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Facebook updates that blow your mind


SpursRiot2012

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Had a cracker earlier, on a Basildon group (recently moved there) which had since been deleted from someone angry of plans to open an African Takeaway. Words used included this is our town how dare they and too many foreigners.

 

Pleasingly she was ripped apart for being a dick and I felt quite proud of people berating such a racist post.

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Had a cracker earlier, on a Basildon group (recently moved there) which had since been deleted from someone angry of plans to open an African Takeaway. Words used included this is our town how dare they and too many foreigners.

 

Pleasingly she was ripped apart for being a dick and I felt quite proud of people berating such a racist post.

 

Stupid bint. African food is lovely.

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Well yes this is true, but from my experience working in a couple of towns around that part of Essex it's a lot more prominent than anywhere else where I've spend a significant amount of time (in the south east/home counties/London).

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One of my Facebook friends posted this today. Entertained me anyway: -

 

Facebook piss offs:

 

1) Men pouting in photos, girls look ridiculous enough, but lads....fucking stop it.

 

2) Girls with Ming from Flash Gordon eyebrows. Eyebrows are meant to deflect water from your eyes, they are NOT supposed to have corners....

 

3) People who write billy big bollocks statuses like...."to the man in the shop who just stood on my toe, it's a good job u had ur kids with u or I'd have knocked u out!" Or "to the woman in the green corsa who cut me up earlier then smiled at me at the lights, it's a good job the lights changed cos I was gonna get out and kick u square in the minge!".... Firstly they won't see that status because you don’t know them, secondly, why are you making out like you’d show any aggression towards them? You clearly said absolutely nothing to them, then ran home to write a status about what you would have done if you had some bollocks....

 

4) 30+ year old men describing good things as "sick"... Grow up...

 

5) Young people using Americanisms, like.. "We got a cab home and made out.." No mate, you fingered her in a taxi....

 

6) "New hair" posts...it’s not fucking new hair, it's your same old hair just shorter and laced with chemicals to make it the same colour as whichever pretty celeb you’re trying to copy... And by the way, she looks nice with red hair...you look like a tool.

 

7) Overnight nutritionists...I'm glad you recently discovered health and fitness 4 months ago, but knowing that chicken and rice is good clean food, doesn't mean you should post pics of your 8 prepped meals online every morning and preach how we should all be eating just that. Some of us like pizza thanks! Fuck off!!

 

8) People who post updates like "what time does the co-op open?" You clearly have internet access... Google it you fucking cabbage!!!

 

9) THIS!!!! Status: "completely devastated"

What's up babe?

U ok Hun?

What's happened?

"I've inboxed you...."

You nob....that’s all.

 

10) Pics of girls legs in the bath, just short of their tuppence...just pack it in, you attention seeking whore. The post isn't about… "peace at last"... It's about, "I'm naked and gagging for c**k, inbox me".

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I saw someone had liked and tagged someone with a short comment about a picture that was from 2 years ago about FB being offline during the 29th, 30th and 31st of February.

The idea of this joke is that it gets posted in a non leap year which of course is not this year. Went over their head this one.

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I found this beauty shortly after the Google tax let off.

 

Do these things in order, then reply back when you have.

First type in to the Google search bar 'Labour are'... Observe the negative Google suggestions, remember them but don't click on them.

Now type in 'green party are'. Remember the negative suggestions. Repeat these steps with 'lib dems are' and then 'SNP are'. After reading and remembering the negative Google suggestions try tying in 'conservatives are' and 'torys are'.

 

It is very interesting and it would be great to know what appeared prior to the tax agreement.

I'm not the 16 year old conspiracy theorist I once was, but it brought a smirk to my face.

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I found this beauty shortly after the Google tax let off.

 

Do these things in order, then reply back when you have.

First type in to the Google search bar 'Labour are'... Observe the negative Google suggestions, remember them but don't click on them.

Now type in 'green party are'. Remember the negative suggestions. Repeat these steps with 'lib dems are' and then 'SNP are'. After reading and remembering the negative Google suggestions try tying in 'conservatives are' and 'torys are'.

 

It is very interesting and it would be great to know what appeared prior to the tax agreement.

I'm not the 16 year old conspiracy theorist I once was, but it brought a smirk to my face.

 

I assume you got positive results for the Conservatives, but for me they all yielded the same.

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This is Google's search intent at it's optimum.

 

By themselves, "Labour are" and "green party are" are unambiguous. It's almost certain you are talking about the political party.

 

"Conservatives are" and "torys are" (not even a real word) are inconclusive. Change it to "conservative party is" and you get all sorts of muck.

 

If you had clicked on one of those previous suggestions in the same session, positive or negative, you can start to get more informed suggestions because Google infers you are interested in political party opinion pieces.

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