Monday Night Raw thread (23/04/12)

[JLM]

That was a long three hours (plus!)

 

Not sure about the opening segment. I thought it was perfect in terms of the story going into the match, but the problem is that the build for it is so short.

 

Cena losing a few more matches and getting all mopey and feeling sorry for himself and needing this pep talk from Edge going into the match would have been great, but here it felt like Edge was being overly dramatic given that Cena's post-mania depression is only a couple of weeks old. He lost one match against Tensai in very screwy circumstances, there's no need to shout at him!

 

But yeah, Edge's motivation for wanting Cena to beat Brock is believable and made a lot of sense and it was nice to see him, so that was fine at least.

 

Jericho/Kofi was very good as you'd expect. I'd like to see Kofi given something to do, though as I think I said last week I don't know if I'm missing a good reason why he doesn't get it. Is he a terrible promo? He doesn't have any discernible character other than being quite a chirpy guy but I haven't seen him in an angle or given any promo time so I don't necessarily blame him. Regardless, he's reliable for a cracking TV match every week if nothing else.

 

Liked the highlights of Brock vs Jeff Hardy. They're handling Brock's return damn near flawlessly so far.

 

Stop making A-train speak Japanese. Fucking Hell. Fucking. Hell. The posing is stupid too. I love shitty Wrestlecrap gimmicks (I loved Morcecai even. Mordecai!), but this is horrendous. That said, he pulled out his best performance as Tensai to date here I reckon. He had a sense of urgency and intensity about him andit felt like a real beating as opposed to a plodding snoozefest. R-Truth is a little bit pointless.

 

Kane vs Orton zzzzz... yay Paul Bearer cameo... Kane vs Orton zzzzzzz....

 

The Show/Khali/Rhodes/Del Rio tag match could have been a lot worse. Big Show did a great job and I always enjoy a classic cut the ring in half tag match.

 

Just to put another good word in for Del Rio as he's been further proven to divide opinion on here this week; I think he's great.

 

The gimmick is clich

[Dai]

I thought the last segment was terrible. Brock rambling on about nothing of significance for what seemed like 15 minutes is not what he should be doing. The 30 second angle with Josh Matthews was 100 times more memorable and effective than what came later. I guess they were trying to sell the fact that Cena was scared to come out, but it didnt make any sense as he showed no signs of fear when he came out for the original contract signing. Very flat end to the segment, too.

 

 

The diva's match had a very strange ending. Not even mentioning the fact that the divas just let them stand outside the ring without even attempting to go over to them, the whole injury thing was very strange. Seemed to clearly be a work, which just made it weird. Whether they exectuted it wrong, or it really was planned to be this shit, I dont know. The fact they tried to pass off the Bella as the face and Beth as the heel made the ending even stranger.

[JLM]

Listening to the LAW review, the thinking is that they want the belt on Kharma without Beth losing it, so they went for an injury angle. The Bella twins are both supposedly gone in a couple of weeks too, so she'll hae to drop it pretty soon. I didn't get the flicking between face/heel thing at the end at all.

 

I agree that the backstage segment with Josh Matthews was more effective (best thing on the show by miles for me), but I quite enjoyed Brock prattling on at the end because he seems like such a genuine obnoxious prick.

[King Pitcos]

Brock Lesnar's got a good aura about him, but he's a really crap wrestling promo. Trips over himself, repeats points, chooses words poorly. I don't think any of the things he did this week hyped the match or did any great shakes for the show. And Cena being scared to turn up to the contract signing at the end of the show when he'd happily trotted down at the beginning was a bit stupid, unless A) I missed a reason they gave for his hesitance, B) Edge's pep-talk had the opposite effect of what it intended, or C) he thought "fucking hell, he battered Josh Matthews, I've got no chance now." Was the Stifler bloke in the crowd from Brock's return there last night as well?

 

I liked the Jericho and Punk thing more than I do most weeks. "I didn't see the line. The line's never there!" Punk, being either pissed or stupid in real life, blew his backwards-alphabet sober reveal though.

[GalaxyV.2]

Would have been great if Paul E. had returned to talk for Brock. Paul E. can cut a great promo, building up Brock even more. Lesnar the silent destroyer. A shame really.

[METAL ON METAL]

WWE.com say an added stipulation has been set for Cena vs. Lesnar in that if Lesnar wins, Raw will be renamed Monday Night Raw: starring Brock Lesnar.

[d-d-d-dAz]

Oh, that'd be amazing for a few weeks.

[NEWM]

Scott Keith made an observation which, though I don't particularly think has much significance, was still pretty fun: The three "Brock fucks people up, you know" segments had him ploughing through three of (if not the three) TNA's current biggest names.

 

Overall, if this was 2 hours and I wasn't watching live, this was a pretty good Raw. But it was 3, and I was, so parts of it fucking hummed. HATED the Jericho/Punk segment and felt awkward just watching the performances of pretty much everybody in it. Tensai still got nowt for me either. The Divas were good, and though I

[neil is brill]

Brock Lesnar's got a good aura about him, but he's a really crap wrestling promo. Trips over himself, repeats points, chooses words poorly.

