aaron Posted June 27, 2011 Share Posted June 27, 2011 Whats up UKFF? I had a real surreal day yesterday and want to to hear from other people who have had similar experiences. Any advice that gets my head back together would be welcome. Anyone who wants to share a story to help me not complete despise the few relations I have left... please do.  My half-sister that I never knew about found me. She's 21. I never knew.  My family lied to me before they died and, thanks to facebook, I've found the truth.  I'm so happy to have a new sister but also so angry that I don't know her. It's fucked. My Nan would babysit her - with us there! So we could have been playing with our sister - had we had the inclincation to play with little kids.  My Dad, her Dad, died in my arms when he was 36, I was 16. 7 years ago Granddad dies, 4 years ago my Nan - and I had to organise her funeral.  They all knew about my new sister  I went with my Nan to Windsor in Canada to stay with some of her friends for a couple of weeks not long after my Granddad died. Turns ou the family we stayed with were my sister's Aunt, Uncle and Cousins.  I fucking love being human sometimes because love is wonderful and amazing... but fucking hell. My family. The gift that keeps on giving.  Anything that make me feel less like a knobhead on a Jeremy Kyle know would be appreciated.  Cheers.  Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Glenryck Pilchards Posted June 27, 2011 Share Posted June 27, 2011 Wow, that must have been a massive shock to the system! The fact that she has found you is a great indication that she wants to bury the hatchet whatever it may have been, so if I were you I would embrace her with open arms for her great courage. Families are full of secrets and when it comes out of the blue like this people react in different ways. You probably don't know the reasons why your parents shut your sister out of your life but you can't let that be a hurdle accepting her into your life. Â My girlfriend has a half sister that she hasn't met. This is due to her Dad's first marriage basically exploded and the break-up was pretty rough. His ex-wife wrongly accused him of GBH and he spent a night in the cells, her Dad would not harm a fly though. From what I have heard of the ex she was a horrible vindictive bitch who would not allow access to his daughter. After years of lengthy court battles he gave up and he hasn't seen his daughter for 20 years and most likely won't see her again due to her mother feeding her lies and he won't be able to give his side of the story. Â This will be an interesting new chapter in your life but do make the effort to get to know her. There will be difficult conversations in the road ahead but it is best to face these heads on and I am sure other members of the UKFF will give you there stories of awkward family situations to help you through this. Â Good luck! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Your Fight Site Posted June 27, 2011 Paid Members Share Posted June 27, 2011 So does your half-sister live in Canada, and you in England, or are you still in Canada now? And how old are you? You sound older than 21 if that makes sense and with no offense intended if you aren't? Â She went to the trouble of finding you and telling the truth by revealing her true relation to you. Offer the same, meet up and have a chat some place quiet and just talk about your lives. That way you'll find out whether she's someone worth keeping in touch with or not (I know that sounds horrible! But it's not meant to). Â I have no similar experience so this is only my outside-looking-in perspective but whatever you do, I hope it has a positive outcome. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Surf Digby Posted June 27, 2011 Paid Members Share Posted June 27, 2011 I discovered I had a secret half sister on Boxing Day when I was 28. Â My Dad broke the news gently to me by coming back from answering the phone and saying "That was your sister, she's on her way over". This confused me, as both my sisters were already there. I was left to fill in the blanks myself. Â From that surreal and awkward evening, no more was said (and indeed, he's still not mentioned her again since, and that was 7 years ago), and nothing more was done until about 3 years ago when she looked me up on Facebook. It's still very weird, particularly when she makes a comment about "her Dad", and she was talking about her Mum this week - who was at some point my Dad's knock off - but we exchange messages every so often, comment on each others pics (such as her pointing out my uncanny resemblance to Sonny Crockett last night), but we've not actually met again since then. Â It's still a weird topic around family. I've no idea if my two "full sisters" have anything to do with her, but as she added someone with the same (unmarried) name as my younger sister the other day, I'm guessing not. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Retro Red Posted June 27, 2011 Share Posted June 27, 2011 Not me personally, but my Dad found out in his late 30s that he had a Norwegian older half sister due to my gramps knocking boots with a Viking during the war. We met her and her daughter a couple of times over the next couple of years, but nothing since then in the last 25 years or so. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members chokeout Posted June 27, 2011 Paid Members Share Posted June 27, 2011 I discovered I had a secret half sister on Boxing Day when I was 28. My Dad broke the news gently to me by coming back from answering the phone and saying "That was your sister, she's on her way over". This confused me, as both my sisters were already there. I was left to fill in the blanks myself.  