Jump to content

Cockney wrestling rhyming slang

Kaz Hayashi

Recommended Posts

  • Paid Members

You know how it works,


Apples and pairs = Stairs


Bag of sand = Grand



Lets see if it can be done with wrestlers, but it has to make sense to some degree, for example;



Unable = King Mable


Fucking hums = Bart Gunn


Filthy bitch = Tammy Sytch



This will probs die a death, but i dunno, give it a go!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Paid Members

Slight variation, but fuck it, have another Slamthology excerpt freebie:


The No-Show ditties (Suckerpunch, December 1997)


(This list, like so many things at the time, came out of a drunken conversation with Matt after a night in the student bar. What started as an off-hand remark about Buddy Landell's alleged unreliability when it came to making booked shows turned into a parlour game that was libellous, utterly pointless and curiously addictive.)


1) You never can tell with Buddy Landell.

2) Life's a bitch when you book Tommy Rich.

3) You may pay his bill but you won't see Doug Gilbert.

4) You ain't seen tardy till you've booked Barry Hardy.

5) There are many examples of an AWOL Mike Samples.

6) You must be unstable if you trust King Mabel.

7) It's not fun and games when you book Jesse James.

8) For unreliable brawler see Mongolian Mauler.

9) You've not seen moody till you book Sid Eudy.

10) Trouble always ensues when you book Mr. Hughes.

11) You'll lose out on the deal with Jungle Jim Steele.

12) An experienced booker won't use Jimmy Snuka.

13) The show'll be over before you see Super Nova.

14) Only true fools will trust the Pitbulls.

15) You'll be sitting alone waiting for Carlos Colon.

16) Best rebook the show if you've hired Sir Mo.

17) Life can be hell with Jim Brunzell.

18) Don't Say You'll Be There to B. Brian Blair.

19) It really ain't fun when you wait for Bart Gunn.

20) It's sure to go wrong when you book an Armstrong.

21) You'll soon be forgotten if you trust Ian Rotten.

22) It's gonna be hell when you book Rick Martel.

23) You'll need a good lawyer with Wing Kanemura.

24) A real act of folly is booking Bob Holly.

25) Only a gambler would pay cash for NAMBLA.

26) There's usually no sign of Greg Valentine.

27) For professional worker forget the Berserker.

28) The locker room's bare with Koko B. Ware.

29) In a month of Sundays you'll never see Bundy.

30) Advances? Don't bank `em if you're waiting for Yankem.

31) There's absolutely no way you'll see Jimmy Del Ray.

32) I want to let every guy know not to trust Tommy Cairo.

33) It's really bad form to book Devon Storm.

34) You'll be refunding fans if you've hired Otto Wanz.

35) You'll soon kill your town if you trust Bad News Brown.

36) You'll be back to shelf-stacker if you book Pat Tanaka.

37) Only a schmuck would trust Bunkhouse Buck.

38) Trouble always ensues when you book Curtis Hughes.

39) Unreliable Latino? David Sammartino.

40) Forget word of mouth when it comes to George South.

41) You're acting madly when you pay for Boo Bradley.

42) A blind man can see not to trust JYD.

43) I'm too long in the tooth to book Flaming Youth.

44) For well-known slackers try the Bushwhackers.

45) If you hate no-shows forget the Romeros.

46) Even Houdini can't produce the Blue Meanie.

47) There's little appeal in booking George Steele.

48) When he's late and he's greedy you know it's Bill Eadie.

49) You'll be looking forlorn when you wait for Matt Borne.

50) Best call the show off if you've booked Ivan Koloff.

51) You will never be sorrier than when you book Vampire Warrior.

52) You'll be waiting a while if you've booked Killer Kyle.

53) It really ain't that nice being let down by Rod Price.

54) You'll need damn good specs to find Moondog Rex.

54) He's taken a hike? Yep, that's Moondog Spike.

55) You lose everything when you book Moondog King.

56) Want them there on the dot? Forget Moondog Spot.

57) There's no one that's later than PWA's Hater.

58) King of the liars is surely Hack Myers.

59) You'll have to search far to find Jesse Barr.

60) We were turning the corner till we trusted Tim Horner.

61) My first major fumble was to book Tony Rumble.

62) I was playing a blinder till I booker the Spellbinder.

63) It all ends in tears with Colonel DeBeers.

64) It works out much dearer with Primo Carnera.

65) Only a moron would swallow an excuse from Ray Apollo.

66) Week after week there's no Iron Sheik.

67) It could take a stalker to find Bobby Walker.

68) Only the insane would trust Sweet Stan Lane.

Link to comment
Share on other sites


This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

  • Create New...