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UKFF Battle Rap 2012


CuckedByMenry

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It's only 5 pages so far, it's not like shit's getting lost, I say fire away but that's just because it seemed like that's what we were supposed to do from Cuckedbymenry's list of all the competitors. Maybe he had other plans, who knows? He's obviously shit at organising this.

 

There are 32 raps in the first round. Once this kicks off properly, a single thread's gonna be a right mess.

 

You'll need separate threads for the voting polls anyway. Because God help you if you're planning on totting up all the "poster 1 was the best" votes in this thread too.

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Round 1 Shit Poster vs Jambo

 

Shit poster don't give a fuck about jambo he's an asshole

He can't post half as good as Gladstone

your pulling technique?

A hundred times worse than Gatso

 

I got this lyrical tidal wave ready to collapse you

Your Scottish and tried to be brave

But where's your heart

your posts on this forum

look like a 5 year olds work of art

 

Me and you rapping is miles aprt

I am the rappng John Cena

No one meaner

I'll smack you down worse than Ike did to Tina

 

Your the Dundee supporter

I am the Ted Bundy supporter

You just got publicly murdered

Shame your mother never heard of abortion.

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Round 1

A Screen Up vs Toilet Rapper

 

Toilet Rapper

Your mum's a slapper

Second rate hooker,

I'll uppercut you, motherfucker

 

I got the notion to start it

Bitch, are you retarded?

I'll never delight ya

My jeans are tight, and my rhymes fucking tighter

 

Glad you've come for the tryouts

Now go back to your hideouts

I've never seen your posts, I guess I just missed ya

Bitch, here's a key, go and look after your sister.

 

Sorry I mentioned your mum,

And whoops I just dissed her,

But after my length

Her clit's just a blister

 

And one more time....

Toilet Rapper,

Your mum's a slapper,

Second rate hooker,

I'll uppercut you, motherfucker

 

(Outro....)

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It's only 5 pages so far, it's not like shit's getting lost, I say fire away but that's just because it seemed like that's what we were supposed to do from Cuckedbymenry's list of all the competitors. Maybe he had other plans, who knows? He's obviously shit at organising this.

 

There are 32 raps in the first round. Once this kicks off properly, a single thread's gonna be a right mess.

 

You'll need separate threads for the voting polls anyway. Because God help you if you're planning on totting up all the "poster 1 was the best" votes in this thread too.

 

So are we going to have a thread per battle?

 

 

Are you ready for our bout by the way?

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CleetusVanDamme vs tom

 

 

Yo yo yo,

I'm up against a supposed fine fine man,

You other bitches need to take notice,

See what I do to CleetusVanDamme

 

CleetusVanDamme? What kind of name is CleetusVanDamme?

I was gonna check if neil name raped you, But I be too busy fingering your Mam

 

You need to recognise I learnt to rap from old school Cena,

Mongs call him shit but there was nobody keener,

So I'll adjust your attitude, And take you to the cleaner,

Then everybody'll forget you like your Cody Deaner

 

This is like American Dad, I'm Stan Smith but you're just Rodger,

Everyone knows I'm dumping you out, You be gone quicker than Rey Piste's lodger,

And anyway, I've got a much bigger todger

 

With the women I'm a master, You're a little virgin boy,

You at home wishing your hand was faster, But I ride the ladies like I'm Tony McCoy,

Let's put this another way, I'm Darth Vader,

I've got a fucking death star, you just a masturbator

 

I hate the old cunt but I'm Jim Duggan,

I've got a massive piece of wood, And you'll be my ho,

My victory will be like a drive-by in the hood, Violent and sudden!

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I know i thought id mention it ;)

 

BTw, i never knew u lived in Northampton till today what a small world, good luck to you, by the time this is over our battles will be lost in this thread.

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Round 1

A Screen Up vs Toilet Rapper

 

Toilet Rapper

Your mum's a slapper

Second rate hooker,

I'll uppercut you, motherfucker

 

I got the notion to start it

Bitch, are you retarded?

I'll never delight ya

My jeans are tight, and my rhymes fucking tighter

 

Glad you've come for the tryouts

Now go back to your hideouts

I've never seen your posts, I guess I just missed ya

Bitch, here's a key, go and look after your sister.

 

Sorry I mentioned your mum,

And whoops I just dissed her,

But after my length

Her clit's just a blister

 

And one more time....

Toilet Rapper,

Your mum's a slapper,

Second rate hooker,

I'll uppercut you, motherfucker

 

(Outro....)

 

tumblr_louuuwtWz71qcfba3o1_500.gif

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Vs Tom

 

What kind of name is CVD? It's the name your mum be screaming,

Your dad probably knows it too, he gets woke up when she's dreaming.

I'm CleetusVanDamme I spit fire like a demon.

 

Why only finger my ma? Can your cock not raise?

You're the virgin pal, til the end of your days.

It's nice that you think you're the master,

But go have a look at your mum's flange, there's nothing left after I blast her.

 

You gonna come after me? You're the pupil, I'm the teacher,

Actually it's worse than that, I'm Schillinger, you're my fresh Beecher.

It's telling that you're a Cena fan, your execution is botched,

My rhymes are flawless, like a black Karl Gotch.

 

Take me to the cleaners? You must have a syndrome pointing down,

You even blink at me, I'll piledrive you into the ground, you'll be left with nothing from the neck down.

Some will say it's harsh, but I say it's fair.

You'll have mobility, like Tiger Rick has hair.

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