Paid Members ColinBollocks Posted August 25, 2009 Paid Members Share Posted August 25, 2009 After seeing him for the first time on You Have Been Watching tonight, I think Jack Whitehall is fully deserving of his place on this list. I agree also. He started out with a couple of decent lines but from there on in everything he said was painfully unfunny and it was met with silence - so it was worth it just to see him fall flat. Â Not sure Brooker is a fan either. He seemed to get slightly more annoyed with him as the show got older. Although Brooker has an unwritten rule where he hates most young people. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kendal mint cake Posted August 26, 2009 Share Posted August 26, 2009 These write-ups are hilarious, by far my favourite recent Top50 thread. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Awards Moderator HarmonicGenerator Posted August 26, 2009 Author Awards Moderator Share Posted August 26, 2009 12 Michael McIntyre  What's he famous for? Comedy, apparently.  And he's a twat because... He's a smug, self-loving cunt. He laughs at his own jokes, and his laugh itself is horrendous, which makes it even worse. He deals with horrendous stereotypes despite unknowingly being one himself. He's somehow managed to get to the stage of doing arena tours, and he's just not funny. Ponce.  Was he voted a Top Twat? No.  And so to summarise, Michael McIntyre is worse than... Rape.     11 The Mighty Boosh (but particularly Noel Fielding)  What are they famous for? Their TV programme and being well in with the NME, innit  And they're twats because... Says one voter, how can you not like the Mighty Boosh? It's so 'random'. Never mind that it's not particularly funny and makes no sense. [Fielding is] another one of those skinny jean-wearing twats who've contributed to the younger generation looking and smelling a lot messier these days.  Were they voted a Top Twat? Yes.  And so to summarise, The Mighty Boosh are worse than... skinny jeans and the rest of the twats who wear them. And students. Also students.     10 Chris Moyles  What's he famous for? Being fat, rude and on the radio.  And he's a twat because... To paraphrase a couple of voters, he's an unfunny cunt who surrounds himself with other unfunny cunts who think they're funny cunts. You actually feel yourself becoming less witty, funny and intelligent as you listen to him talk. Shut up, just shut the fuck up you fat fucking fuck.  Was he voted a Top Twat? Surprisingly, no.  And so to summarise, Chris Moyles is worse than... The BNP.     So we're into the top 10 now, here's the list so far.  30 Alex Turner 29 The Ting Tings 28 Johnny Vegas 27 Peter Kay 26 Jade Goody 25 Frankie Boyle 24 Cristiano Ronaldo 23 Jack Whitehall 22 Princess Diana 21 Gok Wan 20 P!nk 19 Pete Doherty 18 Jeremy Clarkson 17 Oasis/Liam Gallagher 16 Morrissey 15 Jonathan Ross 14 Lewis Hamilton 13 Jamie Oliver 12 Michael McIntyre 11 The Mighty Boosh/Noel Fielding 10 Chris Moyles Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members ColinBollocks Posted August 26, 2009 Paid Members Share Posted August 26, 2009 There is still far more pleasure in a raping than a McIntyre gig. Really loathe the guy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SteelEdge Posted August 26, 2009 Share Posted August 26, 2009 Apart from him laughing at his own jokes in that high-pitched laugh he does, I really like Michael McIntyre! I find him really funny and am in shock that he's considered more of a twat than Jamie pissing Oliver!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Dart Posted August 26, 2009 Share Posted August 26, 2009 Come off it. Michael McIntyre higher than Jack Whitehall? McIntyre's hilarious. He is very smug, he does laugh at his own jokes, how many standup comediens don't? Grrrr. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bring Back Minipops Posted August 26, 2009 Share Posted August 26, 2009 SOOOOO glad to see Mc Intyre make it. I HATE the guy so much. I actually dread seeing who the guests are on Mock The Week in case he is one of them. Really boring, unfunny twat. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Awards Moderator HarmonicGenerator Posted August 26, 2009 Author Awards Moderator Share Posted August 26, 2009 9 Danny Dyer  What's he famous for? Being a cockney nutjob, innit, you slag. 'ave it, blindin', and so on.  And he's a twat because...  Argues one,  "Funny little cabbage-headed chubby bloke who's somehow carved a career out of being a walking Guy Ritchie film. Laughable luvvie who does a worse cockney stereotype than Dick Van Dyke."  Argues another,  "One-dimensional 'hard man' who plays pretty much the same role in everything he ever does, Fs and Cs his way through such performances, looks towards genuine hooligans with anything but risible contempt, got where he is using the HHH method of rubbing shoulders with Ray Winstone while getting film parts for his equally-no-mark mates with little to no effort. Has pulled the ultimate oxymoron by blagging a Zoo column that occurs a handful of pages before a "twat of the week" feature, and has nailed Gillian Anderson on screen. Envious? yes, absolutely."  Was he voted a Top Twat? What do you think?  And so to summarise, Danny Dyer is worse than... Having your cock fall off then fuck you in the face.     8 Davina McCall (hey, I recognise that bloke she's with. Twats must attract each other)  What's she famous for? Big Brother ...  And she's a twat because...  Let's hear from Mr. Seven again: No other cunt on the television makes me go apoplectic faster. Seriously, the hairs on my skin stand to attention, my blood starts to boil and I clench my fists so tight my knuckles threaten to explode. From her "wacky" schtick which extends to little more than shouting at "random" moments to her disgusting knacker tattoo on her wrist, everything about this bitch screams "Rape me with a knife". I won't lie though, I'd love to fuck her. Before I kill her slowly obviously.  Or to take a briefer response, there's the fact that she's an annoying witch.  Was she voted a Top Twat? Oh yes.  And so to summarise, Davina McCall is worse than... the economy.     7 Robbie Williams  What's he famous for? Singing.  And he's a twat because... As Seven says, he's basically the definition of the word...  Was he voted a Top Twat? Multiple times, yes.  And so to summarise, Robbie Williams is worse than... Syphilis. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators neil Posted August 26, 2009 Moderators Share Posted August 26, 2009 For Robbie Williams, I point to the following that can be seen/heard all over pubs in the UK: Â Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BionicRedneck Posted August 26, 2009 Share Posted August 26, 2009 Sorry, but there simply aren't 6 bigger twats than Robbie Williams. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Magnum Posted August 26, 2009 Share Posted August 26, 2009 3 of my rants have made the cut so far, so I'm fairly pleased. Can't see any of my other choices placing though, Doherty and Dyer were by far the most despicable on my list. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MRMIdAS Posted August 26, 2009 Share Posted August 26, 2009 I'm surprised how much of my directionless, bile-fuelled rants have made it thus far. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members seph Posted August 26, 2009 Paid Members Share Posted August 26, 2009 Dyer didn't even make the top 5? No way am I getting #1 correct on this then Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GalaxyV.2 Posted August 27, 2009 Share Posted August 27, 2009 Not sure about the boosh, i think a lot of the hate comes from the fans of there stuff, who are incredibly twattish. Â Not a huge Fielding fan, but Julian Barett is a genuinely funny guy, and anyone who has seen Nathan Barley knows he's a great actor as well. Â How has robbie williams been beaten?? thats ridiculous Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members bAzTNM#1 Posted August 27, 2009 Paid Members Share Posted August 27, 2009 You put Chris Moyles on TV, and he absolute dies out there. Fluffs everything. It's quite a pleasure to see. Â Stick to radio, tubby. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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