Weird and Crazy Murders

[Carbomb]

I remember reading about that German zoo-keeper a few years back, who'd gone to give an elephant with diarrhoea its suppositary medicine - unfortunately, the elephant let out a massive fart, which made him trip and hit his head on a rock. The elephant then proceeded to dump the contents of its bowels on to the unconscious zoo-keeper, causing him to die from asphyxiation.

 

Awful for the guy, but it must have been pretty bad for the poor sod who had to deliver such news to the family.

 

Anyway, as a murder thing, I have no idea. Just thought I'd post that story.

[Max Power]

That's superb.

 

Back to the OP, it must be difficult for any authors to come up with original stuff anymore. After all, we've had all kinds of fruitcakes who bury bodies under patios, fire sniper rifles from car boots, murder prostitues, cook and eat their victims and rape women on railway lines.

 

How about having a look through the old "How to dispose of a body thread" for ideas? As an added bonus its a superb read, with some posters on here thinking about it way too seriously.

 

I watched Crimewatch:Solved on monday, and that showed a bloke who lured a taxi driver to an obscure place and shot him and a bloke who strangled a woman and buried a body in some huge farm estate - but he got itchy feet and the police completely did him when they started to randomly dig near his grave. He then panicked and went back to where he buried his victim but couldn't find her - the coppers then found her by digging in the vicinity.

 

You should write about some kind of serial killer who's murders are linked by some obscure references a la The Zodiac Killer. But this time, have your detective come up trumps late on and solve the case because he went to school with the killer, and who's methods of murder and link to each one was something that was common to them both at school.

 

Or something.

[Mr_Danger]

How about a social misfit that wants to immortalise himself as a serial killer. So as to cement his antics in history (and hopefully get a cool nickname by the press), he comes up with the idea of rubbing something poisonous onto his nob, and then go out hiring prostitutes. Of course, it all goes a bit squiffy as he's poisoning himself peniley.

 

Bonus points if the character of Detective Inspector Sprules is in it.

I quite like this idea but to prolong the story a bit i'd have him use specially made condoms poisonous from the outside. Then one night he could be rather taken with a fine lady, a trophy piece if you will, however in his over zealousness he puts the condom on inside out.

[Surf Digby]

I'd rather he came undone from a lack of forsight, rather than Mr Bean-esque absent mindedness.

 

Unless you're basing him on Stapey.

[Magnum]

Watch any episode of Monk.

[Surf Digby]

Quincey > Monk.

[gmoney]

Columbo >Quincy >Monk

[Dan Williams]

Quincey > Monk.

 

Blasphemy, Monk will always be the ultimate detective in my eyes, I cried when it ended.

[WWFChilli]

Columbo >Quincy >Monk

 

winner

[Surf Digby]

Quincy had a car phone. And entertained nubile young ladies on his boat.

 

Quincy's my hero.

[PowerButchi]

Quincy even had a little oriental assistant. Beat that Columbo!

[Dan Williams]

To be fair Monks 2nd assistant was pretty fine Natalie Teger

[gmoney]

Columbo had a dog. And a dirty coat.

[TAFKA Family Guy PMSL]

Columbo >Quincy >Monk

 

Luther > Columbo >Quincy >Monk

 

Not only is a stereotypical maverick detective, but Dr Who is shagging his ex-wife, and he can clean a smashed-up room in less than 60 seconds.

[Van Dammer]

How about a social misfit that wants to immortalise himself as a serial killer. So as to cement his antics in history (and hopefully get a cool nickname by the press), he comes up with the idea of rubbing something poisonous onto his nob, and then go out hiring prostitutes. Of course, it all goes a bit squiffy as he's poisoning himself peniley.

 

Bonus points if the character of Detective Inspector Sprules is in it.

 

Kind of similar here, oddly. For one of my creative writing course-works I wrote a comedy about a misfit who wanted to immortalise himself as a serial killer, however, he fails on around half a dozen attempts in hilarious fashion and end up killing himself. I also wrote about a kid who accidentally burned his house down and killed his parents and made it to look like arson (not Wenger). Got an A on both, but I wrote about way too many moiders.