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tiger_rick

Great Wrestling Promo Transcripts

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'When i came here two years ago and i was Mankind, you know there was always people saying 'hey, why don't you just be Cactus Jack?', then i came out in tye-dye and some white boots and they said 'you know why don't you just be Cactus Jack?'...Well i gave you Cactus Jack! I gave you every Goddamn bit of energy i had! And when i was laying here helpless...you chanted someone elses name. This is not a knock on Stone Cold Steve Austin, hey i'm happy he's the champion, and he may not admit it but we've known eachother a long time and he's been my friend. But what you did to me and Terry Funk laying here in the middle of the ring was not only distasteful and disrespectul, it was Goddamn disgusting, and i'm going to give you the chance to make it up to me, because i'm going to accept a group apology right now (waits for reaction). . . Well, i can finally say, for the first time, after thirteen years of blood sweat and tears, that it's not worth it anymore. It's going to be a long time before you see Cacus Jack in the ring again.

Doesn't really do it justice in it's typed form as the delivery and emotion etched on Foleys face and heard in his voice make it. Kept short and sweet, made it's point perfectly as the pre-cursor to what was going to happen next with Mick Foley. I was going to post more but couldn't find any of Micks stuff that hasn't already been posted or isn't already in his book, that i can't remember word for word. If anyone could post the Mankind sit-down interview with Jim Ross from 1997 in it's entirety then i'd happily suck your cock.

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Guest TheGoldenGun

Shane Douglas after winning the NWA title

It's no question about it Too Cold Scorpio, you are one hell of a competitor and I will not be a champion that hides. I stand here, before God and my father in Heaven tonight, as I said I would be: World's Heavyweight champion. In the tradition of Lou Thesz; in the tradition of Jack Brisco; all of the Brisco Brothers; of Dory Funk Jr, of Terry Funk, the man who will never die; and the real

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Managers being the charismatic mouthpieces for their wrestlers.

 

There's been Jim Cornette with numerous wrestlers, Freddie Blassie did it, Bobby Heenan did it, Paul Heyman with Brock Lesnar, and many more.

 

So, on that note ....

 

 

Violent J: "Look here motherfucker.

I would be going for the world title myself,

or Shaggy here would be going for the world title.

But, seeing as how we

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"I'm Jim Cornette, and I was wondering if you were as sick as I am about guys who claim to the the Icon of wrestling. Hulk Hogan and Roddy Piper claim to be the Icon; Shawn Michaels is 'the Icon that can still go'; Bret Hart would claim to be the Icon if we wasn't to busy crying about being screwed; and I guess Randy Savage is still 'thinkin', thinkin''.

 

"Well Shawn Michaels is the single most talented athlete in wrestling today inside the ring, but outside he's an adoescent, obnoxious jerk who takes his tights and goes home if he doesn't get his way. Bret Hart is one of the greatest of all time, but if he'd had been screwed as many times as he claims, he'd have struck oil by now. And Randy Savage is a legend, but let me ask you: how many records did Frank Sinatra sell last year?

 

"But the pinnacle of this Icon garbage took place in last night's cage match between Hulk Hogan and Roddy Piper, to determine in their minds only who the real Icon is. WCW had the gall to claim this was the greatest cage match in history, when it was only the greatest in the three weeks since Hell In A Cell.

 

"But here you've got a 46-year old bald movie star wannabe who looks like Uncle Creepy with a good build taking on a guy with an artificial hip who hasn't wrestled a full schedule in ten years. It's a tribute to the massive egotism - in my mind - of both men and an indictment of WCW's promotional policy that this match even took place - much less in the main event - when the card was one of the best WCW was capable of having. By the ten minute mark they were sucking wind so bad, the first three rows passed out of oxygen deprivation. Would have been funny if it wasn't so sad.

