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Flanked at the urinal


Lion_of_the_Midlands

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Can I tell my Goldie story? 

Back in the late 90s the band I was in got a deal with a clothing company called Criminal, and did a whole load of gigs for them around and about.  We did a big trade show up in London at (I think) the Wembley Conference Centre called 40 Degrees for them - they built a little jail cell in their area of the show floor, we set up basically our entire studio so we could do a live PA from inside it.  A lot of work, but worth it.

One of the larger stands down the way from us had Goldie DJing for.  One of our crew knew him vaguely through 4Hero so we thought we'd pop down to say hi during our break.  He was DJing when we got down there but when he saw my mate he waved at him, took off his headphones and came round the booth to see him.  

Whilst they were talking, the record that was on mysteriously mixed itself into another record even though Goldie wasn't at the decks.  I popped my head round the corner to have a look, and sure enough there was a DAT machine under the record decks.  His whole set was pretaped.

Bastard.

 

Edited by Loki
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27 minutes ago, Loki said:

... and sure enough there was a DAT machine under the record decks.  His whole set was pretaped.

Bastard.

 

A prepared professional by the sounds of it.

For all he has the public image of a 50 year old youth offender, he seemed pretty sound (we did a gig with him about 10-12 years ago, hence the piss). I never realised until recently that his son was doing life in prison for murder.

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2 hours ago, Kaz Hayashi said:

A prepared professional by the sounds of it.

Yeah, there was naive me trying to do everything live, and he was just faking it.  As indeed almost all electronic acts do, I subsequently discovered.  A few years later I bumped into the guy who (at the time) bought records for, and actually mixed on the Radio 1 show of Judge Jules who probably hasn't beatmatched anything since 1994.

 

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Bit of a non-Celebrity pissing story that slightly traumatised me at the time...

Anyone who has had a slash at a well attended Football game during the halftime interval will know that everyone is bunched together in an almost Concentration Camp style affair, with very little room between supporters and a real sense of urgency for loads of people to empty their bladders quickly, all at the same time.

I am no scientist, so am unsure what makes urine turn to steam? I guess it is the combination of the cold temperature in the concourse of the Football Stadium and the boiling temperature of beer induced piss, that has been bubbling away for over 45 minutes of frantic footy action?

Anyhow. As i released a hot stream of golden bodily waste, i noticed it was steaming...really really steaming! & when i turned to my right to see where it was going, much to my horror, the bloke stood next to me was COMPLETELY ENGULFED IN STEAMING PISS! & i do mean completely! You could barely see him!

Luckily i got to leg it quickly before my pissing partner appeared, "Stars in Their Eyes Style" from backstage . This got me wondering which celebrity look alike  would be best represented to appear on that programme, appearing through hot steaming piss and onto centre stage? 😀

 

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