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UKFF Battle Rap 2012


CuckedByMenry

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You gonna come after me? You're the pupil, I'm the teacher,

Actually it's worse than that, I'm Schillinger, you're my fresh Beecher.

 

Take me to the cleaners? You must have a syndrome pointing down,

 

Loving it.

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Round 1: Shane O'Mac Version 2 vs. Lefty

 

Listen blood this might get nasty although I don’t know who you are

As far as I’m concerned you’re just some faggot with a shit avatar

And so I don’t get reported I meant those pork treats Butch eats

Not a homosexual, like those guys you pay to let you touch their man meat.

 

I had a little peek at your profile, it says you’re from Australia

So go ‘throw another shrimp on the Barbee’ while your mum lets me nail her

But that isn’t really a tricky feat, your mums an absolute sket.

Hell, she’d probably even fuck you, if you knew how to get a girl wet.

 

You’re lucky you live so far away my rhymes are lethal in close quarters.

But no, you’re in Oz, offering sweets to your neighbours’ 6 year old daughter

I guess paedo’s are treated differently over there, a nation of filthy crooks

But if I ever see you round these parts, you’ll be eating a right hook

And with a quick boot to the temple I’ll be saying goodnight

And you’ll just think “fuck me he has a MAC-10 tongue, and fists of pure dynamite”.

So after 15 lines you’re now riddled with lyrical lead

Now fuck off back to all the other fappers in the MMA thread.

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Freebird/Hollywood was the Flair/Steamboat of the B Rabbit world.

 

Freebird's effort was good but Hollywood smashed it to pieces with probably the funniest post in recent memory. I can't remember the last time I laughed so much while reading something on here.

 

:laugh:

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Reasonable effort Woy, but how about keeping to the format eh? ;)

 

Are we going to have a set length of submissions per round? It will be ridiculous if people start thinking quantity over quality and submitting enormous amounts of waffle.

Going by CorpRobinson's history know-how, 16 lines will do it.

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Reasonable effort Woy, but how about keeping to the format eh? ;)

 

Are we going to have a set length of submissions per round? It will be ridiculous if people start thinking quantity over quality and submitting enormous amounts of waffle.

Going by CorpRobinson's history know-how, 16 lines will do it.

 

Didn't see that. The rhymes have been SPAT now though. I can't very well pull all those bullets out of Richie's corpse and stuff them back in my uzi, can I? :(

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It's only 5 pages so far, it's not like shit's getting lost, I say fire away but that's just because it seemed like that's what we were supposed to do from Cuckedbymenry's list of all the competitors. Maybe he had other plans, who knows? He's obviously shit at organising this.

It has been a bit pooh hasn't it, Stevie Big Jugs. :(

 

And since I've poohed it well and truly with lack of guidance, any raps posted so far with more/less than 16 lines will be permitted. Forrest will now replace Burchill's (I'm really sorry,) Buddy. Retaliation raps are allowed until the deadline of 3:00pm next Saturday (21st). A new thread will be started for each round.

 

Once again, I am a chundercock. :(

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Quick idea, Menry - Could you start a Facebook page and put a link to it on here? At the end of each round, just type each poster/rappers' names in posts on the Facebook page and we vote for our winners by 'liking' the posters' name of each battle.

 

It would probably help to change the privacy settings on it so that the few people without Facebook could vote also.

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Round 1 - Dead Mike vs Slapnut

 

Uh, Uh, Yeah, Uh….here I go………..

 

You better listen up Slapnut, it's time for Mike to spit

My talent's extraordinary you're rhyming skills are shit

 

I saw that pic you posted, you look like a fucking hobbit

I'm a hung low, straight pimp. You're a cockless John Wayne Bobbit

 

Your sig is Andy Kaufman, I'm the king like Jerry Lawler

I'll leave you broke & beaten, a straight jobbing Brooklyn Brawler

 

Piledrive you through the canvas, break your neck & smash your face

Embarrass you on Letterman, in your phoney ass neck brace

 

All the ladies point at laugh at your distended big pot belly

I'm throwing cash & swiping plastic down your girlfriends ass like Nelly

 

You must be a fan of Double J...your moniker's his slogan

Our pairing's like 'Bash At The Beach'…..you're Jarrett & I'm Hogan

 

You know you'll end up lying down. I'm always going over

You'll wish you never drew me, holding on your four leaf clover

 

My rhymes will turn your stomach, like a Muslim eating pork

I'll make your bitch ass scared & flee, leaving Blighty for New York

 

Round 1 - Slapnut vs. Dead Mike

 

Dead Mike, congrats on first entry, I heard it was "phat"

I must've read the wrong one, all I see is some hopeless twat

 

You think you're better than me? You've got no style

Comparing yourself to Lawler, what are you, a paedophile?

 

You want to make people laugh Mike? Well go right ahead

Only problem is we're all laughing at the other guys instead

 

I'm the master of funk, Brodus Clay is my boy

My antics are more anticipated than Richie's battle rap with Woy'

 

And what's that in your sig, is that a map?

Your geography is as bad as your posting, it's a load of fucking crap

 

So now you're Hulk Hogan? More like his son Nick

I'll run you down boy while Brooke is sucking my dick

 

Eating crumpets with red cabbage? That shit is whack!

You need to stop that right now before I rip off your ball sack

 

And as for our little pairing here, you should be running for dear life

Cause I'm gonna rape your sorry ass and jizz all over your wife!

 

Peace and love, homies.

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