 

"Well I'm sick and damn tired of guys claiming to be the Icon when it usually comes from guys who didn't know when to quit. Roddy Piper was my idol when I was a teenager, but that was twenty years ago. Hulk Hogan on his best day was 50 per cent media creation, and those are long gone. This match was a slap in the face to every wrestler who takes pride in this industry.

 

"And in my mind, no one man is bigger than this sport, but if there were to be an Icon it would be a guy with incredible ability inside the ring and professionalism and maturity outside of it.

 

"Let's leave all the petty, backstabbing I-make-more-money-than-you BS with the head check girl, and concentrate on talent and attitude.

 

"The Undertaker, Ric Flair and Steve Austin have never claimed to be Icons, which means they're big candidates to be just that.

 

"And in a personal message to Hulk Hogan: you are a household word, but so is garbage, and it stinks when it gets old too.

 

"I'm Jim Cornette, and that's my opinion."

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"Well well well ....It is I:The bacon in her eggs.The man for whom she begs.And the face between her legs.The lyrical miracle.The sexual intellectual.And the quintessential studmuffinJoel

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"But here you've got a 46-year old bald movie star wannabe who looks like Uncle Creepy with a good build taking on a guy with an artificial hip who hasn't wrestled a full schedule in ten years. It's a tribute to the massive egotism - in my mind - of both men and an indictment of WCW's promotional policy that this match even took place - much less in the main event - when the card was one of the best WCW was capable of having. By the ten minute mark they were sucking wind so bad, the first three rows passed out of oxygen deprivation. Would have been funny if it wasn't so sad.

That is such an awesome line.Did Cornette do more than one of those promos or am I imagining it?

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He did some on Byte This I think, I recall him mentioning that in one of his shoots. Fuck Heyman, Cornette is God.

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"But here you've got a 46-year old bald movie star wannabe who looks like Uncle Creepy with a good build taking on a guy with an artificial hip who hasn't wrestled a full schedule in ten years.  It's a tribute to the massive egotism - in my mind - of both men and an indictment of WCW's promotional policy that this match even took place - much less in the main event - when the card was one of the best WCW was capable of having.  By the ten minute mark they were sucking wind so bad, the first three rows passed out of oxygen deprivation. Would have been funny if it wasn't so sad.

That is such an awesome line.Did Cornette do more than one of those promos or am I imagining it?
I believe that ones on the WWE Monday Night Wars DVD. Thats awesome, it really is.

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"But here you've got a 46-year old bald movie star wannabe who looks like Uncle Creepy with a good build taking on a guy with an artificial hip who hasn't wrestled a full schedule in ten years.  It's a tribute to the massive egotism - in my mind - of both men and an indictment of WCW's promotional policy that this match even took place - much less in the main event - when the card was one of the best WCW was capable of having.  By the ten minute mark they were sucking wind so bad, the first three rows passed out of oxygen deprivation. Would have been funny if it wasn't so sad.

That is such an awesome line.Did Cornette do more than one of those promos or am I imagining it?
From what I remember he only ever did two.I've got it on video from an episode of RAW either the week before or week after the one quoted above.Writing a transcript of it now ....

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"But here you've got a 46-year old bald movie star wannabe who looks like Uncle Creepy with a good build taking on a guy with an artificial hip who hasn't wrestled a full schedule in ten years.

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"But here you've got a 46-year old bald movie star wannabe who looks like Uncle Creepy with a good build taking on a guy with an artificial hip who hasn't wrestled a full schedule in ten years.

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"This is Jim Cornette and the views that I

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His names Sean Waltman, whatever you wanna call him.Well as far as I’m concerned the only reason he’s employedIs because the other guys think it’s funny when he gets drunk and throws up on himself.

I knew there was an awesome Waltman line in there somewhere.Brilliant.

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Some Eddie on here?

If people can find it and type it up Eddie Guerrero's promo the Smackdown before beating Brock Lesnar at No Way Out is still my favourite promo of all time. In five minutes he made me care more about that match than four weeks worth of build up.

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