Henry.Then Rusev came out and did HIS best to try and hype the feud. He, too, failed, despite Lana's best Shut Tups.Nikki Bella has MASSIVE fake tits. Brie Bella seems to have a tattooed wanny. This isn't Wendi Richter & Rockin' Robin. Nikki Bella and Naomi had the best women's match I've seen since my return to Raw & Smackdown. It was still poor, though.Dean Ambrose is channeling Randy Savage is his promos. That's a good thing.Kane & Seth Rollins came out for the main event. Because they wear normal, long trousers and have bare chests, they look like chavs at the first sight of sun. The only thing missing is a can of Stella. You can have that gimmick for free. Actually, whatever happened to Baxter Burridge?Ambrose versus Corporate Kane, then. Corporate Kane is so corporate. All the corporate guys I know do sports in their suit trousers. He also has bad punches. Really bad punches. 17 years.I fucking love Dean Ambrose. He's the reason I'm watching wrestling again. But his topes are poor. Oh, joy, it's a two-on-one assault. The WWE must have a dreadful record of employee safety. BUT~! Ambrose fought them off! It's too long to the PPV.Not a good show. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Arch Stanton Posted October 18, 2014 Paid Members Share Posted October 18, 2014 Good review, but.... Miz vs Sheamus isn't a Cell match. Pay attention! Â I'm also disappointed that there was no mention of the hilarious Malaysian Bray Wyatt and Kane. Â Your efforts in actually sitting through an entire episode of SmackDown should be applauded though. Well done you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members tiger_rick Posted October 18, 2014 Paid Members Share Posted October 18, 2014 Why do they keep protecting Kane in matches with Ambrose? I'm all for keeping Kane fairly strong so beating him means something but Ambrose is exactly the type of guy who should be beating him to establish his place on the totem pole. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
King Pitcos Posted October 19, 2014 Share Posted October 19, 2014 I bet this is only like the ninth time that they've done Ambrose vs Kane since the Shield split, but it feels like a hundred. Â Nikki Bella might actually be the best diva wrestler now, which is a turn up for the books. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Linus Posted October 19, 2014 Paid Members Share Posted October 19, 2014 Good review, but.... Miz vs Sheamus isn't a Cell match. Pay attention!  I'm also disappointed that there was no mention of the hilarious Malaysian Bray Wyatt and Kane.  Your efforts in actually sitting through an entire episode of SmackDown should be applauded though. Well done you. Wait, aren't all the matches on Hell In A Cell in a cell? That makes no sense! And now that makes me fear Sheamus vs Miz because it might not end the feud  And Malaysian Wyatt & Kane weren't enough. I want a whole episode of Raw were, for no explained reason, all the wrestlers are Malaysian. Back to normal the next week. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Arch Stanton Posted October 19, 2014 Paid Members Share Posted October 19, 2014 It's fun reading all your posts as someone that is coming back to watching WWE after a long hiatus. I don't know quite how long you didn't watch it for, but it's like you've got a much fresher perspective to the rest of the regular posters here, which is cool. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Linus Posted October 19, 2014 Paid Members Share Posted October 19, 2014 I stopped watching regularly in 2004 and stopped even keeping up with things after Eddy Guerrero died. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The King Of Swing Posted October 19, 2014 Share Posted October 19, 2014  I think AJ is in an unhealthy relationship with the title belt.   She actually had the date she first won the Title tattooed on the back of her neck, I think JBL gave her some stick for it on commentary when she was going through her shit "pipe bomb" phase.  I can't get across just how much I fucking despise AJ. I think Pitcos branded her the worst face ever and I agree and I would gladly pay for  a PPV if it involved Stephanie McMahon squashing her like the irritating little bug that she is and sending her packing afterwards.  "Boss Lady" Ugh fuck off. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Arch Stanton Posted October 19, 2014 Paid Members Share Posted October 19, 2014 JBL absolutely buried her over and over on air for that tattoo. If it was anyone else I would have felt it was unjustified, but I hate AJ too, so let it slide.  The heel/face dynamic is all over the place in the Divas division, a total mess. Hardly any of them are naturally likeable, but even those that are supposed to be faces are booked as horrible bitches. The only exception might be Emma, who is booked as an irritating retard. I mean, this week on SmackDown, supposed babyface Brie Bella called her sister fat in a backstage promo. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
King Pitcos Posted October 19, 2014 Share Posted October 19, 2014 Wait, aren't all the matches on Hell In A Cell in a cell? That makes no sense! It makes as much sense as Royal Rumble having matches on the card that aren't Royal Rumble matches, Survivor Series having non-Survivor Series matches etc etc. The only one that really has an "every match fits the theme" gimmick is supposed to be Extreme Rules, I think, where every match is meant to have a stipulation/add-on of some sort. But they haven't even bothered with that the last few years.   And now that makes me fear Sheamus vs Miz because it might not end the feud Oh, you've been away from WWE too long. They don't have feuds for guys like these now. They just wrestle every week until someone in power arbitrarily decides to have them change to wrestling someone else every week. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The King Of Swing Posted October 19, 2014 Share Posted October 19, 2014 Mid card feuds? What king of strange future science is this? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members tiger_rick Posted October 19, 2014 Paid Members Share Posted October 19, 2014  Wait, aren't all the matches on Hell In A Cell in a cell? That makes no sense! It makes as much sense as Royal Rumble having matches on the card that aren't Royal Rumble matches, Survivor Series having non-Survivor Series matches etc etc. The only one that really has an "every match fits the theme" gimmick is supposed to be Extreme Rules, I think, where every match is meant to have a stipulation/add-on of some sort. But they haven't even bothered with that the last few years. TNA had an all cage matches PPV. And everyone complained because it watered down the effect of cage matches. Hell In A Cell has already been damaged by forcing matches into it every year with no reason behind them. Having every match in the cell would kill it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bosco Blick Posted October 19, 2014 Share Posted October 19, 2014 They should make this years Hell in a Cell PPV the last. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
andrew "the ref" coyne Posted October 19, 2014 Share Posted October 19, 2014 Â Â And now that makes me fear Sheamus vs Miz because it might not end the feud Oh, you've been away from WWE too long. They don't have feuds for guys like these now. They just wrestle every week until someone in power arbitrarily decides to have them change to wrestling someone else every week. Â Â Boy ain't that the truth. Something that doesn't quite sit right with me is the fact that the Miz and Cesaro, who were respectively challenging for the IC and US belts last month, have literally swapped opponents. Â Failed to win a midcard belt? To rewards, have a shot at another. Seems REALLY lazy to me. Â Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Philjax Posted October 20, 2014 Share Posted October 20, 2014 Linus' reviews almost make me want to watch Smackdown! Keep it up so I don't have to please Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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