Almost exactly the same thing happened to me. When I was 11 My Dad, my brother and me were in a shop and my dad chatted to the guys behind the counter for a bit and the woman with them for about 5 minutes then as I walked out I asked who they were and he said 'your brothers' and that is literally the only time he has ever mentioned them and it was the most casual thing hes ever said. I honestly think if we hadn't have walked into that shop he never would have told us. Turns out he had twin boys about 2 years before he met my mum and the relationship broke down really badly. Everyone in my family seemed to know about them apart from me, my brother and my sister which pissed me off more than anything. One of them actually got back in touch with me via Facebook about 6 months ago and it turns out they both lived about 4 miles from me my entire life and used to spend time with my Nan and Grandad and remember spending time with my sister when she was a baby.  On a side note when he got back in touch with me i jokingly told my brother they were after Bone Marrow and he refused to add him on Facebook. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Dead Mike Posted June 27, 2011 Paid Members Share Posted June 27, 2011 Facebook's great for stuff like this. I've got 3 half brothers that I've not seen since I was about 8. My dad (now dead) was married before he married my mum. I'd never really thought about them much, they live in Norfolk & are all a few years older than me. A couple of years ago I got a friend request & instantly recognised the name. Had a good look at the picture & it was like looking in a fucking mirror Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aaron Posted June 27, 2011 Author Share Posted June 27, 2011 So does your half-sister live in Canada, and you in England, or are you still in Canada now? And how old are you? You sound older than 21 if that makes sense and with no offense intended if you aren't? She went to the trouble of finding you and telling the truth by revealing her true relation to you. Offer the same, meet up and have a chat some place quiet and just talk about your lives. That way you'll find out whether she's someone worth keeping in touch with or not (I know that sounds horrible! But it's not meant to).  I have no similar experience so this is only my outside-looking-in perspective but whatever you do, I hope it has a positive outcome.  Hello mate - we both live in Folkestone and I'm 33. No offence taken  Canada was a two week holiday (to stay with friends of my Nan and Granddad shortly after his death - I now believe those friends to be relatives of my sister)  I'm hoping to get to meet her at some point. My sister, one I grew up with (aged 31), met her two weeks ago... didn't tell me that till yesterday though (sneaky fucks, the lot of them!)  Thanks for your words fella.  El Espanacas - thanks for a great post mate.  baz, chokeout... your stories are mental too. Like, wow! They are good to hear right now  mike... yeah man, without facebook I doubt I would have ever learned the truth. I love living in the future. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members ReturnOfTheMack Posted June 27, 2011 Paid Members Share Posted June 27, 2011 I have a half brother who doesnt know about me. My dad split my my stepmum for a while and got with this other woman who ended up having his son. This lad was then adopted by her new fella after my dad and her split up. My dad thought it was better for Robbie that way. Â Now I check his facebook page every now and then, hoping that he mentions the situation so I can chat with him. But until then I keep quiet as its nto my place to break the news to him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aaron Posted June 27, 2011 Author Share Posted June 27, 2011 I have a half brother who doesnt know about me. My dad split my my stepmum for a while and got with this other woman who ended up having his son. This lad was then adopted by her new fella after my dad and her split up. My dad thought it was better for Robbie that way. Now I check his facebook page every now and then, hoping that he mentions the situation so I can chat with him. But until then I keep quiet as its nto my place to break the news to him.  How old is your half-brother? Is the situation likely to arise without you forcing it? I would never have known about my half-sister had it not been for my half-sister herself coming forward... harder in your boat though. You gotta wait till your brother's an adult I reckon Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chiefdave Posted June 27, 2011 Share Posted June 27, 2011 Ex girlfriend of mine got told by her Mum that her Dad had died years ago. Turns out he hadn't, he was Canadian and had gone back there when they'd split up and her Mum had never let him have any contact or passed on letters etc. Â She only found out when he did actually die and some of his relatives in Canada tracked her down and invited her to the funeral. She had a half brother and loads of other family out there. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr.PeterVenkman Posted June 27, 2011 Share Posted June 27, 2011 Is this the Hollyoaks thread? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Glenryck Pilchards Posted June 27, 2011 Share Posted June 27, 2011 Is this the Hollyoaks thread? Sorry to break this to you, but you are an adopted orphan. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
King Pitcos Posted June 27, 2011 Share Posted June 27, 2011 I know someone who had a shamebaby and gave it to the parents and pretended to be the sister. I know two people who've done that, actually. The one girl had a really strict stepdad who was probably a molestor, and his name was John. The girl had a younger half-brother called John, who was the stepdad's son. And she called her shamebaby Jonathan, which I assume was also some kind of tribute to the stepdad. So when she gave it to her mother and stepdad, they were raising a John and a Jonathan as brothers. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Philo_Vance Posted June 27, 2011 Share Posted June 27, 2011 I know a fella who's got two brothers, both called Brian. Never wanted to ask how that came about. We differentiate by referring to one of them as 'slow Brian'. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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