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The Lucha Libre Thread


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Cornette isn't a fan

 

 

 

This f***ing Lucha Underground horse shit. That is the most heinous horse shit that I’ve ever seen in my life. We joked off the air and I said “well I’ll probably like the match, but I wont like the concept of the show because it has writers.” I didnt like nothing. This is more embarrassing than anything I could have dreamed of. Its a TV show. Its a movie. Its not wrestling. Its not a sport. They make no pretence of even attempting to make this shit believable. The production is incredible. It looks like Scorsese directed it. The cinematography is wonderful. It looks like a John Ford western, whatever the f***. I cant say enough about the production. And its another nail in the coffin of wrestling to being taken seriously as a sport or anything that’s not completely predetermined. There’s nobody on the face of the planet that could watch this shit and believe that there is any legitimacy to it whatsoever. It shouldn't be called pro wrestling at all. Its a movie and they’re wrestling in the movie. That’s all it f***ing is. That backstage horse shit that obviously takes multiple takes to shoot something like that. Nobodies believing these people. Its a scripted performance of a movie or a TV show. That’s all that shit is. 

And then, good God. I watched Prince Puma and Felix. I know Lucha is obviously acrobatic. But this was a choreographed f***ing Chinese acrobat Olympic gymnastics tumbling routine. That’s all that f***ing was. And the three-way ladder match is more garbage horse shit hardcore wrestling where they’re beating each other up with furniture that doesn’t work with you and somebody is going to get killed. And just more of this ladder goofiness. And the recap of the year, where there’s Vampiro hitting people with light tubes and thumb tacks on the ground. And John Morrison, I like, he was a OVW guy. I like him as a person. I’m sorry to see him in that atmosphere instead of real wrestling. 

The only way to save this god damn horse shit is if they get everyone in that f***ing Temple who is associated with Lucha Underground and all the tapes of everything they’ve ever shot and put it in the same place and then drop a nuclear f***ing bomb on the whole god damn thing. That would be the best way to treat Lucha Underground if you are a wrestling fan who has any pride in pro wrestling as a performer, as a professional or as a fan, because its more writers happy horse shit making wrestlers phony.
 

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Cornette isn't a fan

 

 

 

This f***ing Lucha Underground horse shit. That is the most heinous horse shit that I’ve ever seen in my life. We joked off the air and I said “well I’ll probably like the match, but I wont like the concept of the show because it has writers.” I didnt like nothing. This is more embarrassing than anything I could have dreamed of. Its a TV show. Its a movie. Its not wrestling. Its not a sport. They make no pretence of even attempting to make this shit believable. The production is incredible. It looks like Scorsese directed it. The cinematography is wonderful. It looks like a John Ford western, whatever the f***. I cant say enough about the production. And its another nail in the coffin of wrestling to being taken seriously as a sport or anything that’s not completely predetermined. There’s nobody on the face of the planet that could watch this shit and believe that there is any legitimacy to it whatsoever. It shouldn't be called pro wrestling at all. Its a movie and they’re wrestling in the movie. That’s all it f***ing is. That backstage horse shit that obviously takes multiple takes to shoot something like that. Nobodies believing these people. Its a scripted performance of a movie or a TV show. That’s all that shit is. 

And then, good God. I watched Prince Puma and Felix. I know Lucha is obviously acrobatic. But this was a choreographed f***ing Chinese acrobat Olympic gymnastics tumbling routine. That’s all that f***ing was. And the three-way ladder match is more garbage horse shit hardcore wrestling where they’re beating each other up with furniture that doesn’t work with you and somebody is going to get killed. And just more of this ladder goofiness. And the recap of the year, where there’s Vampiro hitting people with light tubes and thumb tacks on the ground. And John Morrison, I like, he was a OVW guy. I like him as a person. I’m sorry to see him in that atmosphere instead of real wrestling. 

 

The only way to save this god damn horse shit is if they get everyone in that f***ing Temple who is associated with Lucha Underground and all the tapes of everything they’ve ever shot and put it in the same place and then drop a nuclear f***ing bomb on the whole god damn thing. That would be the best way to treat Lucha Underground if you are a wrestling fan who has any pride in pro wrestling as a performer, as a professional or as a fan, because its more writers happy horse shit making wrestlers phony. 

 

 

Sorry but did that ship not sail years ago? He appears to have missed the point by a considerable distance.

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If Cornette posted on here he would be absolutely slaughtered, laughed out of the place. He'd probably wind up suspended inside a week and leading the Dolt Of The Year noms. He's an entertaining idiot at times, but what a fucking dinosaur. LU is the most progressive thing to happen to the business in two decades.

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Seems ironic that that Cornette rant should appear when the Ivelisse angle was some of the best storytelling in and out of the ring in yonks.

 

Watched this on an actual TV rather than my tablet, and the difference between vignette camera work and ring jars a little, but that's the only criticism I have of this fantastic show.

 

Marty the Moth as actual sex pest is a helluva twist for a guy who was basically a fat creepy dork. I just hope his "sister" isn't just him in drag or some other exotico.

 

Great bookended storytelling for Vampiro. The look on his face when he saw Pentagon (with awesome red mask) was excellent, and added to the "ooooh shiiit" ness of the moment. The commentators get angles! It's actually got me excited to see if Striker ends up involved in something, apparently accidentally enabling Vamp's inevitable relapse.

 

But yeah, the whole three-way, main and closing were epic. Everyone of the three came off cool in their own way, they didn't have to split up as a group to have a competitive high-stakes match, the ending made sense, and Ivelisse looked like the baddest chick on the planet (and the wife was utterly fixated on her bra - "she's been thrown all over the place and hasn't fallen out once!").

 

Mil fu cking Muertes. If he'd had his cape, he'd have been the hardest looking bastard on earth. Yes, Jim, guys in masks leaping about the place come off as tougher than "real" wrestlers. Wife commented that everything seemed much more intense and aggressive than WWE. I don't know if its the exaggerated body language needed because of the masks, but the fact that Mil and Pumas actually pointed and motioned at each other rather than stand there staring was much more realistic and exciting. Nice to have a show where the wrestlers aren't trying to act too cool to give a shit. Everything matters SOOOO MUCH on LU.

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There were rumours that WWE were interested in bringing in Angelico. Can you imagine how shit that would be? He'd be Justin Gabriel 2.0. The thing is with LU is that a fair few of the people in it aren't even that good wrestlers but they have a unique something that LU focuses on and builds around which makes them awesome to watch, rather than constantly exposed and dull.

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