 

"I know the feeling you're feeling is a real feeling because I feel it!"

[d-d-d-dAz]

I'm not going to get chance to see Raw this week, so i've just hunted down the 'highlights' on youtube.

 

The acting, across the board, was fucking atrocious. Like, i've seen extra's on CSI; MIAMI with better acting chops than, on last nights evidence, CM Punk/Jericho and Lesnar have put together. It was the fucking drizzlers.

 

Lesnar should never, ever do his super soft, 'HEY, I'M SUPER LAID BACK. I'M THE SUPER LAID BACK KING. OOH, YEAH, YOU FRIGHTENED? I CAN FEEL IT, CAUSE IVE FELT IT, WHAT A FEELING, HAVE YOU FELT IT? MMMMMM YEAH, FEELINGS. JUST LISTENING TO ME SOME SOUL MUSIC. OOH YEAH, SOUL TRAIN...' voice unless he's trying to distract me.

 

In general, though, they are hitting the right notes with his booking. But, they should definitely stick to him killing people; talking in pre-tapes or limiting him to 10 words or fewer.

 

But, by Jesus, he was incredible compared to the Jericho/Punk saga.

 

A feud so bad that at this point it resembles a miscarriage running down the leg of disappointment.

 

I mean, peering through barely opened doors whilst Alex Riley looked on, in some sort of wrestling-cum-scooby-shitting-doo nightmare was awful but that bloody drunk test thing was the worst a WWE title feud has ever got. And, I mean that. Punk's usually got his head above water in this travesty, but he was just as bad. Mainly because his alphabet reveal was a nightmare. He was right the first time, no one knows how to do that. He should have just said 'Hey, Teddy, I've got another test...' and just started beating the piss out of Jericho.

 

Fake policemen are shit.

 

Jericho's a cunt. Just a horrible, useless little man with tits that look like they've been internally stitched to his clavicle. He clearly thinks he's ace too. And, oh yeah, 'pipe bomb' Jericho? ...Really? I get the intention but you just said the same stuff you've been saying all along but with a really weird repeat use of the word extreme.

 

So, to finish, what an extremely extreme pile of shit.

 

[/pipebomb]

[Kurtos_LeFenta]

if anyone is wondering where David Otunga is, i would guess he is at the Hudson family murder trial, where his wife is giving evidence

[Loligan]

Thought Raw was a bit weird this week. Probably due to the 3 hour thing. They dont seem to think about what to put on the extra hour they just make the matches slightly longer then put filler on.

 

Teddy Long makes me wanna cry. Can someone explain his upside to me? He's doesnt even generate sympathy cause he's such a non entity. Terrible performer and a poor speaker. Sooner he is history the better.

 

Liked the Jericho / Punk stuff but this feud has been terrible so far so for me it has the feeling of "just get this over with" now.

 

Brock's arrival was the best bit. I agree he shouldnt talk though, he is horrible at anything more than a few lines. Trys to put his own twist on it and then fucks it right up. You can tell as well as really Johnny Ace agreed to the raw name change deal and now all of a sudden its a stipulation of the match.

 

Also had a thought as to why the ratings never seem to go up any more, people dont watch it on TV anymore. Most people I know now watch it on youtube. My skybox cut off but I could see every segment on my phone on wwe.com.

[Retro Red]

if anyone is wondering where David Otunga is, i would guess he is at the Hudson family murder trial, where his wife is giving evidence

 

Y'know I actually did notice he was missing and got worried he'd been replaced by Eve and wouldn't be back. It was odd him not being there, but I guess they could hardly reference it, being a sensitive subject and all.

[ColinBollocks]

It must just be me, but I thought Raw was alright this week.

 

I loved the Lesnar stuff, personally. Aye, he talked shite that made little sense at times, but the biggest/best wrestlers have always talked shite (Hogan, Rock, Sting, Piper, Savage, Flair etc). The key is doing so with a bit of charisma and personality, and Lesnar came across the way he was meant to - a smug monster, with supreme confidence. My only problem was it ended a little flat, compared to weeks previous. I think another massive brawl taking it off the air would have worked better.

 

I thought the Jericho/Punk stuff was a feud best (other than CMong Punk screwing up the alphabet), the crowd were at least into it. It has taken them long enough.

 

Lord Tensia was better this week. He wasn't as plodding.

 

Sheamus is a girl.

 

One thing that I've noticed post-Mania is the quality of Raw matches has increased drastically, even the Divas were watchable.

[Up Chuck]

JLM said pretty much everything I came in to say and then some. I'll just add one thing - anyone else noticed that they've accidentally built a tag team turmoil match perfectly? Everyone's beating the tag champs, thrown-together (Ryder/Santino) or debuting (Young/O'Neil) teams are getting wins over established ones, and it'd all be set perfectly for Primo & Epico/Usos/Swaggler/Show & Khali/Ryder & Santino/Young & O'Neil and maybe some other NXT team if there is one. But obviously Santino's on the pre-show and Show's got Cody again. They'll probably have a tag title four-way or something, I guess.

 

EDIT: Here, have an utterly inconsequential video of everyone singing 'Happy Birthday' to Cena after the show.